I don’t live in a fancy house. The landscaping in front leaves something to be desired. I planted this front bed last year before I fell, but the heat did away with it. And most of it didn’t come up in the spring time like it did in the back yard.
I come from very humble beginnings. We were poor. We didn’t have a car. My grandmothers and I walked to the grocery store in town and walked back home. Seemed like the paper sacks got heavier with every step.
But we had a prolific garden. And we ate well. Blackberry cobblers. Fresh tomatoes and cucumbers and onions and potatoes. We didn’t go to restaurants.
I was on my own at an early age. I made lots of mistakes. I married three times.
I never did get it right. I don’t have the desire to try any more. I just want my peace and my dogs and my little blue house.
If you want to see grandeur and read about fancy houses, I’m sorry, you’re in the wrong place.
I’ve lived in fancy houses.
Fancy houses, I can promise you, don’t make you happy. Modest ones don’t either. Houses are simply where you hang your apron.
I suppose you could say in some ways I’ve been to hell and back. The kind of hell that being married and miserable brings.
Maybe it’s just the feeling of being trapped, and you either chew off your foot or die trying.
I can’t blame a whole bunch of other people. It is what it is.
I have two daughters in their mid to late thirties who I love dearly. And two precious grandchildren. I started young. I didn’t know beans about mothering. And I wasn’t blessed with one of my own to teach me.
And I love the spoiled and sometimes ornery pupsters. Sometimes they’re as silly and aggravating as the day is long. But they’re the best companions a woman could have just the same.
I don’t have the latest this or that. I tossed the credit cards when I moved here. I don’t carry a “smart” phone or know how to text.
I don’t go to stores and buy new things to show you. I will admit I did once. I think I was mostly trying to fill the emptiness I felt within.
I sold the bulk of those new things before I moved here. I needed the money more. I don’t miss them.
I do miss my cats. What is important has a beating heart. No matter how hard you try, you can’t breathe life into “things.”
Please understand. I don’t begrudge people their beautiful and expensive things. I once had them too. In the end, I was more than happy to trade them in on another life.
A new lease on life.