I have a cable guy story I’ve been meaning to tell you. A couple of weeks ago I finally figured out that I needed one of those little boxes to continue getting cable TV. I only get channels 1-20, but seemed it was going to be necessary no matter how many channels you signed up for receiving.
So I called and they sent one to me. I read the instructions (which does not mean much) and also watched a YouTube video. The young woman on the video made it look ever so easy. She never stopped smiling. I imagine her facial muscles hurt for a day or two after that.
Please tell me, why don’t they get moderately old ladies like us doing those videos? Do they think the younger lady can explain it better?
So I was all ready. I checked everything that was in the small box. Then I went behind the bed, all ready to take the one cable the lady insisted I would have and do with it whatever it was. I forget now.
Except, I had three cables. Because it seems the cable guy that hooked it up last year when I moved here ran out of cable, and used one of those steel gizmos to connect what he had. And so it had three cables. I was at a total loss.
So I called the number they gave on the box. And they scheduled a cable guy to come out in a few days.
He was a big strapping boy who looked like he’d just walked off his daddy’s farm from working the crops.
I led him to my bedroom, where I have my only TV. (I have another in the closet, but choose not to use it.)
So he starts to unscrew the cable from the back of the TV, which I was unable to do. And he tried and he tried.
Finally, a bit meekly, being aware that he was a male, who tend to have big egos about such things, he asked if I had a pair of pliers.
I did. I’d already tried with them. But I figured a male could easily do it. I fetched them.
So I sat on the bed holding the dogs so they wouldn’t cause any unpleasantness while he tried. And he tried. With gusto he tried.
He took off his cap and wiped sweat from his brow. And then he’d reach back and hitch up his pants.
By now his face was very red. Thirty minutes have passed. He hitches up his pants every so often. Then mops his brow.
I said: “Look, why don’t you just cut the cable off? I have another smaller TV in the closet, if you’ll get it down off the high shelf for me. I don’t mind using that one.”
No, he was going to get it unscrewed. He just was.
And so he tried and he tried. And he took off his cap and wiped his now very sweaty brow. He hitched up his pants. And he added to the little routine. He put down the pliers and worked on massaging his hands, which were really beginning to ache I would imagine.
Forty-five minutes have passed. He’s a little embarrassed; his face red as a beet. Probably from such exertion.
The dogs are quiet, watching all this with little enthusiasm. But had I put them down, loud barking and jumping would have ensued. So I held them to me.
I kept saying I thought he should just stop and cut the darned thing. So finally, after about the sixth time I mentioned it, he did. Took a knife out of his pocket and just cut the cable.
Then the cable that came loose was still screwed so tightly it looked like a piglet’s tail. Or a woman who has had a bad perm. (You remember those tight curls that sometimes occurred with a home perm a friend gave you, don’t you?)
But the thing was cut. And he took the smaller TV off my high closet shelf and put the bigger TV back up there in its place. I told him if he couldn’t get the bigger one up there, to just put it on the closet floor.
He’d already failed at one thing. He was by golly going to be able to lift the heavier TV onto the high shelf. And he did.
I don’t know what herculean cable guy tightened that cable in the first place. Trying for a bit of levity, I said maybe the guy was mad at his wife or something that day last year when he did it. But he sealed it for life.
It embarrassed big strapping boy whose face was red the whole time he struggled with it. Because he’d wasted near an hour and I imagine they were going to be asking him what took so long disconnecting a cable.
I felt for him. For, well, you just had to be there.
So you this afternoon for Tweak it.