The other day I was in Braums (they were once places where you got ice cream and burgers; now they have small markets), picking up milk and yogurt.
I paused in front of the meat. Many times at night I will have boiled eggs (that I make in a little machine reader Charlotte sent me), and bacon along with a piece of toast.
I asked the woman clerk, if they had turkey bacon. “No,” she said, “but the pork tastes much better.”
Hm. I’ve been buying turkey bacon for years and am accustomed to the taste. I don’t like new tastes or possibly textures very much. But, I picked up a package anyway.
While she checked out my items, we got to talking about the miserable heat and humidity, the kind that fogs up all the glass.
Somehow we got on the topic of menopause, which women of a certain age often do.
She said: “I had all of four hot flashes (lucky, lucky woman).” She scanned a few more items and put them in a sack. “And then,” she said, and paused, “I lost my mind.”
She didn’t look up or smile as though this was said in jest.
When I got home, I opened the fridge door to put away the food. Right there in plain sight were two unopened packages of turkey bacon.
I don’t think I’m losing my mind. I think it’s already gone. I have the memory of a gnat.
Several times lately when I walk into the kitchen, I see that I’ve left the water running. I feel a jolt of fear, wondering how long it’s been running. How much will my bill be? When was I last in here?
Also, at this age, that is another of your constant concerns. How much will the bill be about everything.
I remember hearing people say that when I was young, and it seemed so silly. I was a kid. What did I know?
I make sure I never have more than one lamp on at any one time. No light is ever left on once I leave the room. If my daughter happens to be here, I follow her around turning off lights. Heck, I do the same thing at her house!
In my bathroom, when you turn on the overhead light, the fan also comes on. I worry that that’s too much electricity. So I won’t use it. I put a lamp in there and use the lamp.
The world changes as you grow older. Or you grow older and your view of it has changed.
Four hot flashes! Can you imagine having so few you actually could count them on one hand?