The pupsters are here with me on the couch. The sky is a dull gray flecked with light blue and occasionally the sun shines through. The wind is making shushing and whipping sounds and shaking the tree branches.
I have, as is common for me, Law & Order SVU on my TV in the background as I sit here with my laptop. ADA Alex Cabot has just been shot, and I know from watching this episode a number of times that they are faking her death to put her into witness protection.
I have no idea how many TV channels I actually have access to, because I only watch maybe 3-4 channels. USA, MSNBC, ION Television where I watch all the reruns. And once in a blue moon I will watch Lifetime.
I am not one to sit and surf through the channels. The possibilities of what is on TV doesn’t really matter to me.
Charlie has heard something outside. I could tell him there are rarely squirrels out front. They tend to do their acrobatics out on the patio. But even the squirrels seem reluctant to brave the stiff winds today.
He probably heard the maintenance man opening or closing the door of the shed that sits in front of my apartment. Or someone unloading a truck in the alley behind the strip mall. Normal occurrences around here.
I won’t go out today. I didn’t go out yesterday. Probably won’t go out tomorrow.
I like my apartment. I am not the type of person who has to be constantly entertained by going and doing.
I have the front door open so the house plants can get more light through the glass storm door. It looks out on the pale yellow cinder block wall of the back of the strip mall. It isn’t pretty. I see the same thing out back.
But after nearly four years of living here, it doesn’t bother me anymore. It is what it is. I could say it’s ugly, with the necessary pipes criss-crossing the back of the building, but why let it bother me?
Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder.
Yes, it would be wonderful to live out in the countryside. To have cows in the fields and see land as far as the eye could see. But I live here and that is okay.
I prefer not to see the negatives in my surroundings.
The glass is half full.
I believe it is best to change what is easy to change, and to ignore what isn’t.
Come spring, there will be green emerging out on the patio. Even though we’ve had a very cold winter so far, hopefully some of my container plants will have made it through. I hope the freezes haven’t killed what lies beneath the soil. But right now that is out of my control, so I won’t let it worry me.
I prefer to focus on things that I can make beautiful, to the squirrels that delight me and the birds that perch on the fence, than to worry what is beyond that.
You can’t always change your view. But you can always change how you let it affect you.