The yellow roses are abundant right now.
Andrew sitting on my couch playing games.
I ate one of the peppers from my garden. Last night I sliced fresh cucumber over my salad. It tasted wonderful. Nothing like store produce.
Last night in the wee hours I felt Charlie lie down against my back. He didn’t stay long. But still, more progress.
Charlie has always been submissive. If you reach down to pick him up, he will belly flop on the floor like he’s afraid. I don’t know why he does this. I guess it’s just his nature.
I know his back is still hurting even though I’m giving him the pain pills the vet gave me. I hope the acupuncture helps him on Wednesday.
Every morning I wake up and the loss of Abi slaps me in the face. The fact that she isn’t here with me.
Last night I was standing just outside the patio door while Charlie was outside. When I looked at Charlie through the film of my tears, he looked just like Abi.
For just a moment, it seemed she was back here with us.
Grief feels like a foreign entity has crept into my body. And I am a mere puppet waiting for it to pull me in the direction it wants me to go. I’m crying and then suddenly I’m numb.
Charlie is always close to me. I pet him and talk to him and tell him I love him throughout the day. Last night he went under the bed again. I wonder if he’s looking for Abi?
I’m looking for Abi too. Will she be a butterfly that lights on my flowers? A bird that sits on the fence and chirps its song?