I guess one way to look at it is that our brains was the original computer. We don’t have Google to bring up memories in our brain. But we can sometimes summon them up by merely thinking about something.
Sometimes my brain whirs like a machine, chugging along so fast I can hardly keep up with it. Other times it’s like a shuttered beach house closed down for the season.
Still, it is the miracle of miracles, the brain. If a computer is thrown against a brick wall it will shatter. So will a brain if there is sudden impact with a heavy object. In both cases, there is often irreversible damage.
For some odd reason I woke up thinking about all of this. I don’t know if it was leftover crumbs from a dream. Or just happenstance.
I think of little children and how they survive the things they do. Like my sister. I’ve read the children’s services report on her childhood. She had six mothers by the time she was 18 months old. Can you imagine?
How could she possibly bond with one when there were so many in so short a time? I doubt very much that she did.
She chose not to ever marry or have children.
She lives alone at age 52 and seems to have no social life. She has closed herself off with her multitude of pets. She draws the curtains on possible relationships.
My older sister once told me that she and my little brother ate out of trash cans. Fortunately for a time they lived next door to a kind older woman.
She knew their situation. And she would put freshly cooked food at the top of her trash can, leveled evenly, so they would have something to eat.
There is no required exam to test if a person is fit to be a parent. There are tests to check out your knowledge of everything else. Driving tests, college exams. You name it.
But children are born to anyone whose body can plant a seed and grow a fetus.
And so this world has many irretrievably damaged human beings that never really had a decent shot at life. Their cards were dealt early on.
Many were born and then scattered about the earth like confetti. Blowing in the wind like my five siblings.
In the few occasions I’ve actually talked to any of them, they recounted their childhood memories to me. They talked about it like they were discussing a grocery list.
Because the emotion had been wrung out of them at an early age. And they had nothing left to lift them up.
When you plant a seed in the garden, you must nurture it. Love it and tend to it.
And more than likely, you will be rewarded with a profusion of beautiful flowers.
Childhood neglect literally stunts the brain.
So many children fall through the proverbial cracks and are left to flounder on their own.
Isolation in early childhood sets off a flood of hormones that permanently warp a child’s response to stress. And this response leaves them anxious and prone to violent mood swings.
This is so damaging, especially for infants, who quite literally depend on social stimulation to shape their minds.
10 Signs You Grew Up With Childhood Emotional Neglect:
1. You struggle with self-discipline.
Even if you think something is right you have trouble standing up for it. You have a lot of trouble overcoming your own weaknesses and you aren’t quite sure why. This can also be a numbness.
2. You feel empty.
This can also be a numbness.
3. You pride yourself on not relying on others.
You feel as though there should never be a need to depend on other people for anything at all. You also struggle with asking for help when you need it.
4. You often want to be alone.
You like to spend time alone because most people just don’t understand you. You feel as though you don’t fit in with other people. While you would love to have real friends there is not much room for connecting with other people in your mind.
5. You seem to be unhappy from time to time for no apparent reason.
Your unhappy moments don’t come on because something bad has happened, they simply show up out of nowhere and unannounced. You don’t know how to explain this and it drives you mad.
6. You have trouble knowing what it is you’re feeling.
When a baby is born, his/her brain houses over one hundred billion neurons that will chart paths and make connections based on the social experiences they encounter.
By the age of two and a half, approximately 85 percent of the baby’s neurological growth is complete, meaning the foundation of their brain’s capacity is in place.
By age three, the child’s brain is 90 percent of its completed adult size. – Dr. Bruce Perry