Isn’t this the sweetest picture of Charlie standing next to the gardenia plant? He is so precious.
I don’t know why this past weekend the grief came crashing down on me to the degree it did. I think I cried more this past weekend than I’ve cried in ten years.
My heart was so heavy. I kept having flashbacks from the last week with Abi. The images were moving at a fast clip. Everything that happened.
How she was wasting away before my very eyes. How helpless I felt.
My impish silly little girl was limp and tired and in pain. And there was nothing I could do.
If there had been a safe place for me to jump off, to get away from the mental images for awhile, I surely would have gladly jumped feet first without looking.
My patio provides a nice temporary distraction. I can go out there for awhile and kind of lose myself tending to the plants in my garden.
I played around with my blog header yesterday for something else to distract me. That kept me busy for awhile.
I started and finished Brad Park’s book “Closer Than You Know.” It kept me going the whole time. And surprised me at the end as well.
Before that I read “Everyone Knows You Go Home.” That keeps me busy at night.
Tulsa’s “The Door Man” is here to take my storm door down that broke into many pieces on Friday. Then he will put up my new storm still in the box that’s been in my way all weekend.
One of the maintenance men helped me clean up the tiny pieces of glass on Friday. But he left and never came back. So I went and bought a new one.
I called Lowes, I called Larson’s Doors that manufactured the door. There is no warranty on glass. I hope this door lasts longer than four years.
I was hoping to get the apartment complex to fix this so I wouldn’t have the added expense. But I can tell from talking to the manager that that wouldn’t happen for some time.
My storm door makes me feel safer. To have two locked doors when you live alone just gives you added comfort.
And my Charlie boy loves to sit at the storm door and look outside.
He might see someone walking a dog or a cat passing by. Or maybe a squirrel running along the fence that borders the alley.
It entertains him. So it is very important to me that he have that to enjoy.
Life can be glorious, but it can also be hard. To love means eventually you will grieve. Unless you leave this earth first.
I woke up thinking about this song, so I looked up the words. I know many of you will recall “How Can You Mend A Broken Heart” and the melody will come back to you.
Was everything a man could want to do
I could never see tomorrow
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart
And misty memories of days gone by
But no one said a word about the sorrow.
How can you stop the rain from falling down
What makes the world go round.