When most people think of Christmas, they envision big family dinners and lots of revelry. But what if you what you really want to do is spend the holidays alone doing what you want to do?
is something wrong with you if you want to change things up?
What if you don’t like those big family dinners? Does that mean something is intrinsically wrong with you?
What if you just have the desire to spend the day doing what you want to do?
Does this make you selfish? No, it does not.
Society judges women differently than they judge men. Women are expected to be in charge of planning and cooking and making the day joyous.
If a man chooses to spend his holiday on a cruise ship, no one thinks a thing of it.
Take the pressure off yourself:
If you’re being pressured to plan or attend an event, simply say you’re going to do something different this year. That you really want to enjoy a quiet holiday alone, or with your pets.
Be firm. This is your holiday and you should be able to spend it as you choose.
You do not have to be held hostage by what others demand of you. Stand up for yourself and hold firm. Don’t feel guilty.
Someone else can take the reins this year. They will manage.
Maybe what you yearn to do is spend the day watching a whole slew of movies cuddled up with your pets on the sofa.
There’s nothing wrong with that!
Most of my readers are older women. We have raised our children. Many of us are widowed or divorced or have remained single.
We need to embrace our autonomy. Stop doing things just because it’s what you’ve been doing for years. Or it’s what others have come to expect of you.
One thing you must learn: You are the master of your own ship. You do not have to follow the dictates of others or follow family traditions forever.
Change is good. It’s time for the grown kids to learn to create their own holiday memories with their family. It will actually do them a world of good.
Things to do on the holiday:
- Stay in your jammies all day and listen to old music
- Go for a long drive in the country and enjoy the scenery
- Make your own special meal or pick up take-out and don’t cook at all
- Rearrange your furniture for a quick decorating reset
- Plan your spring and summer gardens on paper
- Start a DIY project you’ve been looking forward to doing
- Buy yourself a nice gift. (This is mandatory!)
Holidays should not be either/or. They should be what you most want them to be. Otherwise they aren’t holidays. They are commitments.
Please don’t feel a bit guilty for making yourself number 1. If you aren’t going to do it, then who is going to?