Liz contacted me to let me know how she’s doing so I can keep you all up to date on her life after the divorce.
She was recently offered another job as a nurse to work long shifts on weekends, and she gets really good wages working those shifts.
She says her life is a roller coaster since her move, but she sounds really happy.
But here’s her big news. She got accepted into a community college! Having rheumatoid arthritis, she knows that nursing will become eventually become too difficult spending so much time on her feet.
She is planning to take courses in medical coding and billing, and is really excited about that. Her weekdays are now open because she works long weekends, so her classes will fit into her schedule.
She says she feels that things are finally falling into place for her, and she is counting her blessings.
Her family and friends have been very supportive. And she thanks all of you for giving her such great advice at a time when it was hard for her to think through what was happening.
You helped her to leave that horrible situation.
A nurse friend gave her a book to read that gives meaning to life’s disappointments. She feels that it will help her gain perspective on her new life.
She says she knows she needs to look at the big void in her life, and instead of seeing it as an empty space, to see it as a space for potential to bring her new and wonderful things.
Her constant companion is her little dog. She says he loves to watch the squirrels in the back yard. He never chases them. Just calmly looks at them as if to say “Hi friends!”
Liz feels that everything is a “work in progress.” She is trying to build a new life from the ground up. Though the divorce was a great and unexpected loss filled with sadness, now she knows she is in a better place.
Her “ex” was bold enough to send her an email asking about her life. She didn’t answer it. (Yea, Liz!)
She says that sometimes you need to close a door so that God can open a window.
“Please know how thankful I am and know that you all hold a special place in my heart.”
So Liz is doing well, looking toward her future. Divorce after 50 or 60 isn’t something we want, but sometimes it’s necessary. If you’re being treated badly, any of you, please know that you deserve so much better.
As I know personally, sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, get up your courage, and take a leap of faith.
I thought I was getting to that point half a dozen times, only to chicken out. Then I would be so hard on myself for not being braver.
But you must not blame yourself for all the times you didn’t leave. You must focus on the fact that you did finally leave a terrible situation.
As I’ve said so many times, regret is meaningless. It is a complete waste of time and energy. We all do it. We tend to judge ourselves so harshly.
But it’s never too late to follow your dreams. Whether it’s to go to college after 60 or start your own business or get a place you can call your own, be patient with yourself. Most of all, be good to yourself.
Because no one else is going to give you that. Never place your happiness in someone else’s hands. I did that and it ended quite badly.
It takes courage, immense courage, to stop listening to someone who is trying to tear you down. But there is a little voice inside of you, perhaps just a whisper, that says “yes you can.”
And you will.