Divorce

Catching Up With Liz

Liz contacted me to let me know how she’s doing so I can keep you all up to date on her life after the divorce.

She was recently offered another job as a nurse to work long shifts on weekends, and she gets really good wages working those shifts.

She says her life is a roller coaster since her move, but she sounds really happy.

But here’s her big news. She got accepted into a community college! Having rheumatoid arthritis, she knows that nursing will become eventually become too difficult spending so much time on her feet.

She is planning to take courses in medical coding and billing, and is really excited about that. Her weekdays are now open because she works long weekends, so her classes will fit into her schedule.

She says she feels that things are finally falling into place for her, and she is counting her blessings.

Her family and friends have been very supportive. And she thanks all of you for giving her such great advice at a time when it was hard for her to think through what was happening.

You helped her to leave that horrible situation.

A nurse friend gave her a book to read that gives meaning to life’s disappointments. She feels that it will help her gain perspective on her new life.

She says she knows she needs to look at the big void in her life, and instead of seeing it as an empty space, to see it as a space for potential to bring her new and wonderful things.

Her constant companion is her little dog. She says he loves to watch the squirrels in the back yard. He never chases them. Just calmly looks at them as if to say “Hi friends!”

Liz feels that everything is a “work in progress.” She is trying to build a new life from the ground up. Though the divorce was a great and unexpected loss filled with sadness, now she knows she is in a better place.

Her “ex” was bold enough to send her an email asking about her life. She didn’t answer it. (Yea, Liz!)

She says that sometimes you need to close a door so that God can open a window.

“Please know how thankful I am and know that you all hold a special place in my heart.”

So Liz is doing well, looking toward her future. Divorce after 50 or 60 isn’t something we want, but sometimes it’s necessary. If you’re being treated badly, any of you, please know that you deserve so much better.

As I know personally, sometimes you just have to take a deep breath, get up your courage, and take a leap of faith.

I thought I was getting to that point half a dozen times, only to chicken out. Then I would be so hard on myself for not being braver.

But you must not blame yourself for all the times you didn’t leave. You must focus on the fact that you did finally leave a terrible situation.

As I’ve said so many times, regret is meaningless. It is a complete waste of time and energy. We all do it. We tend to judge ourselves so harshly.

But it’s never too late to follow your dreams. Whether it’s to go to college after 60 or start your own business or get a place you can call your own, be patient with yourself. Most of all, be good to yourself.

Because no one else is going to give you that. Never place your happiness in someone else’s hands. I did that and it ended quite badly.

It takes courage, immense courage, to stop listening to someone who is trying to tear you down. But there is a little voice inside of you, perhaps just a whisper, that says “yes you can.”

And you will.

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24 Comments

  1. So glad to hear that Liz is doing ok, and especially happy to hear that she is looking forward and preparing for a time when she can’t do nursing. I know that she’ll make new friends and get to a place where she will enjoy her life.

    1. Oh what a beautiful message as I read this on Monday. Thank you Liz and Brenda for the reminders. Much love and appreciation. Oh, respect and admiration too, Fran

  2. Brenda ~ Thanks so much for the Liz update!! I am THRILLED for her! And YAY!!! for her for not answering that Email!
    Liz ~ Congratulations on going back to school! That tells me you are not living in the past ~ that you are looking ahead for yourself.
    We have your back!
    bobbie R.N.

  3. This is the best news that I have heard in a long time. Congratulations Liz and good luck in college! Thanks for sharing this wonderful news Brenda!

  4. How wonderful to hear that Liz is doing well, Brenda. So happy for her. Thanks for updating us and for the wise words you shared regarding being kind to ourselves.

    Also, for the gorgeous flower photos. I so enjoy those glimpses you give us of your beautiful patio.

    My flower array this year has not materialized to my satisfaction—yet. Possibly it will come closer to my fantasies as the season continues. My lack of energy combined with this Spring’s cold and wet weather have conspired to prevent me from doing as much as I’d wanted. But I will keep puttering as much as possible any way.

    Hope your weekend is happy and peaceful. Pats to the fur babies.

  5. I am so happy Liz is happy and making great strides in her new life. She has a bright future ahead of her.

  6. There is another type of abuse that is financial. It takes courage to leave that one, too. Taking care of yourself can be a challenge when taking care of others was your world.

  7. I’m so happy that Liz’s life is getting better and better! I’m so very proud of her, for not answering that email too! That would of been a big mistake! She will always be in my thoughts and prayers, as well as my blogging friends and the community that it holds!
    Good job Brenda and thanks for keeping everyone informed about Liz! I’m hoping you can get your email subscription fixed too! When you do please let everyone know on your blog! Thanks!

  8. Sorry, I meant to write…”Your blog revealed you to be a person she thought she could turn to for support.”

  9. You and Liz are both an inspiration to other women. Your blog revealed you to be a person she thought she could turn to support. You invited your readers to give support too. Liz got courage from the support and worked hard to launch herself into a new life that puts her needs first instead of the needs of a husband who didn’t value her. I appreciate it that both of you have shared your lives with the rest of us. Thank you.

  10. It’s impressive how motivated that Liz is in finding a new path for herself. You were a a great support to her, something you didn’t have to do but chose to do because you knew what it was like to be in such a bad spot. I can see that Liz really appreciates how you helped her because she has stayed in touch to let you know how she is doing. Both of you are a big inspiration to others.

  11. What wonderful news! Uplifting to read her story; thank you for keeping us posted on her new journey.

    Your photos are amazing.

  12. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, and when Liz could not see it, she went on to light it herself. Love stories like this with HAPPY endings. Thanks for sharing Liz’s story with us!!!

  13. I’m thrilled that Liz is doing well and moving forward with her life after divorce. Staying in an abusive relationship, whether the abuse is mental, physical, or both, just should not be the only option a woman considers, because each of us has the potential to be so much more than what we ever think we can be. Going back to school will be a wonderful experience. Hard work, but so worth it. She’s going to meet a lot of new people of all ages and backgrounds who are, like her, looking to increase knowledge/skills and prepare for an as yet unknown but anticipated future. How exciting!

  14. What an uplifting joy it is to read this! I am so proud of “Liz!” Thank you, Brenda, for bringing everyone together for her. Yours is such a generous, loving spirit – always looking beyond your own problems to see if there’s something you can do to make life easier for another – whether human or animal! Bless you!

  15. So glad she is doing well, making plans for her future and working towards peace. It’s so good that you are remaining in touch, I’m sure it helps her knowing we are rooting for her success.