Lately I find myself turning to the color green more than any other color. I know I mention the color green and nature together quite a bit.
But there’s something else. I notice when I stare at paintings that are mostly green, or I decorate with green, or green is all around me, I feel so peaceful.
Is that a thing? Is the color green supposed to bring peace and relaxation?
Apparently it does.
I learned that the color green has healing power and is understood to be the most restful and relaxing color for the human eye to view.
Green can help enhance vision, stability and endurance. Green takes up more space in the spectrum visible to the human eye and it is the dominant color in the natural.
The color green affects us physically and mentally in several different ways, according to an article about the meaning of the color green. Green is soothing, relaxing, and youthful.
Green is a color that helps alleviate anxiety, depression, and nervousness. Green also brings with it a sense of hope, health, adventure, and renewal, as well as self-control, compassion, and harmony.
“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” – Albert Einstein
I prefer things that are natural and not man-made.
One of my favorite things to do is to drive out into the country and look for rocks to place in my garden space. Maybe what attracts me is the color, or the shape. Maybe it’s both.
There’s heft to a rock. Substance.
I’d rather choose a rock than a sparkling diamond any day of the week.
I don’t like flashy things. Bangles on my wrist (would drive me crazy) or rings on my fingers or anything around my neck.
In fact I can’t remember the last time I even wore jewelry. I don’t like wearing things that swing around or get in the way. I am not a person that dresses up much for social occasions.
I am a complete homebody.
There is no place like home, they say. Wherever home happens to be, that’s where I’m happiest.
So I suppose that’s one reason I spread a lot of green around my space. I want to relax into it like a soft puffy cloud and have it embrace me.
This is why my ex and I didn’t really sync I suppose. He loved flashy things. Cars and watches and suits and shoes. I wanted a simpler life.
Our courtship was predominantly through phone calls and letters. We lived in different states and didn’t really get to know one another in a day to day setting.
And then when we did, we found there wasn’t all that much tying us together. Yet we remained together 13 years, somehow unable or unwilling to pronounce the relationship not just dying, but already dead.
It was a dream I didn’t want to let go of until I couldn’t wait to run away.
In the beginning there was the headiness of attraction. I so wanted to feel safe with someone. I suppose because he said he loved me I thought that he could provide that safe place for me.
But what I got with him was the very opposite of safe.
Yet it didn’t start out that way. In the beginning I felt cherished. Beloved. Something I never felt before or since.
What started out as something that at least at the onset seemed beautiful turned into a Dystopian nightmare.
There is no permanence. That’s something we have to accept. Nothing lasts forever. Safe is much like a kaleidoscope. It is ever-changing.
Sometimes I like to relive that time when I felt the very opposite of what I felt in the end, just so I know it was real. One of my favorite memories was of me running through an airport looking for his face in the crowd.
He had flown in to help me move. It was in a way the beginning and at the same time the onset of the long and drawn out end.
But it was powerful and like a shiny object that catches your eye and you find that you can’t look away.
That was a long time ago, but I still remember how I felt rushing through that airport, waiting for my eyes to light on his familiar (safe) face. Maybe we see what we want to see.
The end was ugly and nothing like the shiny object that I couldn’t look away from. Still, I can recall that heady feeling, and the things that happened later don’t have to bleach the joy out of what was.
All of these things are the chapters of my life and have validity. Memories have heft too.
Like the feel of a rock in the palm of your hand.
How does it feel?(Bob Dylan, Like A Rolling Stone)
To be without a home
With no direction home?
Like a complete unknown?
Like a rolling stone?