I am itching to do something different in my apartment. I don’t know what.
I can’t paint because that would probably irritate Charlie’s lungs. So I have my eye on changing up something.
Don’t know that I will. Just trying to shift my thoughts to something I can do, and not focus on this feeling of what I can’t do.
Every herb that flowers is going into its flowering stage. The mint, the lemon balm, the salvia. Oh, and the hostas.
Some of the zinnias that I cut back are showing signs of new leaf growth. Maybe they will flower again before winter.
The tomatoes I’ve picked lately weren’t fit to eat. I never got to eat one cucumber off the cucumber plant and now it’s basically dead. Even the sweet peppers are fading away.
When I was a child we grew all kinds of vegetables and berries. There were green beans, peas, corn, radishes, carrots, onions. I can’t recall if we grew potatoes, but we probably did.
Eggs were readily available thanks to the hens.
We didn’t have a car so had to walk to the grocery store and it wasn’t close by as I recall. So there weren’t all that many trips to get groceries.
I loved eating what we grew. Such a natural way to live and sustain yourself. Just pick something from the garden or in the winter go down in the cellar and bring some jars to the kitchen.
Everything tasted so much better than canned and frozen food we eat today.
Last night I was in bed reading and heard a crash. What on earth, I thought.
I got up and Ivy had managed to knock one of the wooden cutting boards off the wall where I have them hanging. I don’t how she did that. But it sure was loud.
I found one of her favorite stuffed mice in the floor completely wet. I don’t know if she dipped it in their drinking water or what. She does often put her toys in the water bowl. I have no idea why.
Last night I made myself another veggie burger. I didn’t have a tomato from the garden, so I just added cheese and mustard and pickles. Still it was good.
I don’t really care for the “fake” chicken. But I sure do love those veggie burgers. To me the burgers taste much like a beef burger without all the fat and grease.
I didn’t make my usual cup of coffee this morning. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to fix it. I just have this feeling of inescapable inertia. Instead I drank a small glass of raspberry juice.
My mornings are busy with all the medicine I give Charlie, feeding him and Ivy, and cleaning out the litter box (I do this twice per day).
I just feel so tired lately. Which is why I don’t know if I’ll get around to changing anything in my apartment. I think about it, but that’s as far as I’ve gotten.
The heat of the summer, the UTI infection, the worry over Charlie, all these things have worn me down and I don’t have much energy left over.
Then there’s all the violence of the past week that seems to get worse and worse as time goes by.
I might not be able to get myself moving enough to actually do anything. My energy level just isn’t what it was even a few years ago. Or even a year ago. I just feel tired and wrung out. I’m sure this too shall pass.