Lately I’ve been ordering a lot of things I need from Amazon.com. Amazon Prime came with my phone package so I didn’t have to pay for it.
Last week I looked and looked for a box that an email said had been delivered. My porch is tiny. Maybe 3 feet by 3 feet. Not there. Not on the sidewalk coming up to my porch. So I called Amazon. It would be the first of many calls.
Now they have their delivery people take photos and send it to them. The woman on the other end of the phone said: “Look in the bushes.”
There are quite a few bushes on both sides of my porch. Sure enough, there was a box hidden between the bushes and my apartment. Never would have seen it had I not been looking.
Okay, problem solved.
Then I had a delivery this week. You know how they break them up into small shipments. Well, yesterday my package didn’t get delivered. When I looked online, it said they couldn’t get in. I’m assuming they meant the front gate.
That’s crazy. On my Amazon account page, I have explicit instructions how to get right to my door along with the gate code. It even says: “Don’t press pound after you enter gate code.” They said they’d catch the driver and have him/her come back at some point that day.
Naturally I was in the shower later in the day when I heard pounding on my door just on the other side of the wall. I yelled that I was in the shower, but don’t know if they heard. Charlie was barking. They pounded on the door some more.
Well you know I recently fell out of the shower so I wasn’t rushing about for fear it would happen again. I assumed they’d do the smart thing and leave the package at my door. I knew it had to be them. I very rarely have knocks on my door.
Then another emailed message: “Put in safe place.”
In the bushes? No, I looked through all the bushes. Only place left was the roof and I didn’t think it was up there.
So I placed another call to them. They said the camera was supposed to show the box, that it said it showed the box. But there was no photo showing the box.
Well if this was Catherine from Happy Valley she’d have said, “Love, you’ve got the wrong end of the stick.” (I love how she talks!)
I told them I’ve lived here 5 and a half years. This is a relatively small community. It’s not like they have more than one road to go down. And the shed out front sticks out like a sore thumb. They can’t miss that.
So after much going back and forth, they said they’d resend one item and refund my money for the other two items. I told them to please get in touch with their delivery men/women (they have they own delivery people now) and explain that they don’t need to ring the doorbell or hide my package.
I live at the end and my door faces the alley fence. Just put my package at the door please. I even put that on my account so it would be clear.
Right as I’m writing this, I get a call from the front office. They tell me a neighbor has my package. They give me her phone number. The neighbor told them she tried to catch me home twice yesterday. I never went out yesterday. Oh well. So I walk down two doors to get it.
Apparently her Amazon deliveries are all messed up too. This is a community with a lot of older folks and we order on Amazon so we don’t have to drive to the store and then carry things that are heavy.
When I walk out my door there is a van with two people in it staring at me. Right on my wall by the door facing the parking lot is my apartment number. So I figure they’re here for something else. Possibly a delivery for maintenance and they usually deliver to the shed out front.
I walk two doors down and the van drives aimlessly around the complex, which isn’t a vast space or anything. Finally as they’re passing by I motion to them and they pull over. I ask what they’re looking for and they say my apartment number and one other.
This is a box with potting soil and a bit heavy so I have him walk it down to my porch. I tell them the other person they’re looking for lives in one of several three bedroom apartments and they’re down at the end.
So now it’s figured out, for today anyway.
Catherine would say something like: “Bloody bloke couldn’t find the nose on his face.”