Last night I was thinking about people who used to be in my life. How at one point they were so much a part of my life. And then suddenly life changed and I never saw them again.
I’m sure you probably sometimes do that. Go back and revisit old friendships or flames.
I don’t lament those relationships. I believe that some people are merely passing through your life and for whatever reason are not meant to be there at the end.
For instance, divorce. I was good friends with my second husband. But once we divorced I saw him only twice. There was no acrimony between us. We just drifted our separate ways and lived in different places.
What I remember most about him: He could play most any instrument. He could never really grow up because his parents were always there to fix things for him. But he was a nice guy, a calm and peaceful man.
My first husband, the father of my girls, I haven’t seen since his mother died and I went to be there with her in 2006.
I see him in Facebook photos my daughters put up when he comes to town to visit them.
What I remember most about him: I remember he never really laughed. There was a sadness about him that never quite went away. It was as though he was defeated before he ever began.
I wanted to remain friends with him because of our daughters. But his new wife was very jealous and didn’t want anyone else near him.
Well, that’s hard to do when you have two children together. I recall he and I sat together at their high school graduations. Because she wasn’t in the picture back then. It seemed like the normal thing to do.
And then my third husband is dead.
What I remember most about him: He was manipulative and drank too much. He was a great actor, because I didn’t see through him for a very long time. What I remember most is being fooled by him.
I told someone the other day that I could probably walk into a stadium chock full of men and manage to walk out with either an alcoholic and/or a jerk.
I am naive in many ways. I believe what people tell me. I try too hard to see the good in people, even if there isn’t much there to see. I don’t seem to have the proper radar to read people. I have social deficits and don’t always understand my role or what people mean.
I prefer animals. Because what you see is what you get. They love you unconditionally and are always glad to see you. And there are never hidden motives or an agenda beyond being fed and loved.
Anyway, back to people no longer in your life.
I think back to friendships when my kids were little. When they were in grade school. When I was in college. I don’t know if those people I was friends with are dead or alive. But we were a big part of each other’s lives for a time. We were important to one another.
That person would be the first person I called when something of consequence happened. For whatever reason. Whether they hurt me or I hurt them or things just faded into nothingness.
I realize as we walk down the path of life we often change. And sometimes we change a lot. We probably wouldn’t be friends today anyway because we’d probably have nothing in common.
Such is life. Just remember that some people come into your life and are there to the very end. And others are just passing through and disappear into the ether.
But for whatever reason, they were a part of your life until they weren’t.
“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.