A Quiet Morning & What The Vet Said

The patio looks sad. The zinnias are dead, as are many other plants. Still showing a bit of life are the petunias and eucalyptus. And of course the herbs. Herbs are pretty hardy.

The hyacinth bean vine seeds I planted didn’t even make it to the point of forming bean pods. I was hoping I’d get some beans so I’d have them to plant next spring. But an early winter surprised us all.

I guess I need to go out and do a bit of maintenance, cut off the dead parts of the withering plants. But I just don’t have it in me right now.

I’m doing a load of laundry. Listening to the machine go through its cycles.

The sunshine coming in is bright but it’s cold outside.

Ivy has been on her best behavior this weekend. She quietly plays with her toys and occasionally comes to lay on the table next to my chair so I will pet her.

Friday Charlie wasn’t supposed to go to an acupuncture appointment, but I called and talked to the vet and she said to bring him in and leave him for a bit. That they’d call me when they had him feeling better.

I took that opportunity to run some errands, as I don’t like to leave him much.

When I went back to pick him up, I told her that I was having a hard time doing his land therapy at home because my back was giving me problems and it was hard to get up once I got down on the floor.

She told me that the team had gotten together for a meeting and decided that I should just enjoy Charlie now and not worry too much about all the other stuff at home.

She said: “This is bonus time.”

I asked her what that meant.

She said she never thought Charlie would make it this long and that he had been doing well with the acupuncture. And that I should spend this time just loving and enjoy being with him.

Of course those words pierced my heart. I try not to get upset in front of Charlie, so I put on a brave face.

It is inevitable I know.

I hear him cough and choke and there’s not much I can do beyond give him the hydrocodone syrup. Be there with him. Give him his meds and feed him and tend to him.

And savor the time we have left. Whatever that may be.

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51 Comments

  1. Oh, Brenda, I have tears for you, too as I’m reading your post and all the comments. I am so, so sad for you.

  2. He’s just the sweetest and I’m so sorry your appointment was not a happy one. No one really knows what will happen or when, so I say one day at a time, love, laugher, tons of squeezes and together time. There’s no better medication those things. Hugs my friend…

  3. What a step forward for you! My suggestion is to cry and be authentic. Do not block your emotions. When you stop sadness you stop joy. Your animals know how you feel. Be especially nice to yourself.

  4. Like all of your friends here on your blog, my heart is saddened to hear that Charlie’s time with you may be shorter than you would like. But remember that Charlie is a blessed little dog to have a Mom who loves him so well and takes such good care of him. His life has been good with you so spend this time remembering all the good days and funny things he has done and love him up real good. Both of you will be blessed and find peace. Hugs to the three of you.

  5. Oh, Brenda, I’m so sorry to hear your sad news. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, from the happy to the really sad stories. All 3 of you are in my thoughts.

  6. So very sorry to hear you are going through this sad time again. Many of us know that pain too well. Charlie is a very lucky pup to have you taking care of him. You certainly have gone above and beyond to help him. Take good care

  7. Gosh – life is a treasure. We just went through this with my elderly aunt whom lives a long way from us (think the top of Australia and we are at the bottom with a 3.5 hour plane trip in between). Her only daughter died four years ago from Cancer and she had 14 dogs at the time. My aunt kept one of them, not that you have a favourite child but this was my cousin’s favourite. Little snooky had to be laid to rest last month and poor Aunty is very lonely. She is 82 yrs old so not easily able to get around. She did treasure those times together though and takes comfort from that.

  8. I am so sorry, Brenda What a sweet boy he is and he knows you love him and want what’s best for him As hard as those words were to hear, it’s wonderful that your vet was honest with you and didn’t cause you unnecessary expense, stress and undue hardship for Charlie by continuing the ineffective therapy. I’m glad you get a little more quality time with him, uninterrupted by therapy visits. Hugs to you and your sweet boy.

  9. So sorry to hear this. You and Charlie have such a close bond. Treasure the time you have together.♡

  10. Oh, Brenda, I am so sorry to read about Charlie. You are such a wonderful gift to Charlie, and vice versa. I’ll be thinking about all 3 of you.

  11. Brenda, I don’t always comment but have followed you for years and you’re the first blog I read each day and all the comments.you, Abbie, Charlie and now Ivy are always in my prayers. I to am so heartbroken for you and have tears running down my face as I type this. All the heartfelt comments from these wonderful Ladies expresses perfectly my own thoughts and feelings… again I am so very, very sorry…. God Bless you, your precious little Charlie and Ivy..

    Debbi Saunders

  12. I’m so sorry, Brenda. My mom’s little pup (a Pomeranian) had the same choking and coughing problems as Charlie. She passed away this past spring and my mom has been so heartbroken. I know how much your heart is breaking…

    Don’t worry about your plants or anything else that can wait. Just take good care of yourself and Charlie.

  13. Brenda, I know that anticipating having to let Charlie go is just excruciatingly painful. Know that I am thinking about you in this time of sadness. I hope you will be able to enjoy to some extent the time you have left with Charlie and experience the gratitude I know you have for getting to be his Mama.

    I will be thinking of you going through this time and wish you peace in your heart as you spend time with sweet Charlie.

  14. You, Charlie, and Ivy will be in my thoughts and prayers. I am so sorry. But what an absolutely wonderful life you and Charlie have shared.

  15. My loving thoughts and sympathy for what you are going through now. My 4 dogs all lived happy, long lives like your boy has. Calm quiet days ahead for all of you….

  16. Brenda ~ my heart and thoughts are with you. Hard words to hear; probably hard for the vet to say, too. To paraphrase a song from “Camelot” ~ simply love him, love him, love him.
    Hugs ~

  17. Brenda, you and Charlie share one of those very special bonds. I know he and Abby got you through your move to OK and were/are your constant companions. Charlie feels all of your love. He trusts you to do what’s best for him. I believe Ivy knows what’s happening and that’s why she doesn’t antagonize him. If he enjoys his hard boiled egg each day, would you consider giving him a second one at his other meal time? He might like cottage cheese as well.
    Thoughts and prayers to all of you.

  18. My heart breaks for you Brenda! Charlie, Ivy and you will be in my prayers! Tears are streaming down my face as I’m getting ready to send this message to you! Take care of yourself and keep Charlie closer!

  19. All three of ours cats who have passed have come back to visit us. Cats and dogs are God’s creatures and have special talents in life and afterwards. When Charlie goes, and I hope it is not soon, he will still be there. He will still come to see you and love you.

  20. I am so very sorry I will pray for you and sweet Charlie !
    I went thru this in Feb.with my precious MALLORY !
    It is so very hard and especially you and I with our other health problems with our backs,make it even worse .
    It makes it double hard .
    Make each day count .
    I think IVY realizes that something is going on with Charlie.
    That may be why she is quiet.
    You must get lots of rest and be strong .
    Again I am so sorry .I have not replaced Mallory I don’t feel at my age I can take care of another sweet baby .We only have the Cat .
    I am sure you also are feeling a loss knowing your friend NATHAN is leaving also .Be kind to yourself !
    Winters are hard also and holidays when we are so confined .Especially with cold and snow Winters .I am dreading that .
    God bless you in your sorrow I think of you every day .
    Hugs to you and Charlie !

  21. Well, Brenda, I hope it will comfort you that you did what few folks or vets ever do a dog!! That won’t change what comes…but maybe it will bring peace knowing you did all humanly possible!! I do believe dogs are in the next life…the ones we had here…keep focused on that too!! Sending hugs…I know it is very hard!! Take care of yourself too!!

  22. how in the world could anyone not love that tiny face! and I agree with Kris and Impy and so many others. it’s your own LOVE that keeps him going!
    bless you Brenda. and bless your beloved tiny Charlie Ross. XO

  23. So sorry to hear the sad diagnosis about your precious Charlie. May you and he keep on enjoying each day. He and you will always be in a loving relationship. Carpe Diem.

  24. Oh Brenda, i am sorry to hear of this. I know what he means to you. It hurts so much knowing we can only have them for such a short time in our life. He has been your rock for years now. I am happy that you brought Ivy into the mix and she fills her days with many shenanigans. Just keep that sweet boy close.

  25. I so feel everything Impy has posted. I knew sooner or later, as you know also, that the sad words would come. I do know that Charlie is one of the lucky dogs, I know not another person could love him as much as you do. I have tears in my eyes as I write this, and pray you have more days to love each other. You both are in my prayers.

  26. Awww Brenda I am so sorry. Just remember this story from me about Cooper. He was our rescue basset hound that was the best dog ever. Then he got that aggressive cancer and only had maybe a month or two. Then our Vet tried the experimental medication that was showing promise to now cure the cancer but give them more time. They only predicted at the most 6months with the medication. Cooper leaved another year and no other dogs in the study lived past three months on the drug. The Vet said it was because we rescued him and loved him like no other person ever did and his will to live and how happy and loved he was gave him that extra time. So remember this with Charlie. He loves you so much and does not want to leave as much as you do not want him to go. So the love and attention you give him will give him those extra endorphins that love produce to help him to continue on. Sorry the Vet was so blunt but I guess it is better they be honest then not tell you. Just keep loving him.
    Kris

  27. I am very sorry to hear this. I l ou st my 16 year old Miniature Schnauzer 2 weeks ago, and am heartbroken. I just enjoyed my last few months, weeks, and loved her.
    I will pray for you, as others pray for me. Kathy

  28. Sometimes love hurts. You’ve given and been given unselfish love. May your & Charlie’s pain be eased and that you are both granted gentle rest and peace. Barb

  29. Brenda, I care.
    The struggle is real and so is God
    May you and Charlie be in the moment with comfort & peace.❤️
    Also, Little Ivy as she understands this difficult time.
    ???

    1. I am sorry…having pets is so difficult because they do not live as long as we do. I think it hurts more when they leave us. Hug him…love him..take a zillion pictures..and just enjoy him! Appreciate each moment.

  30. Last January I took my beloved cocker spaniel to be put to sleep. On my own. He’s loved by my husband and kids as much but I felt the need to spare them. He had congestive heart failure and we got bonus months totaling 5 months. I know personally about the coughing and the many trips outside. He was such a good boy. Then the days he was quieter and I wanted to keep going. At some point I realized I was dragging it out for me, and he was paying the price. I am still heart broken but as you know with your girl, the days at some point are more survivable. I wear a curl of his hair in a locket around my neck to this day. I kiss the locket daily. Brenda I know how it feels and I am so sorry. You will know when the balance tips to it being harder for him to stay with you than it should be. Your pups are so darn lucky to have had the mom they do. And I know it’s too soon but I hope another lucky pup finds it’s way to you and Ivy someday. I can only imagine Ivy. Charlie has taught her to belong to a “pack”. She will look for that. A companion while you’re out. A rescue pup found its way to me. A senior chocolate lab with a gray muzzle weighing 113lbs. His dad had to go into a home and it was me or the pound. I think my cocker arranged it from above. What a sweet soul I have to click clack across the floors now. I know I will lose him much sooner than I would have a puppy. I didn’t think I’d ever choose to love and lose again. He changed my mind. As long as I live, I will give the love I have to the pups that come into my life. I hope you can too. The ones we lose, send us the ones that need us. I love your little family and all you share with us. I look forward to it daily and it changes my life for the better. You are an amazing lady. I’m blessed to know you even from afar. Hugs, Impy

  31. Everyone has stated my thoughts so beautifully and I so understand where you are. Just talk to him and continue to give him all the love in the world. You’ve provided a wonderful, loving home all these years and he knows that. Sending you strength, peace and love.

  32. Know that was heartbreaking to hear those words even though you sort of already knew. I hope he has much more time with you and he has been so blessed to have such a loving way of life and I know you never give up making him comfortable. He is adorable. Peace and love to you both.

  33. I know your heart is aching and mine is aching for you also. I talked to my Romeo a lot the last days of his life and told him what a wonderful dog he was and how much I loved him. I believe in a hereafter so I told him I would be joining him soon and that I would always love him. So give that precious boy lots of love and attention and savor the moments you still have together.

  34. I’m so sorry my friend, I know exactly how you feel. Poor sweet Charlie, just cuddle him and love him and cherish this time with him. My heart breaks for you having to think about this again. Xo

  35. Your love for Charlie is a blessing for him; he is being cared for by the person who loves him the most in this world. You are doing all you can, and more.
    Try to keep your spirits up and try not to be down through this time. I know, and understand.
    Try to take care of yourself, as well.
    Sending Love and prayers your way.

  36. I know this is hard for you and I am full of compassion for you and Charlie. You and he have given so much love to each other over the years. I pray for peaceful, pain-free time for both of you.

  37. Heartbreaking, but inevitable news as our little loved ones grow older. Enjoy the sweet boy and gather memories. I’m crying as I type this. My little Dixie, my 13 year old yorkie, has heart problems and is blind and the future looks similar. Best wishes to you.

  38. Those are tough words to hear. I’ve been there and I know how badly it hurts. Console yourself that Charlie has had an amazing life…and will continue to do so. Enjoy him. Spoil him. And be kind to yourself.

  39. Sending prayers and love your way… Charlie and you are so lucky to have each other… Give him all the love you have and cherish these days…

  40. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this again. Take their advice and enjoy your time with him.

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