Yesterday Ivy climbed into my chair where she balanced her long body both on the side of the chair and in my lap. She is not a lap cat. Nor does she like to be held or picked up.
This was a bit strange, the length of time she stayed put. Two or three times she caught my attention and stared right into my eyes for a period of time.
It was as though she was trying to convey something to me. I felt this odd feeling I couldn’t explain. An instinctive feeling that this was not a common moment in time.
Later in the day she managed to find a long scarf I had taken out of the closet and put up on the sideboard. I don’t know how she figures out that one thing is different, but she always just knows.
Last night in the middle of the night when I was in the bathroom, I saw in the shadows Ivy dragging something. Looked like toilet paper, but she was coming from the hall, so that didn’t seem likely.
Then I realized it was that probably four foot scarf. She would pick the end up in her mouth and drag it around, walking with it a bit awkwardly because it kept getting in between her legs and tripping her up.
This morning I put it up high again but she managed to get to it. It’s like Ivy’s security blanket. It is now hers and I’m sure she’ll put it in her box of toys where all manner of other strange things often go.
I needed that bit of fun and laughter Ivy provided. I am tired. Lately there are times that I just break down and cry because I am so tired from being up much of the night with Charlie.
I don’t know which will break first, my stamina or my heart.
Charlie seems happy. He has always been a good and happy dog. Never been any trouble at all. It is heartbreaking watching him go through this.
It’s been getting worse for about a year now. That was when the vet first prescribed the hydrocodone syrup.
I wonder if all the coughing makes his heart worse? Or if his heart is causing all the coughing?
I have an appointment tomorrow afternoon with his regular vet Dr. Poteet. The other vets wanted him to check Charlie’s heart because he is his primary doctor.
Still I wonder what Ivy was trying to tell me. She was too intent to merely be staring into my eyes. This was different somehow.
There are some things you just know but can’t explain.