Life

Incomprehensible

It’s just flat cold out there and I doubt that I’ll go anywhere today. Only thing I did yesterday was take Charlie to acupuncture and pick him up.

At least the sun is shining.

I enjoy watching the shadows of the tree branches against the bleached out wood privacy fence. I wonder if Ivy has noticed those shadows yet?

Speaking of Ivy, yesterday I let Charlie out and left the door open for just a minute while I rushed to the bedroom to get something. I never just leave him out there. When I came back Ivy was standing on the step of the patio just outside the door.

Birds were chirping in the tree. I suppose the chirping lured her out there because she’s never done that before. I told her to come in and she happily walked right back inside.

Oh, my kitchen is in upheaval. I hate that. I haven’t done a bit of painting. I’m kind of at a crossroads, not sure what I want to start painting yet. I’m afraid to get started and then have my ankle wear out on me and have to stop in the middle of something.

I still haven’t ordered peel and stick tiles or the drawer pulls yet. I’m still looking around on Pinterest to see if there’s some other idea that just hits me right between the eyes and says THIS IS IT!

I’ve never tried to decorate with whites. And I’m certainly not trying to be minimalist. I’ve just learned that when last getting furniture for the living room I got neutrals and I’ve had fun adding various colors and changing them out. I have more options.

In a small space home, a lot of color gets very busy very fast (as you’ve seen in earlier photos of my kitchen) and then you’re stuck with it. Best to have more of a bland background and then add color and be able to change them out.

I was never into the gray phase so many decorators and bloggers loved. When I think of gray what comes to mind is a gray dreary winter day.

I’ve wondered if removable wallpaper might be better for the cabinet doors, as the doors are old and pretty beat up. The drawers I don’t use won’t open or close properly. Which is one reason I don’t bother using them.

I hate painting. I’m no good at it. I make a complete mess no matter how careful I try to be.

I’m on Season 3 of “Wire In The Blood” on Acorn TV. A couple of episodes ago it was noted by a neurologist that Dr. Tony Hill has Asperger’s.

That wasn’t too hard to figure out actually. He is extremely good at what he does yet socially he’s downright awkward. He blurts out things when a thought occurs to him, and he shies away from anyone touching him or showing him affection.

In some ways having Asperger’s is like being trapped in your body watching everyone around you seem relaxed, and your brain just won’t tell you how to engage. So you shun people and stay to yourself because it’s really the only way you’re truly comfortable.

I like being alone. I have no trouble entertaining myself.

It’s not sad or unfortunate really. It’s just the way your brain works and it’s all you know.

All my life I’ve stood to the side and watched groups of people talk and laugh and they seem quite comfortable doing so. Meanwhile I’m over there trying to blend into the background.

Because what they’re doing over there in the group seems a bit incomprehensible, yet I can’t stop watching their ease. They seem so relaxed.

But there are many flowers in the garden of life. Some flowers thrive in groups and others winnow their way up through the cracks in the sidewalk.

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15 Comments

  1. Hi Brenda, If your finances can help you to find someone to do the work for you it may be the best way to go. Your health, strength & Chaos that is occurring is very stressful. I do hope you are able to not look at What you want done immediately. Please try to have patience and your answer will come at the right time. Please try to not force what you’re wanting done. It will be done & we want you to be healthy to take care of our dear friend that’s you Brenda
    Then relax and enjoy the stunning change,
    .Wishing you moments of peace and patience.
    Puppy kisses to ChatlieBoy & Miss Ivy ?❤️?? they have the greatest
    Mommy?

  2. I wa thinking when you said you might paint etc. Are you still in touch with Nathan? You two seemed to be helpful to each other. He might be willing to help with the counter etc, and as you said previously yo paid him, it could be a win/win for both of you. Also, you wouldn’t have to have a stranger in the house to upset everyone. I’m sure it will look just a good as everything else you do.

  3. It’s very cold here right now, too. Minus 6 with the wind chill factor. I shoveled my driveway, porch and sidewalk this morning and then was out most of the day with my mom. We just bundled up and were fine. Guess when you live in the Midwest, you just grin and bare it and do what you have to do cuz there’s not much choice.

    Give yourself time to think about what you want to do with your kitchen. There’s no hurry. Keep looking at Pinterest and in your magazines and books to see what you’re really drawn to. Whatever you come up with, I know it will look great.

    1. I am laughing at myself so hard right now…I just read my comment after it was published and realized I wrote “bare” it instead of “bear” it. Trust me – we were not baring anything in this weather! ha ha

  4. I am very fuzzy-headed today. Had trouble going to sleep last night. Had to get up and take some Melatonin, then slept too late this morning. I hate days like this. All I want to do is take a nap, but if I do I won’t go to sleep tonight either. Why did I tell you that? Because I was trying to organize my tho’ts regarding your kitchen re-do and found I just couldn’t process what you wrote! Today, I have no idea what you should do! But I know you will figure it out and probably best to focus on something else for a day or so. But that’s just advice from someone who’s foggy brain may not be trustworthy!

    Perhaps tomorrow I’ll have a great idea for you!

  5. Hi Brenda,
    I don’t think your heart is ready to commit to change in your kitchen. I love the cutting board/countertop design and reworking your accessories. I love that quilt you have in your living room . Great colors, it makes me smile everytime you feature it in your photos. I think all of us are ready for spring to come early this year.
    Regarding that insensitive store clerk; I once scoffed at a relative’s doing special meal prep for her dog. I only had cats and was totally ignorant of having a dog. Then we adopted a French Brittany puppy at 5 weeks old! My husband wanted a dog and his friend’s momma dog had so many puppies she couldn’t keep up with nursing them! Well; the UNIVERSE totally tilted! Feeding him pablum and teaching potty training is like having a child with four legs. I once had a repairman comment; “Whatever you are making for dinner smells amazing.” My husband drolly replied that is the dog’s food! During his lifetime, I spent an obscene amount of money on his care and joyfully! Your pet babies are truly blessed!
    Have a inspired and fruitful day
    Susan

  6. I was just at HomeGoods and saw a beautiful display of colorful door pulls. Lots of jewel tones which would seem to fit your current boho style.
    Hope Ivy Lou never ventures over the fence! She is so precious. Of course Charlie is too!

  7. I was just thinking what the last commenter said…often people aren’t at ease. Everyone is dealing with stuff and often we see them putting on a good face. I’m an introvert with some social anxiety, and while I may look comfortable in social settings, that’s often NOT the case. I just do it anyway.
    I understand about the neutrals…that is the reason I use them…I can put any color in the decor that I want and it works. I use a lot of gray, but for me cloudy winter days are cozy, not dreary (my husband is the exact opposite lol). Isn’t it funny how different we all are? I guess that’s why we all make our place, OUR home.

    1. I am the same way, Linda – an introvert with some social anxiety! I’m (mostly) fine with my friends and family, but get me in a big group and I’m super uncomfortable, especially if I don’t know anyone. Yes, we just do it anyway.

  8. I’ve never been fond of that gray trend either. It reminds me of cold winter days, so no thanks and I have tried to embrace a whiter, lighter look lately. Unfortunately it doesn’t sit well with me either. I’m drawn to color and that’s that…trendy or not, I don’t think I could decorate any other way. I have to enjoy the look of my surroundings and without color, the rooms just feel cold. I guess it’d be like sitting in a garden with all white flowers….hmmm. And trust me, those people in the crowd aren’t alway as at ease as they appear. They may just be better at faking it. 😉

  9. In the past I’ve wallpapered my refrigerator (it lasted for years), interior doors, backsplashes and pantry countertops (covered with polyurethane). I only polyurethaned the countertops because I thought they would need to be washed down on a regular basis. In my opinion wallpaper is extremely durable and adds a quirky touch to your decorating.

  10. Look at little Ivy being so adventurous!! My sweetie brings his kitty outside sometimes, on the front porch or the back patio. He never leaves her out there, he keeps an eye on her, for fear some animal will come along.

    I’m also quite happy with my alone time….I guess that’s why Sweetie and I still maintain separate homes. We have dinner together most nights, but then he goes home and I settle in with the pups for a quiet evening. Works for us!

  11. Hi Brenda,
    Oh little Ivy stepping outside to see the world up close and personal beyond the glass door. She is so inquisitive and curious good thing she did not go further. I think the peel and stick wallpaper is a good choice. There are a lot of patterns now with it being so popular. I love the whites because you can change things up with adding whatever color you like. I am adding blues to my whites right now and loving it. I am a neutral girl but I am surprising myself with adding color and loving it. I know whatever you decide will look great. I am done with my refrigerator surround but still am trying to figure out my refrigerator. Painted it white and it looks great but now I feel it needs something. So I have been looking at rub on transfers or maybe peel and stick wallpaper. I am stuck too on what to do. Hope you figure it out.
    Kris