Learn To Make Yourself Happy

Yesterday on the spur of the moment my oldest daughter and I went out for a brunch/lunch at a nice restaurant. That was the first time it was just her and me in a long time.

She came back to my place and took a look at the countertop. I don’t know if she will be able to fill in the hairline cracks around the sink. The epoxy is too slick to get anything to adhere to.

But I’ve made my peace with the imperfections, as I mentioned the other day. No use dwelling on it. I’m just going to appreciate what she and I were able to do to change my little kitchen.

When my refrigerator comes Thursday hopefully I will have the peel and stick tiles up on the backsplash.

I’m still not using the countertops. But yesterday we did get the new drawer and door pulls put on.

My daughter deals with much bigger stuff than countertop problems every day. She has two rent houses and then she both flips houses and sells real estate. There’s always something that doesn’t show up until the last minute and then she has to deal with.

That would make me a nervous wreck. I guess that’s why she is so stressed out.

The repairs are typically quite costly. Now she’s having to deal with putting two new French drains in on properties. She says it’s always something. That her phone rings constantly and she rarely has any time for herself.

I worry about her. Selling real estate is enough to deal with. But then flipping houses, dealing with rentals and raising two kids stretches her to the max.

Makes me feel so lucky that I have my little apartment and pet babies and write a blog.

It doesn’t matter how much money you make if you seldom have any time to enjoy it.

I think we women burn the candle at both ends until we finally realize that time and the life we have is indefinite.

That hit me in my fifties. It was then that I learned to take time for me and to take care of me.

Never wait for others to send you flowers or bring you chocolates.

Don’t wait for someone else to make you smile. Same with laughter. There’s so many things we can do for ourselves. I wonder now why I didn’t figure this all out much earlier in life.

First and foremost, no one can make you happy.

When you’re young and naive you might think a man will come along and plant happiness at your feet and make it grow.

No, happiness is something that only comes from within. We have to water and nurture our own little gardens of happiness.


  1. I totally believe on doing for yourself – spoiling yourself not waiting for a man to do it. I grew up with a wonderful father – one that sent me flowers for valentines and birthdays. One that would surprise me with a antique diamond ring. (he was a savvy bargain shopper and would find in various ways) I lost my father when I was 40. My whole life I expected a man to treat me as my father had. They never did. I gave up on that notion shortly after my father’s death when the two boyfriends I had after that were the worst ever. Now I don’t even think of such nonsense. I make my own happiness. I always have but I used to think someone would come along and things would be even better. But they would come along and things would be great for a short time…then they’d start tearing down everything I’ve built. This has even happened to me at work with bosses. I am done. Done with letting others effect my life. Anyway….I appreciate your suggestion of the countertops. I have bee keeping up to date with your kitchen redo…and can’t wait to see it! Oh…I need to do a complete blog overhaul. Who is your’s done through?

  2. Here’s a little quote from a teabag tag that I have sitting on the window sill over my kitchen sink: “Happiness is actually an art of living which is in us.” This reminds me that each of us is responsible for our own happiness and that finding it is an innate talent. We just have to focus inwardly and take notice of how we feel about the circumstances of our lives and the possibilities for improving or changing those circumstances or our attitude toward them. I will be the first to admit that this is not easy in the world we live in but I am encouraged to think that each of us does have the inbred capability to create our own happiness. That idea gives me hope.

    May you, Brenda, and all of us continue to create our own peaceful, happy life.

    Love and pats to you and the furry ones.

  3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I use to think I had to keep a perfect house, but I sure have relaxed about that in the past couple of years as I have had to deal with heart problems. Now, if I get one or two small jobs done a day, I’m perfectly happy. Life is way too short. Love yourself, love others and enjoy every second like it’s your last. I’ve never been happier.

  4. I’m learning this every day. It isn’t easy. Please continue encouraging women to live their best life now.
    Today was the first of your emails to come thru ! Thank you!

  5. I’m glad you’re not letting the imperfections ruin your renovation! Nothing is ever perfect! We just spent quite a bit on our kitchen, and I can show you many little imperfections in the countertop, the exhaust fan, and so forth. That being said, take a close up of those little cracks and show us what you’re talking about. It’s hard to imagine.

  6. Good for you in making peace with the less than perfect countertop project. As my beloved grandmother would often say “no use in crying over spilled milk – it is what it is”. So true but not always easy (at least for me) to emulate. Hopefully when everything is completed the minor imperfections will not be that noticeable.

  7. Too many women believe that happiness comes form someone else. Happiness can only come from within. So happy you and your daughter are getting to spend more time together. Great post. xo Laura

  8. As Pat said I also have learned to live my best life since my husband passed away four years ago. Before that I didn’t even know who I was as a person. I was a wife and mother and I dedicated everything and every day to those rolls never doing what I wanted, always pleasing them ! Now I do whatever I want, buy whatever I want, eat whatever I want and It feels so good! I’m 72 and feel it’s about time !!

  9. Maybe you will be able to hide some of the flaws in the epoxy finish around the sink – after everything has all settled down – by putting a clear epoxy coat over the area. Because it’s so liquidyand flowy, it could fill in the hairline cracks you see. Maybe multiple thin coats being careful not to over brush or over roll. Just for information, I also watched a video at Youtube yesterday after one of the more expensive epoxy finish kits that are on the market. They make it look so easy to do, of course, but one thing they did that would scare me to death is using a blow torch after application and before the epoxy sets up to remove air bubbles that rise to the surface. They skim it over the surface from side to side and you can literally see tiny bubbles going pop pop pop and disappearing. Yikes! I may just stick to trying painting the cabinets with a faux marble or granite-look finish and using marine varnish to finish instead of epoxy. We’ll see. I may not get around to doing that until I decide to sell the house and move into senior housing (hopefully several years from now).

  10. I learned that lesson when I hit 40, when I realized I couldn’t change my then husband and I had to take care of myself. That was the end of my marriage. Now I find simple pleasures every single day, even if it’s nothing more than a good meal with soft music and a candle burning.

  11. Great post,great quotes,saved them to my Pinterest.
    Strange as this may sound,I have learned to live my best life since my husband passed,I do what I want,live my lifestyle my way,simple just me and my kitties,90% of the time.
    Turned 65 last September and it truly has become my best days!

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