Just What Is It With You People?

Yesterday I wrote my post and headed out to pick up lunch for my daughter Kasi who just had her second hand surgery this past week.

Then I came home to a mix of comments. Some respectful. Some not.

If you are one of the people who left a snarky comment, can you not read and understand the caveat above every comment section of every post I write? It clearly asks that you not bring your negativity to the discussion.

I just can’t imagine what could anger you about any mention of the coronavirus. It has killed so many people. An unimaginable amount of people.

Sadness I can understand. But for some of you it seems to be an inconvenience and you obviously don’t want to hear or read about it.

How can you be so dismissive of such a tragedy? Or do you think it’s merely some bizarre conspiracy theory?

What is wrong with you?

If you can’t have an open mind and understand that “the woman with the suitcase” was not really about her, but a metaphorical statement about the times we currently live in, then you just don’t get the point.

There are mainly very respectful and kind people who read and comment on this blog. And those are the people I write for.

What motivates the rest of you to leave a comment at all?

Did your mother not teach you that if you have nothing kind to say, then don’t say it?

From now on, if something I write pisses you off, email me and let’s talk one on one. Don’t attempt to leave your negativity in the comments and taint the discussion for others. Because it won’t be there.

I’m going to moderate comments so you will be talking directly to me before your comment is published.

It’s a pain in the ass to have to approve every comment due to a few bad apples, but I’m no longer going to let you mean spirited people in. I’ve had enough.

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51 Comments

  1. Just came upon this via Pinterest and admire this so much. I wish there were more of this, because I can’t believe some of the mean things from people’s mouths, which leads me to believe they are so unhappy with themselves or really never taught kindness, either way we do NOT have to put up with any of the negative shit people dish out, and for zero reason. Good for you!!!

  2. I’m so glad for your comments today – it really needed to be said, heard, and listened to. I love your blog…….and I love your new hair do !!!

  3. Hello,
    I’m sorry to hear about the negative comments you received. Your post was thought provoking so much so that thoughout my day yesterday (as I gardened, ate dinner with my husband and went about my normal routine ) I had the “woman with the suitcase” in the back of my mind. How easy it is for all of us to get caught up in the smallness of our own lives. I simply wanted to take a moment and say thank you. For your insightfulness, for a gentle reminder that we all could be that woman. For the further reminder to take a step back and really see what’s right in front of all of us. The “suitcase woman” was the first blog post that I have read from you, it will stick with me for a very long time.
    While you got idiotic comments please know that you also have new followers. Myself being one
    Kind regards,
    Jennifer

  4. I do not understand the world we are living in today. What I do understand is that I look forward to your blog every day. I enjoy your writing and thoughtful post. Please keep doing what you’re doing as there are so many people who enjoy visiting here. It’s a bright spot in my day.

  5. Just want to convey my support and let you know that I value your insights and views. I not only enjoy your blog for the ideas I gain but also for the relaxation I receive from the nature, pet, and decorating photos. Thank you for your contribution to my life. When I visit your blog I feel I am spending time with a dear friend.

  6. I am slow to figure things out for sure.

    I am just now realizing that the coronavirus/mask wearing “topic” is going to have to be like religion and politics- just not brought up.

    I did not have any idea how fired up people are on this subject.

    That’s how I am going to have look at it.

    Mo

  7. I so enjoyed your thoughts about the woman with the suitcase. You often write about subjects that cause us to think and thank you for that. Also want to let you know that I have added some blue, lavender and purple in our garden this year. Perhaps because we are staying home so much our garden is the best ever. Blessings to you, Carolyn

  8. Well said! Thank you for putting this out there. Enough is enough of the mean spirited behavior – it’s what brought us to where we are today and you’ve just taken a step to curb that behavior. We could all stop being so dang nice and tolerant and put a stop to the negative that sucks the air out of a perfectly nice day. Good for you, Brenda!

  9. I’m sorry Brenda! I love reading your blog. I can’t imagine being critical about anything you write about!

  10. I’m sorry you chose not to publish my comment earlier today. I was just pointing out that from the title today til the end was on the mean side. It was fun following you for 8 years.

  11. Love today’s title! Your writing about the suitcase lady made me think. That’s what good writing does. Maybe the snarky comments came from people who aren’t comfortable with being urged to step outside their mental comfort zones. Keep up the good work!

  12. Sorry you had to deal with that reaction. It is one of the main reasons I no longer blog. You are brave to do it. I always view people’s blogs as coming into their space for a conversation. Who would show up at your house for a chat and then start insulting you??? But, people feel the need to do it online. 🙁 I enjoy reading your perspectives and seeing your photos!

  13. Dear Brenda,
    I don’t turn on my computer every day; because of the headlines and negativity. I love reading your posts and I am sorry that people can’t let you share and muse without getting affronted. I wish we could return to the society of my parents; of course they had their opinions and they disagreed with one another. But it wasn’t a matter of life or death. They had polite ways and modeled it every day!
    Your story of the bookcase is very spot on. A number of years ago; I remodeled my downstairs and decided to put in a faux library for myself. I bought six bookcases from Ikea. I had a few contractors come and give me bids for built ins. The lowest bid was 4000.00!!!!! After recovering from sticker shock; I researched k/d kit furniture and decided on Ikea. Drove up to Renton, Washington purchased them and brought them home. They were too heavy for my husband and I to lift and carry in from our Ford Excursion. So, I opened the first box and proceeded to hand carry the various pieces in. When assembling them; I read the instructions and laid out all the hardware and put the pieces together before finally putting them together. I get the part about the instructions; all this furniture comes from foreign countries and English is NOT their first language! Anyway, it took us three days to assemble all of them. I am happy with them; and they can be deconstructed if necessary.
    I’m looking forward to your “reveal”! If it’s anything like your kitchen, it will be a home run. And, of course your yard is awesome.
    I can’t imagine living in that heat. I was born in San Diego and the climate was fairly temperate. My husband and I have lived in several different states outside California. Georgia was an eye opener! HOT and HUMID! I like cool and rainy; I think I might have been a fern or moss in a rain forest in another life.
    Have a wonderful weekend; don’t let a few “negative Nancy’s” rain on your parade.

    Susan

  14. Oh how I agree with every word you say! I always say..it’s not about what we WANT. The virus comes down to math and science. We need to respect the facts even if they aren’t convenient. Life is to be valued and protected.

  15. Brenda,
    I think there are some truly miserable people in this world who derive their pleasure from being nasty to others in hopes of making them miserable also. So pathetic. But unlike those negative commenters, you have integrity, grace and style and that is why you have so many devoted readers. Yesterdays post was well written and thought provoking. Kudos to you for standing up for yourself and setting boundaries. I love your blog. Keep on being yourself and authentic.

  16. I have to say I was a little shocked by the tone of a few of the comments yesterday myself because while I would expect it to happen at my own blog, or on sites where I don’t hold back on my personal political views, I try to keep that away from your blog because that’s not what you or your blog are about. You are such a gentle soul and you never say anything that I’ve ever found to be anywhere near politically controversial or personally offensive. I don’t always hold back on what I’m feeling in that direction as I’m more of a fighter, probably due to my legal career for 46 years, but I do try to be respectful of others and their view point. It is your blog, Brenda, and you do not need to provide a forum for negativity for or from anyone. It is your right to moderate your own blog. In general, it seems to me that the people who follow you and read your blog regularly share a lot more similarities than differences. We are older but (hopefully) wiser, we love nature, we love our families, we love our pets and animals in general, we love our gardens, we enjoy getting our hands in the soil, we love puttering around the house changing things up and creating a cozy atmosphere for ourselves and whatever others we may have in our lives. Many of us appear to be single, and are more apt to be loners than need to be around a constant influx of activity and people. Our stimulus comes from inside ourselves, not from the outside world. We may have physical limitations to a certain extent, or be grappling with some health issues. And we do it, we keep on keeping on. We may complain about some things occasionally, but we get on with our lives as best we can and enjoy what we have to the hilt. Positive and peaceful vibes abound here. I support you 100%.

    1. I totally agree….I have seen so many unnecessary comments posted everywhere. I am shocked sometimes at how rude people can be. This is a safe plcce..thank goodness.

  17. You are too good with insight and a thoughtful writer to let some nasty mean snarky people ruin your blog cause they don’t care to be a part of the real world. I say those people who think the virus is just the flu and if they catch it, well they should be declined a ventilator and see how they like suffering cause they obviously haven’t known a critically ill person dealing with totally different virus. Obviously beautiful and kind health care professionals wouldn’t deny them care and not all need ventalotors but they should deny for doubting this exists. I don’t live in a bubble but if I had to know some of those people who replied with unkind words yesterday, I would change jobs and stay clear away of their problems.

  18. It seems in this day and age we are all so easily offended by — whatever. It doesn’t make any difference if the offense has any effect on our personal lives or not … many have a tendency to just lose their cool and cause all kinds of destruction — emotional, physical, spiritual. We need to grow up and learn how to play in the sandbox (my husband’s description). And in this case, your thoughtful post was in the crossfire. I enjoy having my mind quickened to see what I may not have seen on my own so keep up the great posts.

  19. Oh Brenda, you got hit yesterday but as usual you have faced it with great Perseverance to stand your ground. I am so tired of everybody being so cynical. It’s exhausting. And I agree with Pat Gaudreau about posting on FB and being attack for your words or opinions. I too wonder when I see people on the street what their back story is, whether or not life has been kind to them. Please just keep
    writing your beautiful thoughts as they ebb and flow they often take me away.

    Our city of Simi Valley is having a protest today. Several of our banks have boarded up, drug stores and many small businesses. We have two Targets in town and they are closed. The Police Dept has spoken to the businesses and advised many to close and they are doing just that. I so hope it stays peaceful. City Hall
    has received many phone calls with regard to a possible riot here. We are home to the Rodney King trial in 92 and also home for many police. They were also advising police to take anything down that might let people know their affiliations. My husband was a LAPD Detective and he never had any accommodations visible. So I am hoping for a quiet protest.

  20. I had to go back and reread yesterday’s entry since I thought it was thought provoking. I didn’t change my mind after reading the comments either. Our local neighborhood sites & other social media have been very combative this year and as a result I scroll thru pretty quickly now to avoid some comments. I’m not trying to keep my head in the sand but so much negativity and disrespect in addition to the ‘I have the only correct opinion’ comments is really disheartening. It can easily become overwhelming for me.

    You do a great job with your blog. Thank you.

  21. I’m sorry you feel this way but you need to have an open mind that not everyone is going to agree with you. Your post today could be taken as mean spirited as some comments. Sorry as I really do enjoy your blog .

  22. Once upon a time, people would be civil even if they disagreed with someone else’s opinion. Social media for the most part has done away with that respect. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, and if someone doesn’t agree with something you-or anyone else-has written, just scroll on by. What has happened to our world? It’s a rhetorical question so please no one need respond, because that will also start mayhem.

    I appreciate every post you take the time to write.

  23. I was disheartened to read those mean comments ~ how dare those people call Brenda out for having a mind of her own?!?!
    Stay strong, Brenda ~
    Hugs ~

  24. Good Morning Brenda. I missed the post yesterday. I am sorry you had negative comments that are not so nice. Especially now with all that is going on in our country we need to show kindness. My feeling with negative comments is if you do not agree or like something then move on and do not be rude. We need to be a society of tolerance and kindness. Sorry this happened. I have only had a few negative comments on my blog in the 11 years of blogging and feel fortunate but when it does happen I know it is hurtful especially if they did not get the message correct. Hope they move on now. Hope your daughter’s second surgery went well.
    Kris

  25. I enjoy reading your posts daily.Your life has certainly given you some challenges but I admire your upbeat tone and sharing your garden,the beauty and the oops as well as your details of Charlie and Ivys adventures…as aMom of 2 of the purring variety,I really enjoy these as it rings true here as well,and reassures me that I’m not nuts for spoiling these lovebugs and I was crazy before the cats,L.O.L.I
    I’m also envious of your decorating “eye” and your intrinsic knowledge of what goes with what and where.a
    Don’t let the haters,trolls and Debbie downer get to you,they’re everywhere these days and apparently don’t get out of their basements enough to know what going on in this crazy world!
    I think long and hard these days about commenting on a FB post,seems like someone is at the ready to jump down my throat with something mean and nasty,ummmm,it’s my opinion?
    I chose to look at the glass as half full,maybe,I pray,she was just starting out as an Avon or Mary Kay consultant and had all her products in there…
    Keep up your great job!

  26. I was so surprised to read your post this morning and find out you had so many negative replies. There is no need for that and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. I read and enjoy your post each day and can’t imagine anyone finding negative ideas. I also agree with what you say about our world today. It confuses me too. Ignore those people and continue to do what you do each day. Give your fur baby a hug for me. I have two of them and they are wonderful companions.

    Your garden is beautiful. I am in Ohio so I’m just getting my containers filled. My daughter and I are going to get our plants either today or tomorrow. I might get some blue and yellow ones. I love the way your’s look.

    Have a great weekend.

  27. I didn’t pay much attention to the comments that were snarky. Some of them seemed so outright silly. We are in the midst of a pandemic and avoiding people that are close to us, so who in their right mind would jump out of the car and question a stranger about their suitcase? Some comments just took your post too literally, I saw it more as the speculating of a curious mind. I often see someone that sparks a narrative spinning in my head about their lives. Sometimes my inner musings are pretty dramatic; I might decide the shifty looking person ahead of me in the bank line is going to rob the place, and I make sure I can describe him perfectly to the police by observing him carefully while I wait my turn. My brain takes me on these little trips because it passes the time while I wait. Sort of ” Walter Mittyish” fantasies I would say, that I certainly don’t act on. You are a writer and your gift is to create word pictures. I saw the woman with a suitcase as symbolic of the chaos we are living in right now.

  28. I think you had the perfect metaphor in regards to the lady and the suitcase. I enjoy reading what you have to say because it is always well thought and expressed in a kind way. Many people only seem to respect the opinion of those they agree with 100%. How then do we ever LEARN anything? We do not. Not when we cannot respectfully listen to those with whom we may agree with or not. Like you, when it gets mean I can no longer learn from the speaker/writer.
    And about that virus. It is real, it kills, and it is certainly still being shaken all around us. But apparently, if someone doesn’t know anyone who has had their life destroyed by it, well.., why would they care? It is sickening.
    Keep writing. I’ve been reading you for years. You have much to say. I have much to learn.

  29. I love your blog, short hair, your animal pictures, your decorating skills…
    You have a way with words. I know if I lived near you we could be friends.
    We may be on different sides politically-but that is ok. We are more alike than different.
    I would be sad if I never had another opportunity to read your blog.
    P. S. Thank You for the privilege

  30. I almost commented yesterday that the lady could have had Alzheimer’s. My father had it and was always packing up his car to go home. He would take off walking too.
    I don’t understand why people get so irritated about their “virus”. I feel they look at it as a political thing. Like wearing masks. Their choice but they don’t have to say that it takes away their rights. I have my own thoughts about why they are this way. I’m sure you would agree.
    I think we are in for a rough rest of the year. I’ve noticed on FB that when anyone posts anything, they get blasted.
    Hugs

    1. Debby, I wondered the same thing if perhaps the lady had Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia. Having worked at a nursing home this was my first thought. Whatever the reason she was walking with her suitcase, i just hope she is safe and well.

  31. Bless you, Brenda, your blog posts are so lovely and gentle and sane. I can’t fathom why people feel the need to post snarky comments here.
    It seems that nowadays everyone is ready to offer their negative opinions about anything anyone else does/wears/says/is.
    I’m about your age, so I remember a time when people were civil to each other. Why can’t we get back to that and extend it to all people including people of color, LGBTQ people, all women and everyone else? Do they not understand that we’re all on this planet together and we might as well get along as best we can? Do they not understand they’re not going to change our world view with their negativity?
    I feel all I can do at this time is be kind to every single person I encounter — a smile, a friendly word. Like the person or not, like their opinions or not, I have to treat them with the respect owed all human beings. That’s how I want to be treated. And if I feel I have to speak out to counter injustice or disrespect, then I hope to have the grace to do so with respect. I’m far from perfect, but those are my goals.
    I wish you well, Brenda, and hope you remember how many people care about you and your family, humans and fur babies.

  32. Rightly said Brenda. This is my first time commenting but read your blog daily. These hard times are bringing out the worst in people it seems. Keep doing what you do, and I am sorry for the negativity on some’s behalf.

  33. Bravo, Brenda! I am so glad that you spoke up and told the people with negative and degrading remarks to stop!! Love all the quotes you put up !

  34. My prayers are with all the families who have lost friends and loved ones. I have older relatives in care facilities we have still been unable to visit, other than by phone. And, being a senior secluded alone is no fun for myself. I pray these stressful health and civil issues all resolve in the near future, and everyone can be kind, respectful, and helpful to each other as we resume our lives. Wishing peace and good health to everyone.

  35. Brenda, I certainly don’t blame you for deciding to monitor comments. it’s a pity you have to do that but as a reader, I appreciate not having to read someone’s vitriol. There are so many differing opinions on many subjects. Unfortunately some folks don’t have a filter on their voice. Hugs for your due babies…

  36. I must have checked a dozen times this morning waiting for your post today. I LOVE all the quotes you posted and am sorry people can’t be pleasant. If there is something that doesn’t interest you, move on quietly. Many of us enjoy sharing time with you and reading your blog everyday is like checking in with a friend. Have a wonderful weekend!

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