Today I’m writing about a reader’s loss and grief. Oh, I know grief up close and personal.
One of you wonderful readers, Wendy, had to let her dear Dexter go yesterday. I already knew what time they were going to the vet. And I tried to convey my empathy over the miles at that time.
It’s so very hard to let them go.
I often get emails when people have lost their beloved pets.
They are our children, our babies. Heavens, they are with us every single day!
I told Wendy she might want to order the book on grief that I ordered when Abi died. It is called “Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief,” by Martha W. Hickman.
Martha herself died in 2015. She wrote the book in 1994. But of course there is no expiration date on grief.
We are all with you, Wendy. Reaching out to you across the miles. We are here to give you strength during this horrible time.
And today is also the anniversary of 9/11, when tragedy struck and so many people died.
Excerpt From “Healing After Loss” For September 11:
Excerpt:
It is not enough just to be still.
But if we are quiet and listen to our own stillness, how can we prevent all those other things rushing in? We can’t always. And that’s fine. Sometimes we need to pay attention to those sad associations and memories too.
But sometimes it’s good to ask them to leave for awhile. And pay attention to our own being. One classical way to do this is to breathe with great care and deliberation. And attend only to that.
We may find this a good way to “ease into” our own stillness. A sense of our own body, mind, spirit, in this space, alone.
***
We are all here with you in spirit, Wendy. I’m so very sorry for your loss. Your Dexter has crossed The Rainbow Bridge. He’s with my dear Abi now.
Change In Charlie’s Medicine:
I talked to Dr. Poteet earlier in the week and he said to give him Theophylline in the morning. But to skip the evening dose.
He also said Charlie getting up so many times at night might be something else. It might be part of cognitive decline.
So I’ve been following his instructions, and Charlie isn’t as fidgety anymore.
Whether from sheer exhaustion or the fact that Charlie is sleeping more at night, I’ve been able to get more sleep. And I feel 100% better for it.
Charlie is right next to me, squished into the chair, sleeping. He seems to be having an easier time of it. The weather has been cooler and that seems to help.
I am writing to let you be aware of what a really good encounter our daughter experienced viewing the blog. She came to find numerous pieces, including what its like to have an awesome teaching mood to have many people really easily fully understand a number of problematic subject matter. You truly exceeded readers expectations. I appreciate you for distributing these good, trusted, explanatory and as well as unique thoughts on your topic to Janet.
My deepest condolences to Wendy. Our pets are family too.
Loosing a dear pet can be as hard or worse than loosing most of the people in our lives. Our last dog loved us more than most humans, as my husband said, so why shouldn’t we grieve? My heart goes out to Wendy and anyone else facing this. I think it must be even harder right now in the midst of so much other loss. The West Coast is going up in flames. Though no one we know has lost a home or anyone yet…my husband’s niece lives south of Hillsboro, Ore…from what I can see likely they are still ok. No doubt being ready if need be…though they have a lot of animals, plus keeping other animals for others too. I imagine they have been busy wetting everything down that they can. Life is so hard right now. Sending hugs out to anyone who needs it.
Thank you Brenda and all of you for your kind words, yes I am sure the pain will ease in time. Dexter was the sweetest cat, although his passing was easy it was hard to see his lifeless body just lying still, our vet said we could stay as long as we needed to, Dexter looked so small because he had lost a lot of weight.
Joyce my husband said ‘it is worse than when a parent dies’. I think it is because our pets rely on us for everything they are like children to us.
Thank you again to everyone for your words of sympathy.
Since this is such a safe place, I’m going to admit here that I’ve never cried over the death of a human the way I’ve sobbed over a pet. That includes a dearly loved grandfather and my beloved sister. Both parents as well. There, I said it.
Joyce, I don’t think you should be embarrassed about crying when losing a pet. After losing my beloved parents, brother and many other close family members, I honestly didn’t know if I would recover from losing both my precious kitties two months apart. They were both almost twenty years old and for nearly half that time, I had been with them almost all day every day. I think much of my deep grief came from just plain missing them. And, I still miss them every day after four years. But, yes, it does get better even though, for me, it hasn’t gone away. Wishing you well.
Sherry in Little Rock
Virtual hugs,tears and prayers to Wendy. 😢
We have all been where Wendy is and it is the hardest part of life. The loss is felt so deeply that sometimes you think you will never feel better. Time has a way of not letting you forget or let the loss go away but it does have a way of making each day a little easier after the loss of a pet. Wishes of better days down the road for Wendy.
It is one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my life, to make that decision. The grief is always there, tucked away in a corner of my heart, but so are the wonderful memories of my much loved faithful furry companions. As hard as that decision was to make, Wendy take solace in the fact that your beloved pet did not suffer. I too believe that our pets go to a better place when they have passed, and that such intelligent, loyal and loving animals have souls just like humans do.
I have lost three lovely cats. Each one was a real gift. And each one visited me after he died. It felt like they were saying Goodbye and I love you.
I know, you will think me crazy, but I have also been visited by my father and stepfather.
No, Jane, I don’t think you’re crazy. I am very comforted by your admission. Thank you for sharing that.
Wendy, sending you virtual hugs on the loss of your sweet Dexter! They are never here with us as long as we want and need them to be.
To all who have lost loved ones, pets and people, I send my deepest sympathy.
Wendy,
Sorry for the loss of your sweet Dexter.
We know first hand how difficult loosing a pet, a member of the family is.
I have many stories to tell about our rescues throughout 30+ years.
We often had 3 pups at a time. Usually rescued seniors. Also “found” a few very loving orphans.
For us, it’s been a life-long journey to do our best for each and every pet. We even adopted and also found 🐱 kitty cats! A real eye opening experience.
We think about them all at any given time.
Memories keep us smiling.
Best to you Wendy.
Also to others suffering pet loss.
My sweet Chicapoo died yesterday. I had to go to the grocery store this morning. When I returned home, I immediately began to call his name as he always greets me. It finally dawned on me that he will never greet me again. I began to cry.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Chicapoo. My thoughts and prayers are with you!
I am so sorry to hear of your sweet Chicapoo’s passing. I call out for all my animals after they have left me, sometimes years later. They all take a piece of our hearts with them. Sending hugs to you.
I was out a bit ago and the thought came to me: I hope Charlie dies in his sleep or something very peaceful. I don’t want to go through what I did with Abi and have to force it.
Brenda, after my kitties started to fail I prayed for them to have a peaceful passing in their sleep but it didn’t happen that way. I think that made losing them all the more devastating.
Sherry in Little Rock
I gone through this loss 3 times. One died in her sleep and two we had to make the decision because of deteriorating health and old age. I can tell you Brenda I didn’t find one easier than the other unfortunately. The same pain same loss.
I am sorry to hear of Wendy’s loss. It seems such a shame that when we get a pet they have to leave us so soon. No matter how long we have them with us our hearts ache forever when they are gone.
Thinking of you today Wendy, all of us who have lost and loved a pet know your pain. How wonderful that you have a community and a friend like Brenda.
So happy Charlie is feeling better and that you are getting more sleep!
Have a wonderful weekend.
Even after 19 years I still cry on September 11 when I see them read all of the names of those lost. I did not know them but I grieve for their families.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Wendy after the loss of her dear pet Dexter.
My dear dog Miky ( pronounced Mickey) passed away 4 Years ago one month after my husband passed away. It took a long time for me to recover both losses, but by the grace of God I did!
There are many of us who know Wendy’s grief only too well. Sending love and peace through the cyber world to Wendy.
I wish a bunch of us were there to sit with you in the quiet after the loss of your dear pet. Hugs to you💕
What an absolutely beautiful thought.
Gentle hugs and healing thoughts for Wendy as she grieves the loss of her beloved Dexter!