Lunch With Daughters & Depression In Children

It is bright and sunny out this morning. Ivy is enjoying laying in front of the storm door in the shafts of sunlight.

We’ve all just had our breakfast and meds have been given out.

Mystery Flower:

I know I planted this vine with tiny little white flowers months ago. But I can’t for the life of me remember what they’re called. I recall planting the seeds back in the spring.

Whatever it’s called, it’s quite petite and looks sweet up against the green ivy I’ve trained on the alley fence.

The white morning glories are more numerous than the blue and white ones. I haven’t seen another white moon flower at night thus far.

Mother/Daughter Lunch:

There are two days of the month when Kasi wants to come over for lunch. Though she now works from home she still has someone come clean her house twice per month. I don’t blame her. It’s over 4000 square feet.

I could get lost in that house. I’ve never even ventured up those treacherous looking stairs that wind around.

Her husband has what I believe is referred to as a theater room up there. As well as at least one bedroom and one bath.

Kendra & Her Flip Houses:

Anyway she and Kendra came over yesterday at noon. Kendra never knows if she will be able to break away from the flip house. Contractors don’t show up on time and all that. She is closing on another flip house soon.

Anyway I ordered Mexican takeout meals from a new restaurant just around the corner. I paid over the phone and had Kendra pick it up on her way here.

This is our quality mother/daughter catch up time. I find out what’s going on with the grandkids and all that.

Andrew:

The professionals think that Andrew, now six, could possibly be on the spectrum. It does run in the family. It’s also on his father’s side.

Problems came to pass when he began kindergarten last year. He was not able to deal with the more structured environment.

Medication & Therapy:

People often think children that young don’t experience depression. I’m here to tell them they are wrong. I clearly remember it from my childhood. The way it pressed down on me and made everything gray and formidable.

I did not get any relief from it until I was given anti depressant medication when I was 26.

For a child feelings of impending doom are frightening because they don’t understand what’s wrong.

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13 Comments

  1. I thought about this for months before I wrote about it. No one knows their last names or what school he goes to. That has never been revealed here. I went ahead and wrote about it because every time I write about autism someone writes to tell me that something I mentioned helped them in their own journey.

  2. Maybe your daughter can check into Town and Country school. I’m very happy my grandson has been there 3 years. He’s 16 now and doing better. As far as it “going away with diet…I don’t know. My hubby and I have custody and it’s a tough road to hoe. There are many, many families out there going through the same heartbreak. Tell her to hang in there. Thinking about Charlie!

  3. Since you’ve got genetic components for autism and spectrum disorder, please get him genetically tested. The MTHFR Gene and others can be addressed and make a dramatic difference in children especially. There’s a doctor in Austin named Kendall Stewart that specializes in spectrum and sensory processing issues by addressing the genetics. Miracles can happen when you have appropriate treatments.

  4. I am so sorry about your grandson. Depression at any age is so hard but especially hard in children. I am glad he has had a good teacher along the way. Sometimes especially with boys they get diagnosed as ADHD or worse a problem child. Sometimes even with ADHD they can have underlying depression. It does run in families so that is good your daughter recognizes this and is getting him some help. Hope Charlie is still doing well.
    Hugs,
    Kris

  5. Hi. I’m glad you can have those lunches to visit with your daughters and all give each other support. On the subject of Andrew’s issues with school, I’ll share a bit about my two children’s experiences. Well, actually, it just seems too exhausting to tackle writing about all of the testing, diagnoses, medications, individual lesson plans, and so on, and the fact that my kids’ dad and I had just gone through a divorce and I was such an emotional wreck. I could write a lot about it, but the main thing I will say is, what most helped my kids was when the adult working with them showed through words and actions how much they wanted to be there with my kids, and wanted to help them. My kids could tell when an adult was just going through the motions and not that interested, and they really blossomed when they could tell that an adult cared, and they then wanted to put in a good effort at whatever subject they were working on. One December, my son said, “Mom, we have to go to the store and get some Dr. Pepper for Mrs. C’s Christmas gift. It’s her favorite!” She made him feel special and he wanted to do something special for her. It was such a great moment to see his beaming face when he gave her the Dr. Pepper and she gave him such a big smile and thank you. No matter what Andrew’s diagnosis or plans are, I hope that he has people working with him who show they care, and if they don’t seem to give a hoot, then I hope that Andrew’s parents can find someone who does give a hoot!

  6. Hi Brenda!
    I remember having depression as a child. I still have it, as an adult it’s safer to take anti-depressants and they help. My 13 year old granddaughter has it as well. It’s so hard to see her suffering.
    I hope your grandson feels better soon. Sometimes I think some children just aren’t ready for school at the time we are required to send them, especially boys. I wish we could just send them when they are ready. My grandson has had so many issues his first two years, suddenly this year it seems to have “clicked”.
    Julie

  7. My grandson here, also diagnosed with ADHD, has had issues like you describe, though he was left in school…for a couple years I made him a “breakfast” cookie that he was allowed to eat at all times. He ate them freely and it seemed apparent they helped him…I made them with all kinds of nutritious things, including flax seed. Flax is good for soothing the nerves etc. He did not stay on meds long…for many reasons. I have not made him those cookies in some time, and now age 11 he is doing ok. If I was your daughter, I would take all regular sugar from his diet, use coconut sugar, honey, molasses, etc and add good stuff, esp. ground flax seed to recipes (won’t hurt the whole family either)…and see if that does not help him be calmer. Also I found with my own kids, who sometimes fritzed out when we had to go places in the car, I made them all eat some apple as we left…somehow apples also are calming…sure solved our car riding issues!! Just a few thoughts…

    1. Absolutely. I have a few friends and relatives with children that were diagnosed with ADHD and or possible autism and they tried changing their diets like you described (also no food colorings or additives) and it did a world of good. I have read a lot about this on medical websites online and health journals, too.

  8. I agree with Ann E I have. 6 year old grandson and 7 year old grandson they both are smart but Active my oldest daughter had the dr put her 7 year old son on meds and it made him act terrible so he’s off meds I’m teaching online we learn and play it’s not sitting all day I think he’s doing better than when he was in a Classroom some kids are smart they just need a different approach

  9. I believe that children aren’t meant to sit in a classroom at that age and certainly not that long, much less a boy at age 6. Kids should be out and about. The body isn’t meant to be idle. With day care and such, kids are supposed to sit all day from littles on and it’s just not healthy. It’s unnatural. I’m not saying there isn’t anything wrong, but that alone is a huge problem.

    1. I hear what you’re saying, Ann. My oldest son couldn’t sit still in first grade and was very impulsive. His teacher insisted he had ADHD and as a mom, I knew he didn’t, as he wasn’t that way at home. I knew it was simply because he was an active little boy and couldn’t sit for six hours straight! Since the teacher insisted, I had him tested both by the school staff and by our pediatrician. He did not test as ADHD.