It’s About The “What Ifs?”

There are lots of “what ifs” for women. Society expects us to be caretakers, baby sitters and homemakers.

We’re the ones expected to be there to bandage skinned knees and kiss the boo-boos.

Boys are raised to be strong and sure of themselves. While we girls tiptoe around them.

Women in our age group have struggled to stand up for ourselves. We were cautioned not to be too assertive so as not to threaten men.

I recall growing up that boys were treated different. If they got a bit out of hand, well, boys will be boys. They pushed and they shoved and we girls just stood around and watched.

You’ve heard the phrase “mean girls.” But how many times have you heard someone say“mean boys?”

We looked to everyone else to be proud of us. When really all we needed was to feel pride of self.

Why did no one teach us that?

Why did no one tell us not to become another flower to be picked for our beauty and then left to wither and die?

When a woman wants to leave a man, one of her first thoughts is whether she can take care of the family if he opts to be a deadbeat dad.

If it’s the other way around and the dad stays with the children and the mother takes off for parts unknown, she is judged harshly. Shunned. Talked about behind her back.

She is thought to be unfeeling, have no motherly instincts, and not love her children.

How many times have you heard about a woman filing for divorce and while walking down the courthouse steps the husband steps up and shoots her dead?

When everyone should have a star up there in the sky with their name on it.

Everyone should be allowed to shine in their own right.

It’s all about power.

And sometimes women have to fight like hell to take theirs back.

What if women didn’t even have to consider “what if” and just forged their own path?

Women should shoot for the moon.

And like the saying goes: If we fall, we will land among the stars.

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9 Comments

  1. I agree with others what a strong message Brenda. When our daughter was growing up I wanted to instill in her how smart and strong she was and how important it was to be able to take care of herself. She is doing just that today and hopefully will teach the same lessons to my two young grand daughters. A very different generation than when I grew up…..thank God.

  2. Brenda,
    such a strong message for all us. I have helped several friends in domestic violence issues and you have to know who your dealing with. I have been threatened by one and went to the police so there would be a paper trail. My husband and his friend, a detective did extensive research on him and he was arrested on stalking! Thank God for technology today.

  3. I think we women have come a long way, but it has been a long hard road to get where we are recognized as equal to men! Also, to have men stand up and help with household chores and taking care of the children! In my day, it was a woman’s responsibility to take care of everything in the household and some of us had to work too!

  4. Every word written here is true. So glad that times are changing and girls watching their strong mothers are encouraged to stand up and forge ahead with their life and not let anyone put them down with action or words.

  5. Life is so hard for so many, in so many ways!! I guess we all wish something had been different…at least I do, all the way along in my life there was sadness, and even those days that are supposed to be the happiest always contained sadness too for one reason or another. But I am glad I was able to be an at home mom, and do not feel in any way, less than, for so doing. I was not always acknowledged by the ones who should have, but I did my best. Sometimes other women look down on a woman who is happy to stay home too. Each one of us have our talents and abilities and it is a good thing. I think we were meant to be different and each one of us shine in our own arena. My daughters have struggled at work a lot…but it has been both men and women who have been problems. IF ONLY women helped each other…seems THAT could make a big difference too. In our home, boys will be boys, was NOT allowed. Same expectations of both son and daughters.

  6. Wonderful, powerful post! This absolutely what we should do and teach our daughters to do. Thank you!!

  7. I was raised by a single mom in the 50’s. I didn’t want anyone to know that my parents were divorced as a woman at that time was frowned upon. She was a strong woman and we survived. After 40 years of marriage, I decided to leave him but wondered if I would be strong like my mother. I am glad I did as I am so happy to be free to be me whoever that is. Life is too short. Be happy with yourself!