A Jar Of Zinnias & Charlie’s Ashes

This morning I went out and cut a jar of zinnias. It is a simple and unfussy bouquet that I can enjoy indoors.

I have Charlie’s ashes now. His and Abi’s ashes are side by side on my bookshelf.

A Card From The Acupuncture Clinic:

I received a card from the acupuncture clinic where Charlie went for some years. Everyone who worked there as well as the two female vets wrote something about Charlie on the card. I was so touched.

They also wrote that they donated to three different pet charities in Charlie’s honor. Which was wonderful. The best gift they could have given me and Charlie.

I miss my Charlie boy terribly. And I miss singing to him at night as I always did. I miss him laying next to me in this chair.

Grief is so hard. Letting them go is so very hard.

Loss Is Part Of Life:

But loss is part of life. And if you dare to love, then you are going to feel loss at some point. That is unfortunately the price you pay for love.

It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, saying goodbye to Abi and then Charlie.

My heart is broken, but I’ll go on. Ivy is here to help me struggle through.

My sweet Charlie lives on in my heart.

I love you to the moon and back, Charlie boy.

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29 Comments

  1. I’m so very sorry for your loss. I have been fortunate enough to have had many dogs in my lifetime. Each one owns a spot in my heart. I have 4 lovely doggies living with me at present and they truly make my life. My heart and thoughts are with you.

  2. no words good enough.
    that tiny little face. he was special. and loved by so Many!
    but first and foremost by his Mom. bless you Brenda. xo

  3. I’m so very sorry, Brenda. I’ve been reading your blog since you were in Tyler, and I know how much he and Abi meant to you. God bless and heal you.

  4. What a handsome boy Charlie is. I say is because I don’t think our beloveds are ever truly gone. Thank you for sharing him with us. So many have loved him who never got to pet him or meet him. He’s become a part of so many lives via your writing and photography. Brenda, you’re a great Mom to your daughters and your fur babies. I’m glad Ivy is there with you. Take care and be well. You’re loved and needed.

  5. Oh Brenda,
    I haven’t been on my E-Mail for around a week. I opened your post and burst into tears! I am so sorry for you and know well your pain about losing a dog-child. It’s going to be hard; I still cry over the loss of my Brittany spaniel who died in 2018. After 2 years, we adopted a rescue puppy in the Spring of 2020. Just about the time the states were starting the lockdowns. While I love her dearly, she will never replace him. Hugs and prayers for a soft grieving.

  6. Losing a beloved fur baby is so hard. You will miss Charlie and Abi forever. Zippo’s been gone 2-1/2 years and I still miss him terribly. Thinking of you and wishing you peace.

  7. Oh Brenda. My heart aches for you. We have 7 of those boxes and a piece of our heart is in each of them. So glad you have Ivy there to help ease the pain. (((Hugs)))

  8. Dear Brenda,
    I’m so sorry your heart is breaking for Charles absence. I totally understand….having experienced the same situation.
    Sending you Blessings and much love.
    Susan

  9. I know so many people who are in that special place that were animal lovers. I know they received Charlie with open arms. Abi too. My heart is breaking for you right now. I hope you can feel the love.

  10. Charlie and Abi will live in your heart for as long as you remember the love you had for each other. And I know how much you loved them and what good care you gave them, so that will be forever. Your love for Ivy will soften your sorrow a little. Take gentle care. Hugs, Elaine

  11. We lost a cat over 25 years ago and I still miss him. But one day several months afteer he died, I was awoken from a nap by a cat kneading me just like he did. I thought I was dreaming until it started again. I threw him off me and then it started again. This really gave me the willies so I got up and yelled at him. But I also got visited by another cat we lost. He would come every morning and lay along side my leg like he did in life. I could feel the weight, the warmth and the purring. Until his best friend came one day and they went off to pet heaven together. Charlie is there and making new friends or visiting old ones.
    No, I am not crazy.

    1. “Dreaming” is okay Jan! Practically every single night, I dream. Very often re pets. Especially ones I really do not even have! Happened yesterday. An automatic brain thing obviously.
      Unsure if I rescued a lost 🐈 cat, AND a little tiny kitten. Dream was sooo real though.
      We haven’t had 😻 a cat in many years. Had 3 all at once. All rescued of course. Missing them a lot.
      We are too old now. Cannot rescue any more.
      Time for the younger generations to help them all.

  12. It is hard when you lose one of your fur babies. Praying God will give you His Peace and you will begin to enjoy all your sweet memories. Would you post a picture of Abi? I recently began following you and I would love to see her picture.

      1. These are the little and such nice thoughtful things that help you Brenda.
        I thinking of Ivy often. Little sweetheart 💕 will keep you warm + a great companion. Very glad you have her.

    1. Rita, if you happen to read blogs on your iPhone, as I do, there aren’t sidebars. You’ll have to scroll all the way to the bottom to see Abi. HTH!

  13. It is good you still have a pet. We found that it helped when we lost different dogs, if we had another one still. I hope Ivy will live a very long time…she looks so very healthy and some cats do live much longer than dogs. My daughter had one who lived to be 18…no dogs we ever had, could we get to that age. One has to go through the stages of grief…tis true it is the price of love.

  14. Brenda my heart breaks for you. Seeing that sweet picture of Charlie makes me sad and miss him too. We have known each other in blogland for a long time and I feel with you sharing so much of Abi, Charlie and Ivy that I found a soft spot in my heart for them. We all grieve with you. I am sorry Brenda but like you said if we chance love then we have to feel loss. All part of life. Prayers for you that you find peace in the coming days. Time never takes the loss away but it does have a way to make it more tolerable. xoxo

  15. That’s a great picture of Charlie. His expression reminds me of him saying:
    What? I haven’t done anything wrong. And the box for his ashes is perfect.

  16. So sorry for your loss. Losing our beloved pets, who are much like family, is so very difficult. ❤️

  17. Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies who has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together….

    Unknown