Yesterday I got up and had breakfast and then my one cup of coffee. The whole time Abi was whining and crying and going back and forth to my bedroom.

So I thought I’d try a different approach to this problem.

I went back to the bedroom and picked her up and put her next to me on the couch, between the couch arm and my body, with my night gown covering her. Then I petted her with one hand while I worked on my laptop. 

This is usually Charlie’s spot. So he managed to wedge himself in there too.

After she’d been still for an hour or so (which I don’t think she’d have done without my petting her), I rewarded her by taking my laptop and going back to the bedroom with her.

From what I could tell, she didn’t eat at all on Friday. I didn’t want that to continue. I know I was getting short with her and that probably made her nervous. So I had to try something else.

Yesterday, after we had been back in the bedroom for awhile, I had lunch and then gave them their food. And she ate it right up. 

I really think she believes the bedroom to be her safe place, for whatever reason. I think that’s where the dogs go when I’m gone. Because when I unlock the door, it takes a bit before they realize I’m home.

Perhaps it is a bit of dementia on her part. Some of you said you’d dealt with that with older pets. Where they get agitated and confused and begin behavior they didn’t previously engage in.

I do plan to call the vet on Monday and have a discussion about this.

She only started doing this about 3 weeks ago. But I don’t want to spend all my time in my bedroom. Maybe they can prescribe meds for her or something.

She gets in these little phases where she takes up strange habits like this. Like jumping into the tub and furiously scratching when I guess she sees a small insect.

Abi has always been different, from day one.

Heavens, it’s not easy being a mom. Whether it be a kid mom or a pet mom. It’s just not an easy job.



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  1. Poor little Abi! It's tough to know just what our pups want, we just do what we can to make them happy and comfortable. My little Monkey won't eat unless I force her – I have to mix people food in with her dogfood, and sometimes even then she won't eat. My old girl, on the other hand, could eat 24 hours per day! We have to separate them when it's dinner time or Lily would eat all of Monkey's food also!

  2. Brenda, it's me Martha.
    Think I know how to use google.
    Re: Little Abi
    1. Has there been a change in cleaning products
    2. Does she scratch in same area
    3. Possible paint, change of decor…new placed in tub just for few minutes
    4. Possible crack or chip in tub, not possible to see or feel.
    5. Possible broken or split nail. Pads could have splinter or cut.
    6. Workers installing vanity w/sink. Glue or chemical used rags & throwing in tub.
    You are so thorough in cleaning. You cannot ever blame yourself.
    Also, maybe place clean towel or rug in tub for her.
    Maybe it feels cooler than carpet.
    Prayers for relief soon for you and Little Abi.

  3. Has water gotten in her ears when being bathed? That happened to my little dog and she got an ear infection. She was acting strange and it took awhile to get it cleared up but then she was fine.

  4. Hi Brenda, I understand how you worry about Abi. I worry all the time (too much) about my Roxy. Maybe you could bring something from the bedroom like a blanket or throw rug that she likes into the living room and see if she's comfortable with that. Sometimes when I leave the house, I'll leave my pjs or robe on the bed or in a chair where she can cuddle up in it. Hugs, Pat

  5. I have a daughter who is severely retarded and nonverbal, so what you are going through we have gone through for 45 years. She has pain and we don't know exactly how much, she wants to tell us something and can't. She hits herself and screams at times. Meds have not helped much, we try everything. Good luck with Abi, I hope she finds a way to tell you what she needs.

  6. I don't know about Abi, but I must be getting senile because I put a comment in your contact form and not in the usual place. Argh. I hope your vet has some ideas. If Abi didn't have a history of quirkiness, I would wonder if she had a toothache or the beginning of cataracts. I hope it's transient. She is so cute!??

  7. Yes, indeed, being a pet mom is not easy! I have had my two "grandcats" living with me for some years, now. Both old ladies and both with, shall we say, "peculiararities". The one who is fourteen-plus years was a starving kitten when we found her and brought her to my daughter whose kitty had just died. Rhoda sort of has an eating disorder where she has to have three or four small meals a day or she vomits everything up. She is constantly yeow-ing at me to be fed. I accomodate her almost all the time, but sometimes I am impatient with the whole routine. The other cat, Tula, is a flighty, fidgity, scaredy cat–even if there's nothing unusual happening. You can just walk by her and she'll run like she was being mortally threatened. She also up-chucks hair-balls since she is very long-haired and doesn't seem to respond to the hair-ball medicine we have given her. So…I definitely can sympathize with you dealing with Abi. The pictures of her in this post are certainly sweet though. You really capture her innocence and her trust in her "mama".

    Along with some meds you might want to consider the Thunder Shirt. If you're not familiar with it it's just a vest that fits around the torso snuggly. It's like swaddling a baby. The pressure seems to calm them. Just an idea.

    Hope you and Abi and Charlie have a a good week together and some cool weather.

  8. I do not have any human kids but my fur kids are a lot of work. My late Munchen was an only child for over 13 years(she lived until 14 yr. 10 months) and she had Cushings for 4 years, then as she aged she lost some of her sight and she was having hearing issues. Those things made her anxious and she did not like to be home alone, consequently she went everywhere with us. Then we got her Paris as a companion, she was 6 months old so not really a good match. 5 months after that we got Pisa to be a companion to Paris. The great thing was that Munchen was no longer afraid to be alone, and she would sleep under the bed by Pisa and Paris's cage when we left.

    Our fur kids bring a lot of joy, angst and love.

  9. Just heard about the tornado in Tulsa. Hope you, your babies, daughter and family are all ok. I am saying a prayer(or 10) for everyone there. Having a bit of the same thing with our 8 yr. old yorkie Gracie. Not as bad though. Hope you find a solution. Just can't start my day without your blog. I was registered as [email protected] but now I am [email protected] I was baking a pie at the time I thought of the name. 🙂

  10. Have you ever tried a thundershirt? It's basically a wrap around garment that makes the pet feel snuggly and apparently the pressure helps calms them. I bought one for my cairn terrier when we travelled and she seemed to respond to it. I also used a little baby t-shirt(3 Months) that is snug on my yorkie. I buy all her clothes at sales, buy onesies and cut off the pants. We live in Va, so we have a winter. It does seem to comfort her. It's kinda like being held in a hug.

  11. Could one of the managers or assistants of your apartment complex used their pass key to enter your apartment? It could have been related to the tree damaging the floor or they knew you had
    stepped out and wanted to "show" your apartment to a possible renter. She could have been frightened or kicked at or pushed away.

  12. I think being a pet mom might be more difficult because they cannot communicate with us in words and there are times, such as you are going through with Abi, that their body language just can't tell us what we need to know and the vet can't either. I experienced that a few months ago with the tragic and unexpected death of my 11 year old Jack Russell. I did not want another dog at all for a while as I was still grieving for her. But fate had other plans and I acquired an abandoned and abused little Maltese mix with a severe hind leg injury who is 5 years old. I mentioned to a close friend that I really don't know why I decided to take this on because I certainly don't need it. Her response was that maybe he needed me more than I needed him, but I think we both might have just needed each other. I do hope that your vet can provide you with some answers and some relief for sweet little Abi because it is so heartbreaking watching her suffer and not know why.

  13. Maybe she has anxiety.. which people do too.. and they only feel comfortable in their safe spot… it surely sounds like it with her… and being close to you under the blanket or robe may help her to feel secure. I would ask the vet about prescribing something to calm her, and maybe that will help. I used to have agoraphobia and I could hardly leave my house. If I did.. I was a wreck and would have anxiety attacks… I know how it feels! she may be feeling the same.. with her age and some dementia…. There is a natural remedy for nerves called Rescue Remedy…. I used it and people with nervous or anxious animals use it.. you can find it online I'm sure.. but I think meds from a vet might work better and give her a better quality of life (and you too!)… Marilyn

  14. Poor little Abi–it probably is dementia to some degree. I'm glad she has you to be so loving and patient with her. I'll be interested to hear what your vet suggests.

  15. oh Brenda. that dear little face!
    I think you're being a wonderful mom. at least you're trying to find ways to help her. and what you find and by writing about it may help others.
    bless you! AND abi!

  16. You are right- it is NOT easy being a mom. At least with a kid they can tell you what is going on (unless they are REALLY sick). With a pet you have to guess and then try to figure out a way to 'fix' things for them.

    Hope you have a good Sunday, Brenda, and Abi doesn't make you stay in the bedroom. xo Diana

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