You are perfectly fine until something catches your eye. And then everything changes in the space of a few seconds. This morning I got up, ate yogurt, and headed to the Walmart Market. I hadn’t bought groceries in several weeks and I needed to fill the pantry. If I go through with the injection Wednesday,…
Grief
Grief Has No Expiration Date
It is cool outside, around 65 degrees. The wind is blowing the tree branches on the patio. I watch them dip and dance from my spot here on the couch. Charlie of course is right beside me. Tomorrow marks four months since Abi died. I think back on her funny antics. I remember them, but…
Finding Comfort While Grieving & More Blood From Charlie
I just got home from having my left eye checked and tested. I have the left eye surgery next Wednesday morning. I came in the door just now and there was blood on the floor again. The vet doesn’t come in on Thursdays until 1 p.m., so I will be taking Charlie in then. Goodness,…
Sharp Edges: When Grief Becomes An Illness
Last night I had a scary dream. I cannot recall the mechanics of it, just vague impressions and feeling anxious when I woke up. I haven’t had a bad or distressing dream in a long time. Maybe I was due for one. I was thinking about something this morning, about my emotions being all over…
Invisible Pearls
When I wake up in the morning, I don’t get up right away. I stay in bed and pet Charlie and think about things a bit. This morning memories of Abi filled my thoughts. I didn’t cry. I just turned the pages of my memory and saw images of her there, silly girl that my…
Dimensions Of Grief & Healing
Another dimension of grief, I’ve learned, is being afraid to move forward. When we grieve, our loved one is front and center. But after that, will their memory fade into our past? I don’t want to lose that immediate image of her. I do not want to turn away. How could I possibly want that?…