All of my life, I have been “a people pleaser.”
I have tried to change this, but find myself reverting back to this behavior again and again.
I don’t know if it is a lack of confidence, or that I genuinely want to please people. Perhaps it is the fact that I have Asperger’s Syndrome, and socially I am not as adept as I’d like to be.
I find myself agreeing to things I really don’t want to do. If someone compliments me on something in my home, I often give it to them.
I also realize that I apologize a lot. If something goes wrong, without stopping to think who’s fault it might be, I jump in and apologize. Then later I wonder why on earth I did that.
I really don’t want to continue being like this, but I suppose I will have to learn new behavior.
Here are some things I’m going to try to keep in mind:
1. Think before I speak
2. Learn that saying no is not a bad thing
3. Remember that not everything has to be someone’s fault
4. Not apologize just to ease the situation
5. Not offer up something I own to someone just because they say they like it
6. Work on self-validation so I don’t look to others
7. Be more assertive; being assertive does not mean being aggressive
8. Stall until I can think about a response
If you are a people pleaser, realize that it can have negative effects on your life.
You might agree to give up your time, when that time should be spent doing something else.
You might start being railroaded because people think you’re easily persuaded.
We women need to learn to stand up for ourselves. This means taking care of ourselves.
This means putting ourselves first.
Are you a people pleaser?