It makes sense that good men do good things. And in contrast, I guess I’d have to think that bad men tend to do bad things.
I had a dream last night. A scary dream. I was living at a time in my life that I don’t like to think about. Perhaps 15 or so years ago.
A long time ago that, as each day passes, becomes more and more blurry in my mind. As it thankfully fades into the distance.
I guess there are all gradations of fear. Fear of falling off a cliff. Of drowning in a river. Or of failing badly on a test.
Of letting someone down. Or of someone letting you down.
What begins as a wondrous thing doesn’t always remain that way. Sometimes it flips from one end of the spectrum to the other and becomes monstrous.
Good & Evil:
You have to wonder if good or bad people are born that way. If evil just comes with the package. The logical explanation would be that their environment mostly creates who they become.
Researchers carried out a study on mice to see whether bad intentions can be seen forming before any negative act takes place.
And scientists may have found the root of all evil. It is the part of the brain that fires up before a violent or aggressive act is carried out.
A study found that a part of the hypothalamus which controls body temperature, hunger, and sleep activates shortly before any violence or aggression takes place.
So that is something to think about.
Fear can begin as one small stain. And then the stain can begin to spread like spilled paint. Until, sometimes, it has taken up a lot of room in your head.
Those dreams aren’t usually the exact experiences you may have had. Instead, they are emblematic of them.
Headstones Mark A Place:
Like headstones in a cemetery that mark a place, and approximate something that is underneath.
Life experiences can be wonderful things. Or unbearable things.
Things that never should have happened. But we all know that they do.
“No man is broken because bad things happen to him. He’s broken because he doesn’t keep going after those things happen.”
― Courtney Milan
Photographing My Surroundings:
This morning I went outside early and took photos of my surroundings. I never tire of doing this. My camera is a steady and beloved companion.
It is so beautiful here.
It’s like I have gone from down and out ugly surroundings (aside from my patio) to absolutely gorgeous surroundings. From one end of the scale to another.
The sun has not come out yet, and the skies are gray. I don’t know if we’re expecting more rain or not.
The rain has fallen and fallen until it has soaked into the ground and made the flowers look rather droopy and sad.
My petunias have had enough. They are looking pretty pitiful. I have one decent bloom out of them all. And it’s the one you see below.
It looks like it’s hanging its head for some reason.
A Funny Story:
I want to tell you a funny story. At my expense.
The other day I was standing at the living room patio doors looking out. To the left of me was the curtain pushed back. Each morning I do this so I can see as much of the patio as I can.
There was a bump in the curtain at the bottom near the carpet. Ivy likes to get inside the curtain next to the glass and watch the birds and squirrels.
So I stood there a while and talked to her.
Then when I turned around to go do something else, I looked down, and I hadn’t been talking to Ivy at all.
I’d been talking to a pair of shoes!
I keep one pair of sneakers there and try to remember to put them on before I step out into the muddy outdoors.
And somehow the curtain had billowed out around them.
I’ve had quite a few chuckles about that incident!
The Next Door Neighbor & The Donuts:
I told my next-door neighbor about my talking to the shoes and he asked me if the shoes answered. He’s quite the comedian.
I guess that’s one reason I like him. He always makes me laugh.
Speaking of the next-door neighbor: I was sitting out on the patio in one of my wicker chairs scoping out things to photograph this morning.
And he came walking down the sidewalk from the parking lot out in front.
He sometimes parks there if he’s planning on going somewhere else soon because it’s closer than his parking space. And he was planning on going to church.
He didn’t see me sitting there in the corner until I called out to him.
I could see he had a small bag with perhaps one donut inside it and I asked him if he’d been out buying donuts.
He said his church (which is also my daughter Kasi’s church) buys donuts for the homeless and then takes them downtown every Sunday. And he’s one of the volunteers who hand them out.
A Sobering Experience:
He told me it was “a sobering experience.” And I imagine that it was.
He’s a good man. He reads to elementary school children, hands out donuts, and volunteers his time planting vegetables at the church. No telling what else he does that I don’t know about.
I like to hear his stories. He was a helicopter pilot in Vietnam. Sometimes he tells me stories about being at war in a faraway place.
He hasn’t yet told me about his experience of helping to clean up after Katrina. But I do very much want to hear about it.
There are people who try and fail to be good because someone asks them to. And then there are people who just do good without being asked.
Those people are extraordinary in this world. Evil doesn’t seem to enter their minds. Just kindness and helping others.
I so admire that. Because if I look back, I think I’d have to say that I’ve known more bad men than good men.
And I’m glad I met the ones that were bad before I experienced what it’s like to know a good man.
Because he will stand out from the others like a beacon of hope.
And I’m proud to call him “friend.”
“The first step to be a good man is this: You must deeply feel the burden of the stones some else [is] carrying.”
– Mehmet Murat ildan
It’s nice to read that in your life now, you are surrounded by beauty and kindness!
Loved the shoe story!
It’s so nice to read about your lovely surroundings and how much you enjoy the new space. Our living areas can really affect our mental state of mind and having comfortable spaces inside and out that bring us joy and peace go a long way toward bringing balance and stability to our lives.
So loved the shoe incident!
The shoe story gave me a chuckle, too. Thanks for sharing it, Brenda. We all need more humor in our lives, don’t we? Sometimes hard to find amidst the awful things going on in our world.
I’m just so happy for you to be living in a beautiful place with nice folks around to be friends and neighbors with. You deserve it a hundred-fold.
I don’t know what causes a person to be “bad” or “good”. I think we all have both tendencies but some of us have events in our lives or specific biological/psychological factors that tip us one way or another. Hard to sort out, for sure. I think early experiences of abuse or deprivation figure largely in what kind of adult a person becomes. So many of our children’s young lives need greater protection and nurturing to prevent them becoming “bad” adults. A huge societal problem in our country that is poorly addressed. But whatever a person does in his or her little corner of the world to alleviate suffering counts. So we all can do little things in our immediate sphere of influence that matter when all counted together.
Happy Sunday.
The last two mass shootings in the US were by 18 year olds. So you have to wonder what happened in their short lives to make them so angry that they’d want to harm others. Especially innocent children.
Too funny about talking to the shoes!
I am so lucky and blessed to be married to a good man. In fact, he’s outside grilling right now and earlier he took me to two garden centers to indulge my wanting more flowers to plant. My brother-in-law is a genuinely great guy too, and so are some of my good friend’s husbands. Yes, they are out there!
You definitely are lucky, Melanie. You chose well!
No bad dreams, but trouble falling asleep since the massacre in Texas. Broken hearted for those parents and worried about my ten school age grandchildren. Finally beautiful weather here and this has me living in a fog.
Sorry to insert a bad mood here, but your cute and funny shoe story helped me. I wonder if Ivy stood aside, head cocked, thinking, “who is mom talking to?”
I know. I am heartbroken that now the number one reason for children and teens to be killed in the US is guns.
I’m blessed to be married to one of the good ones. Sometimes I think they are few and far between, but there are really more good men than bad right now. That’s not to say in the future the evil ones won’t outnumber the good ones, but I hope I never live to see that day. Women must be very careful who they give their hearts to because if they give it to an evil man, they will never be happy. I wish there was a way to tell who the evil ones are because sometimes they are well hidden under a different guise and only come out after it’s too late. I have found myself praying for the girls I know that they will find good and godly men to protect their hearts.
I grew up around women. I knew next to nothing about men. I didn’t know what to look for, never having really seen the dynamics of marriage. I know there are more good men out there, but my scope is limited because I don’t know many people in real life. I should have added that.
Well written Brenda! Funny thing about scary dreams…I was talking to the new PA I saw this past week about a strange scary dream I had that felt SO REAL…and it was very scary…I thought there was a stranger in my closet…so much so I awoke my husband with noise I was making though he said I was not loud…though I felt I was yelling. She said that is when my blood sugar plunges…so once I get awake I really need to get up and check it, in case I need to quickly eat something. I never heard such before…thought perhaps you might like to know. Maybe you never have blood sugar issues…but one can as we age you know…I do have diabetes, but usually not the scary dreams.
I think that there are some really good people in the world…but seems we often fail to find them. I am glad you found a great one to be your friend!!
Steve is truly a good one to call friend. I have kind of avoided men over the past 20 years, fearing the worst. Almost all the people I know are women. And most of them are right here!
Me three! Sue’s comment just made me laugh!
Brenda keep on smiling and laughing with your neighbors bc it’s making u feel happier every day!
Have a fantastic day everyone!
It is good to laugh. It relieves tension in the body.
I loved the story of you talking to the shoes. It made me laugh and also made my day! I’m glad you were able to have a good chuckle after having an upsetting night!
I had another similar dream last night. Maybe it’s because of the upcoming surgery in June.
And I am sure he is proud to call you friend! (Even if you talk to shoes!) And the “right” shoe, right? Sue? Have a good Sunday everyone!
If I told a doctor I’d been talking to shoes I might end up somewhere I wouldn’t want to be.
You made me laugh out loud, with your story of the shoes. It’s a good thing that silly little things can make us happy, and they sure do. Thanks for sharing and bringing a smile to my day!
I seem to do silly things a lot. But I’m able to laugh at myself.
I believe your flowers will revive and probably go on a growing streak once the sun comes back out. We were in drought conditions for the third and fourth quarters in SE Wisconsin last year from lack of rain and lack of snow. But this spring we got deluged, so much so, the severe drought label we’d been under has been lifted! Everything is just bursting forth with growth now that the warmer temperatures and sunshine has arrived (and unfortunately, high humidity as well). Unless one is suffering from certain types of mental illness, doing good or doing bad is a choice. It’s like some people see the glass “half full” and others see that same glass “half empty.” What creates and molds one’s character? Heck if I know – I’m no philosopher. I just know that even if “small” acts of kindness, even if done timidly at first, like just making brief eye contact and smiling at a person you pass on the sidewalk and giving them a nod, acknowledging their existence, makes a difference. I’ve seen it happen. Sharing a helping of your favorite casserole or brownies that you’ve baked up with a neighbor can make a world of difference. We don’t have to be rich in order to spread riches of actions on our own part. There’s an old song, I’m sure it was around when I was a teenager and I’m 70 now so it’s old, and it had lyrics in it “put a little love in your heart, and the world will be a better place.” Just think if all of us who read your blog just did those little love things once or a few times a day, what a difference it could make.
Well said! I remember that song.
At least you were talking to a pair of good companions! Well, did they answer? LOL
You’ve found some wonderful friends, Brenda!
Enjoy your Sunday!
Nope. Didn’t have a darned thing to say.
You have definitely landed in a wonderful place Brenda, I love hearing about all your neighbors, they do seem to be really nice people. When we moved 3 years ago we wondered about the neighbors but we needn’t have worried, they are all very nice, and quiet too which I like.
I’m glad. There’s nothing quite like good neighbors.
I guess when talking to the shoes, one of them was “right”.
Tee hee hee – funny!!! Got a good laugh out of that.
Me too. And I’d never have thought of that!
Lol, that’s funny!