I do believe I’ve found the perfect anger/aggression outlet for me. It is the bug zapper. I sit in one of the dining room chairs with my pink bug zapper and zap gnats that fly to the French doors.

When I want to relax, I head outside with Charlie and dead-head the petunias. I can completely zone out while doing this. When I go back inside I’m sure my blood pressure has gone down a couple of notches.

I just let my mind drift and pluck the spent flowers.

Yesterday I sat next to the French doors eating a pimento cheese sandwich with one hand and had the bug zapper in the other while watching for gnats flying to the squared windows.

Sometimes the panes are a little problematic. Not a lot of space to get my tennis racket looking zapper inside of. But I manage.

Oh, when the zapper lights up and makes that zapping sound and I know another gnat has bit the dust, it makes me unreasonably happy. I know that sounds a bit perverse.

I bought mine on Amazon.com some years ago. So I looked there and found one similar to mine. And there’s two in the pack. Double the bug-killing fun!

I do not know where these gnats come from, but they are hideous and I hate them. Just now one attempted to fly up my left nostril. That is way, way beyond the limits of acceptance in my home. Simply beyond the pale.

In a few minutes I’ll have to wake Charlie boy, who is sleeping at the foot of the recliner, and go get my zapper. I’ll sit there in my red chair and wait for that little sucker to come to the light.

“Come to the light, nasty disgusting gnat… Mama is waiting for you…”

Charlie does not like the zapper. He’s afraid of it. I wish I could make him understand that the zapper kills the dreaded gnats that are the bane of his existence.

Ivy would normally be after them, but she’s had her meal and is off napping somewhere. Sleeping on the job, as it were. Ivy picks and chooses her hours of engagement in our quest to rid ourselves of flying insects.

Ah, I didn’t even have to get up to find her. I temporarily put a pet bed on the floor behind my chair and I can’t move it now because Ivy frequently takes up residence on it. Funny how cats are about claiming something.

Yesterday I received a box of two containers of kitty litter from Chewys.com. Ivy loves the box and is in and out of that box playing. Sometimes she amuses herself by just jumping over it again and again.

I have Charlie’s most expensive heart medication on auto order at Chewys.com.

Along with the meds, I figured I’d need two containers of kitty litter a month, so I added that to the auto order last time.

But when I took the two new containers to the kitty closet, I noticed that there are already two unopened containers of kitty litter in there. So I’ll have to take it off auto order or I’ll be inundated with them.

I don’t actually need to have 80 pounds of kitty litter sitting around. Or  stumbling over.

Okay, this gnat has tried my patience beyond the breaking point. It flew right in front of this laptop and I made the mistake of clapping my hands, hoping I smashed it.

I forgot that the clapping of hands frightens Charlie even more than the sight of the gnat itself.

So I will have to get up now and go to my post beside the French doors where every gnat eventually lands.

Suckers.

“Come, come, stupid irritating little gnat. Mama is waiting…”

Ah, that instant shot of dopamine to the brain when the zapper connects is pure bliss.

 

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40 Comments

  1. I had a gnat problem and researched it. Turned out to be fruit flies which look nothing like a fly. They lay eggs in sink and tub drains. I tried the vinegar/soap liquid and it didn’t work. I also used the jar trick… didn’t work. You might want to research or you tube it.

  2. I found this DIY Thursday waiting for the doctor. I don’t want to ruin your fun killing gnats(I laughed out loud at this post), but some of our friends here might not have as much fun as you.
    Use a jar, add a few ounces of cider vinegar and a piece of fruit as bait.Roll a piece of paper into a cone and add to jar. They get in but can’t get out. I don’t know for sure if it works, but I’m going to try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

  3. Brenda, after suddenly having lots of gnats in my house recently with no idea how they got here, I did some research. I found out that mine were coming from my house plants. It seems the gnats lay their eggs in the moist potting soil. I don’t remember if you have plants inside but, if so, I think a mild hydrogen peroxide and water mixture was recommended for treating the soil. Less fun than zapping them, though!

    Sherry in Little Rock

      1. Yep, I spent nearly 20 years without houseplants while our beloved kitties were with us. I enjoy having plants again but miss our babies every single day. Another reason I enjoy pictures of your Ivy so much.

        Sherry in Little Rock

  4. Please look into a dyno trap. I ordered mine from QVC. it attracts flying insects (mosquitos, knats, stink bugs, moths). It does not attract pollinators. it is virtually quiet but you need to place it about 20 feet away from where you want to be bug free. it also needs to be plugged in. Mine is for a 1/2 acres and I have it plugged in for two weeks and my yard is bug free! We could not sit outside at night for two minutes without being annoyed with bugs……..I have not be bothered by flying bugs even while walking around in the grass at dusk! It truly is amazing…best $90 I have spent. Even our Havenese, Callie Girl, sits outside with me now!!!

  5. If you have any houseplants the little gnats may be in the soil. It happens easily, and all it takes is one getting in and laying eggs in the pot and you’ve got a whole colony. I use Neem spray if that happens. It’s organic and won’t hurt your pets.

  6. Brenda, you just never struck me as the type of girl that would love killing tiny creatures! This was so funny! My husband bought me one of those zappers and it got put away for quite some time. When I came across it I didn’t know how the battery could still be good in it so I whacked it against my own hand to find out. Oh yeah, it worked all right, felt like I might go into jerking spasms! Now you have me wondering where I put it this time. I really need some stimulation!

  7. Brenda, this is a pretty hilarious post! Expressive of all our most violent, hateful feelings toward various things. I love that you just “let it fly” in regards to those gnats! I haven’t had the gnat problem but I do have the stink bug problem and your feelings about the gnats come close to mine about the stink bugs. Sometimes it feels sooo good to just let it all out! The problem with the stink bugs is that if you kill them you have to deal with the awful smell they release. In the winter I just throw them out in the snow to freeze. That’s pretty satisfying, but doesn’t work when the weather is warmer. I just wish they would go back to Asia!

    That zapper you have looks like it would be a lot of fun to use! I would love using it on mosquitoes. With so much rain this Spring we have a bumper crop and I am severely allergic to their bites so it would be such pleasure to zap those little pests. I don’t know if it would be a good thing if my 8-yr-old grandsons got ahold of it, though. It’s just the type of thing they would love to use on each other! Have to think about that one.

  8. THE GNATINATOR,LOL
    Great post! Enjoy the hunt:)
    Hi to Ivy and Charlie from Bella and Buddy in N.Y!

  9. I, too, grinned big the whole time I was reading your post….and just put a par of these in our Amazon cart, having clicked through your site! Thank you SO much for the info and the link!!!!

    And I hear ya about the satisfaction of zapping pests (there’s a reason they’re called that!!) We’ve had one of the most stressful weeks in memory, so will really look forward to receiving these. A little extra Dopamine always helps, and I’m getting tired of buying chocolate. ?

    1. I allow myself about 10 peanut M&Ms at night while I’m reading. I’m not an affiliate with Amazon.com. I was for a short time. I just put the link there to make it easy if anyone wanted to look at the zappers. Charlie wouldn’t come in just now because he saw me cleaning and knows a bath is next. He LET IN A FLY! He’s terrified of them. I’ll be chasing that darned thing all night.

  10. As someone who lives in the Sunny South (Georgia, to be exact), I got a kick out of your doing battle with the gnat. The South has to be the gnat capital of the world! If we are having a picnic we have to make sure the pepper on our potato salad is really pepper. ?

  11. So pleasant a site looking out your French doors to your patio.
    You have done a great job decorating your home and your patio. Enjoy!

    1. I make it all pretty, my home and patio, because that too releases dopamine when I gaze at it. Once you make it pretty, it’s a free thrill ever after. I don’t go out all that much, especially won’t in this horrid humid heat. So I want to look at pretty things.

  12. I have to admit I laughed a bit too hard at this. I can see you zapping those pesky gnats! I definitely need one of those zappers and I would probably have too much fun with it.

    Love hearing your Charlie & Ivy stories. My cat climbs in every box or bag I bring home and will stay there.

    1. I was trying to get Charlie in just now and he wouldn’t move and I was cussing because his not moving caused a fly to get in. And there pops Nathan up above the fence in the yard behind my neighbor where he was cleaning a patio. Like to scared me to death. “Hi, Ms. Brenda,” he always says.

  13. I just love the way you express yourself. You make me happy reading about your day to day life. Bless you! ?

  14. Glad to know this gizmo works well. I’ve seen them and wanted to get one but wasn’t sure how well they worked. I want to murder mosquitoes and flies!!! 🙂 Love and hugs!

  15. I know..serious conversation, but you had me grinning from ear to ear…Die Bug Die!!!! I hate them too, really really hate them…

    1. They’re disgusting. Last week I was eating a Cobb salad from Chick Filet and a gnat decided to land and die in my salad. Threw the salad away. At least I got to eat most of it.

  16. B~
    are they truly gnats..
    or could they possibly be Fruit Flies?
    Bananas are notorious for drawing them!
    Lou

    1. I don’t have any fruit out. No bananas. I think maybe they’re coming in a small slit at the top of my French doors where the floor wasn’t quite level. That or they come in when Charlie does. He’s kind of arthritic and slow.

  17. I THINK I NEED TO GET A BUG ZAPPER WILL ADD THAT TO MY LIST OF USEFUL THINGS !
    ENJOY YOUR DAY AND YOUR BABIES !

  18. Have you ever tried a liquid gnat destroyer? ? Place a small amount of water in a shallow dish, add lemon juice and then cover with plastic wrap. Pierce the plastic wrap in several places. The gnats and fruit flies will enter through the tiny piercings, land in the liquid and die. Place the dish in an area that they seem to occupy the most. Good luck!

  19. Brenda I identify with your hatred for gnats. I find them around my cats’ wet cat food. I am trilled when Ivan eliminate them. These and ants drive me insane. Think I’ll consider getting a bug zapper like yours. I’m not phobic about insects but these insects are just too annoying and are prolific as well. Beautiful day here in SC. We’ve been blessed by a few wonderful summer temperatures with little to no humidity. It’s little things that I’m grateful for now. I live with severe back pain and almost died recently from a bleeding ulcer. Lost over half my blood over night. Landed in the hospital and had to have blood transfusions. Thirst impairments have made me think about what is important and what is not. I envy you a Nathan and his help to tote off things you no longer want or need. I retired and living on a fixed income. Not whining about that but it takes me a bit to save up to hire people to come and help. But.today I’m enjoying watching a pair of Cardinals tens their young. Their diligence and care is a model more human parents today need to follow. Of course, it’s driving my grey tabby, Seamus, crazy and he meows and attempts to cajole me into letting him out. Instead I feed him and he goes to sleep. If these baby Cardinals don’t grow up soon my Seamus will be obese. Hope Charlie is testing to the laser treatment. It really helped my Boxer, Dolly Dog Dobson. She seemed to enjoy wearing the goggles and when on she appeared to be laughing. Hope your weekend is full of little joys. Oh I read this that Cardinals are like fire in the snow. Now to think of a description for summer for these beautiful birds. To some they may appear common but I’m still in awe of their beauty.

  20. HaHa, lots of entertainment at your house. Brenda Wonder Woman Fly Lady Extraordinaire.
    I hate bugs and creepy crawly things. I fear snakes the most. Living in Florida we are especially mindful of them.

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