Lately I find myself turning to the color green more than any other color. I know I mention the color green and nature together quite a bit.

But there’s something else. I notice when I stare at paintings that are mostly green, or I decorate with green, or green is all around me, I feel so peaceful.

Is that a thing? Is the color green supposed to bring peace and relaxation?

Apparently it does.

Green is such a soothing color…

I learned that the color green has healing power and is understood to be the most restful and relaxing color for the human eye to view.

Green can help enhance vision, stability and endurance. Green takes up more space in the spectrum visible to the human eye and it is the dominant color in the natural.

The color green affects us physically and mentally in several different ways, according to an article about the meaning of the color green. Green is soothing, relaxing, and youthful.

Green is a color that helps alleviate anxiety, depression, and nervousness. Green also brings with it a sense of hope, health, adventure, and renewal, as well as self-control, compassion, and harmony.

“Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.” – Albert Einstein

I prefer things that are natural and not man-made.

One of my favorite things to do is to drive out into the country and look for rocks to place in my garden space. Maybe what attracts me is the color, or the shape. Maybe it’s both.

There’s heft to a rock. Substance.

I’d rather choose a rock than a sparkling diamond any day of the week.

I don’t like flashy things. Bangles on my wrist (would drive me crazy) or rings on my fingers or anything around my neck.

In fact I can’t remember the last time I even wore jewelry. I don’t like wearing things that swing around or get in the way. I am not a person that dresses up much for social occasions.

I am a complete homebody.

There is no place like home, they say. Wherever home happens to be, that’s where I’m happiest.

So I suppose that’s one reason I spread a lot of green around my space. I want to relax into it like a soft puffy cloud and have it embrace me.

This is why my ex and I didn’t really sync I suppose. He loved flashy things. Cars and watches and suits and shoes. I wanted a simpler life.

Our courtship was predominantly through phone calls and letters. We lived in different states and didn’t really get to know one another in a day to day setting.

And then when we did, we found there wasn’t all that much tying us together. Yet we remained together 13 years, somehow unable or unwilling to pronounce the relationship not just dying, but already dead.

It was a dream I didn’t want to let go of until I couldn’t wait to run away.

In the beginning there was the headiness of attraction. I so wanted to feel safe with someone. I suppose because he said he loved me I thought that he could provide that safe place for me.

But what I got with him was the very opposite of safe.

Yet it didn’t start out that way. In the beginning I felt cherished. Beloved. Something I never felt before or since.

What started out as something that at least at the onset seemed beautiful turned into a Dystopian nightmare.

There is no permanence. That’s something we have to accept. Nothing lasts forever. Safe is much like a kaleidoscope. It is ever-changing.

Sometimes I like to relive that time when I felt the very opposite of what I felt in the end, just so I know it was real. One of my favorite memories was of me running through an airport looking for his face in the crowd.

He had flown in to help me move. It was in a way the beginning and at the same time the onset of the long and drawn out end.

But it was powerful and like a shiny object that catches your eye and you find that you can’t look away.

That was a long time ago, but I still remember how I felt rushing through that airport, waiting for my eyes to light on his familiar (safe) face. Maybe we see what we want to see.

The end was ugly and nothing like the shiny object that I couldn’t look away from. Still, I can recall that heady feeling, and the things that happened later don’t have to bleach the joy out of what was.

All of these things are the chapters of my life and have validity. Memories have heft too.

Like the feel of a rock in the palm of your hand.

There will always be rocks in the road ahead of us. They will be stumbling blocks or stepping stones; it all depends on how you use them.
Friedrich Nietzsche

How does it feel?
To be without a home
With no direction home?
Like a complete unknown?
Like a rolling stone?

(Bob Dylan, Like A Rolling Stone)
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21 Comments

  1. SInce 2000 I have been fortunate to live in areas with a lot of evergreen trees…indeed what is wrong with green!! The last couple days we have driven back roads into the city for medical appt for hubby…we both agreed we were ever so glad we made that choice…no comparison to the Indy500 freeways with potential crashes every few minutes!! We decided as long as we have to go there for him, we will be doing so just as we did today. Also included 2 forty minute ferry rides…and with the lovely weather of late, just plain gorgeous!!
    Well, Brenda, as we have often written to each other…there are many hard places in life…certainly seems a healthy thing to do to remember the few happy times…even if with someone who turned out to be evil in the end. This life is short…seems we must hunt to find good places at times.

  2. My favorite colors are Blue and Green. My favorite place to go are the Redwoods and the ocean. Nothing more peaceful then sitting in the middle of a grove of Redwoods or watching the ocean waves hitting the rocks. Very relaxing.
    I have no red in my house but I do have spots of Sunflowers here and there.
    Hugs to little Charlie and Ms Ivy.
    Thank you for your blog.

  3. Hi Brenda. I found a lot to identify with in this post. Thanks for taking the time to write it.

    About rocks — years ago, someone in the family commented on a little pile of rocks in a corner of my late father-in-law’s yard. The commenter thought they were a bit of an eyesore. My father-in-law did not agree and said, “Good rocks are hard to find!” We all laughed about it and thought the comment was a bit absurd. Rocks were everywhere — how hard was it to find a rock? But I eventually realized that what he said was true as I looked for rocks to put in my flower beds. It was hard to find just what I was looking for. Right now, I have my own little pile of six or eight good rocks that I’d like to make into a little path from the back steps to the garage door. But I need a few more and it will take awhile to find them.

    I also love the color green. Last year I realized I had pretty much no green in the house. So when I painted the kitchen I chose a pale green color called Milkweed by Valspar. The room is small so there is not a lot of the color. It looks good with the white cabinets. I probably would have preferred a more blue-green to the Milkweed’s yellowish tint, but, all in all, I am happy with it.

    I like to wear a bit of jewelry. I always have on my wedding band — it’s a simple 10K gold band we got for $30 at Walmart in 2005! And I wear earrings at all times because my ears are pierced. I’ve been thinking I would like to wear a watch again. Watch sales are way down because people look at their phones to get the time. But, I get tired of pulling out my phone.

    Regarding your comments about the dream of marriage turning into a nightmare — my first marriage lasted eight years. I should have left after three months! It already was bad and so unlike our years of dating. That’s why I stayed — I kept thinking there was something I didn’t understand, something I needed to figure out and do in order for it to get better. Of course there wasn’t anything I could do because my then-husband didn’t want things to be any better. He did a lot of things to keep me off balance. At some point, my mom told me that my grandmother had said about me, “She’s living on dreams.” And it was true. I kept having daydreams about the way things were supposed to be and I hung in there trying to make the dreams come true. I really didn’t understand the reality of it all until years after the divorce. He had seemed so warm and kind before the marriage, and so cold and distant afterwards. Actually, there had been some red flags in the months right before the wedding, but I hadn’t understood at all what I was seeing. He was saying and doing some things that seemed selfish, leaving me out of some decisions that were going to affect me after the wedding, and it seemed odd. But I told myself that we’d sort it out after the wedding. Actually, I had had a previous fiance break up with me less than two months before our wedding, and I think I was fearful of it happening again so I didn’t want to make any waves. Because I didn’t make any waves, I ended up almost drowning in a very bad marriage. It was a very difficult part of my life that has left emotional scars. But, at least I don’t spend so much time in daydreams anymore. I spent a lot of years as a single mom, and eventually remarried. I am more awake in this marriage and grateful to be in it.

  4. Hi Brenda, I remember when you were nearing the end of your marriage. I started following your blog then. You should always remember the joy you felt. Joy is good to hold in your thoughts. As long s the memory doesn’t blind you to be tempted to repeat. Blessings to you Brenda, you are a survivor ,xoxo, Susie.

    1. I haven’t had a date since my divorce and I never plan to. I’ve learned this is just something I’m not good at and focus my energy on what I am good at!

      1. I love how your posts have substance at many levels and layers. It was so fun to learn more about my favorite color. Go green! I collect green pottery and glassware, my furniture, towels, linens, and most of my clothes are green too. Once I caught sight of myself walking past a full length mirror and stopped to laugh because my sweater, pants, jacket, socks, shoes, and purse were all green. After that I took more care in my clothing combinations so I wouldn’t be called “that crazy green lady!”

  5. I love green…here’s a little secret, there’s actually more green in my house than red! Red is a great pop, but green is soothing, you are right!!

  6. Greens and blues are my favorite colors, which doesn’t surprise me, considering they’re the prominent colors in nature. Trees, sky, water. In fact, looking out my living room window right now, all I can see is a mass of green from my neighbor’s trees. I love it. In the winter, of course, all I can see is her (ugly, falling apart) brown house, bare brown branches and gray skies, but I can’t dwell on that.

    Like you, I don’t like flashy or blingy things. I only wear jewelry when I go out of the house – never at home. The first thing I do when I get home from anywhere (besides taking off my shoes), is taking off my jewelry. And the older I get, the more I am about comfort in my clothes, too. When I’m at home, I wear loose, cotton “yoga” type pants and cotton shirts or t-shirts. I can’t stand anything tight or itchy. I have to cut most tags out of clothes. I bought a t-shirt at my yoga studio the other day that is the softest cotton I’ve ever felt. I can barely even feel the material on my skin. Wish I could wear this every day! LOL

  7. Brenda, something you wrote today really struck me and I will write it down to save. “…things that happened later don’t have to bleach the joy out of what was.”

  8. Perhaps that’s why I chose green for my paint color in the main part of my house? It certainly does feel peaceful, with all the houseplants as well adding to the green. Have a great weekend, Brenda – stay cool!

  9. Brenda, I heard a decorator say that green is the only color on the color wheel that matches any other shade of that particular color. I suppose that is why nature is so perfectly coordinated.

  10. I have read and heard that hospitals and mental institutions paint the walls a pale green for calmness and cool quiet. Our past experiences educate us as to what we want and need and guide our future. It’s up to us to interpret and learn from it. Sometimes human nature forgets who and what is in charge. Too late smart in some cases.
    Thank you for this thoughtful post. I have been thinking of the past more and more lately.

  11. I find myself being drawn to green as well. Especially in this heat, it’s a “cool” color. BTW, I liked your piece last week about the environmental protections being dismantled.

  12. Green is my favorite color, Brenda.
    I suppose it brings to mind, nature, landscapes, and gardens, to me.
    Wonderful words, enjoy your writing.

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