I thought you might want to know how Ivy is doing after our losing Gracie. It’s only been 5 days, but Ivy is doing well.

In fact yesterday I opened the pantry door for something and saw the canned food they’d both stopped eating. Well, Gracie would eat a bit of it but not much.

Ivy this morning

But Ivy had for weeks refused to go near it. And this is after she acted like it was the best stuff she’d ever tasted when I first gave it to her.

Ivy has just been eating only dry food for a while now.

Anyway, I put a little bit of the canned seafood on a dish as an experiment, and Ivy surprised me by lapping it up.

I was shocked. What is the deal here?

Ivy Is More Loving & Mostly Stays Near Me:

Ivy has been more loving overall.

She gets in my chair and spends a lot of time in it with me. As with any cat, she begs to be petted.

If I stop petting her, she will reach out with one of those big paws and remind me that she’s not ready for me to stop yet.

Ivy is a character. She’s calmer this week and she seems happier. That’s if you can actually tell if a cat is happy. Do you think you can? I wish Ivy could talk to me and tell me.

The Housekeeper:

The housekeeper is here now, Maria, and she’s very nice. She comes every other week after she cleans my next-door neighbor’s apartment.

I think he’s gone to do his volunteer work this morning. He’s helping an 8-year-old boy with reading. He was assigned to this child, and I assume it’s with the literacy project or something.

As he’s finding his way alone after being married for 53 years, I think this is a wonderful outlet as he’s learning to deal with his grief. And he’s helping others at the same time.

Gracie’s Ashes:

Kendra just came to the door and brought me the fabric tote that has Gracie’s ashes in it. She picked it up and brought it straight to me.

My two daughters were out of state when Charlie was cremated. I remember picking up the ashes and barely getting to the door before I fell apart and started sobbing.

So I asked Kendra to pick them up.

I thought you might be wondering how Ivy is doing since we lost kitten Gracie five days ago. I don't see any change in her really.
Ivy this morning

I was at the chiropractor yesterday and when I got home there was a message saying “Gracie is ready to be picked up.” Those words tore me up all over again.

I texted Kendra (yes, I’ve begun doing that at both my daughters’ behest) and told her. We’d already agreed that she’d do this when the time came.

Kendra said she was way too busy and it might be Wednesday or Thursday before she could get over there.

An Emotional Reaction:

This may sound crazy, but that was a thought I could not bear. I try not to ask Kendra to do much stuff because she’s so busy.

But leaving Gracie’s ashes there for just a few more days was more than I could handle.

Gracie was just a baby, and the maternal part of me was horrified at the thought that she’d be away from me that much longer.

So this morning she went there.

I’m not going to take Gracie’s ashes out of the bag Kendra handed me until Maria is gone. Because I know I will be very emotional for a while and I don’t want anyone to be around then.

It should be a private moment anyway. My baby’s ashes have come home.

Her box will be placed with the three other boxes. They are my last 3 dogs’ cremated remains. Displayed on the shelf of my office.

Where I can feel closer to them.

My Granddaughter Marley’s First Dance:

Marley, age 13

This is a photo of my granddaughter Marley at her first dance in her first little black dress. It was a sock hop at her school. It’s a terrible photo but all I have. She is on the left.

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29 Comments

  1. I’m very sorry to hear about the loss of your cat. I had a beloved cat that leapt off the bed & struck his head. He died 48 HR later. You keep your cat indoors to protect them & something still happens. I love your big Ivy. My current cat is only 9 lbs but I love a big lap cat. I got a young rescue cat that I hope will live a long time. Your kitty was young & still died. We try to save ourself from heartache but it still happens.

  2. Brenda, I’m so sorry for your loss. I adopted a cat from our animal shelter and was told she should be the only cat in our home. So Lily is the only pet we have. I’m happy your daughter brought Gracie home to you.

  3. It sounds like Ivy just wants to be with u and no other animals around her.
    Just reading this sounds like she’s happier too!

  4. Enjoy every minute with Ivy for a while (a long while) and then make a decision about another cat. I am leaning toward letting Ivy be queen of the house. LOL
    I am glad you’re finding comfort in each other.

    Your daughter is beautiful, Brenda.

  5. I’m happy Ivy is being so sweet and comforting with you. She’s a good kitty, and it’s obvious how much she loves her mama. I know Kendra has been very busy herself lately, but how nice of her to go bring you Gracious ashes right away. She knew you couldn’t go yourself, and that you needed your baby back as soon as possible. She’s a good daughter. It sounds like you are much happier with this new cleaning lady. What kind of cleaning products did she use? Did you get a chance to approve them first? One can never be too careful I suppose. I’m glad she’s able to help you out, so you don’t have to worry about that chore. Your granddaughter is beautiful! That’s funny that she thought the dance was boring. Too bad, but funny, lol. Brenda, I know other readers have sent you things in the past. I have something I’d like to send you. Do you have a PO Box address I could have?

    1. I meant Gracie’s ashes. My phone auto corrected. Sorry about that. Also, I just noticed you changed the picture at the top of all your blogs.

  6. Ivy is taking care of her mama right now by giving mama extra attention and letting her do things Ivy normally doesn’t like except when Ivy wants it – like allowing herself to be petted and encouraging mama to do it more, spending more time snuggling with mama in her chair, etc.

  7. I think Ivy would like to be the only cat. All the indications are there. We readers loved your little Gracie, too. She was a dear and so pretty.
    Can you believe that they had sock hops back in my day?—and I graduated in 1959. That is such a hoot that they still have sock hops. I love it.
    You are doing very well coping with your loss and all of us readers surround you with our caring and invisible hugs.

  8. i agree that Ivy should be the “only pet” from here on out. She suffered a loss also but I think she knew it was coming and she was being cautious. She will be much happier being the Only One.

  9. Your granddaughter is beautiful! I didn’t realize they still had sock hops!
    They grow up so fast, and you have to cherish every moment! Now Gracie is home with you and in a special place with her siblings! My thoughts are with you as you spend this time with her!

  10. Clementine is definitely more loving and clingy and needy to me ever since Monkey died. She follows me all over the place and rarely leaves my side. Sleeps next to me the entire night.

    When Zippo died a few years ago, Brian buried his body in the backyard. We have a custom grave marker from Etsy. With Monkey, we had him aqua cremated. (Didn’t know there was such a thing until this vet we used for the euthanasia told us that was one of our choices.) So I now have his ashes, but we will bury most of them in a gravesite by Zippo. We also have a custom marker for his gravesite, too. We will do the same with Clementine when she passes. The area in our backyard we are using as a pet memorial garden has catmint in it, as well as some other plants. We wanted to use Forget-Me-Nots but couldn’t find any. Maybe I should start some from seed indoors and transplant them.

  11. As much as I’d like to see another homeless cat get a loving home with you, I reluctantly have to concede that Ivy is an “only cat” personality, and another might never find welcome in your home.
    If you were to change your mind, you could agree to foster one to check compatibility with the resident princess! Or maybe a male cat would meet her royal approval?
    Also, when one of my six cats recently died, another one who usually preferred being in the background stepped up significantly. Joins me on the couch now frequently and vigorously demands petting. Very similar to what you’re experiencing with Ivy. Cats. Go figure!

  12. Bringing the ashes home is always hard…Hugs to you💓
    Your granddaughter is a beautiful young lady! They look like they’re having fun.

    1. When I went to get Charlie’s ashes, I told Kendra I barely made it to the door before sobbing. I don’t move so fast in a boot and you know I don’t like people looking at me. You know people would have looked at me if I fell apart like that.

  13. Ivy is very intuitive. I wonder if that will develop more? I’m glad Kendra was able to bring Gracie’s ashes to you quickly. I know how hard it must be for you. This was a very shocking event. Thank you for sharing Marley’s picture. Happy girls just as it should be.

  14. Brenda, It was very nice of Kendra to get Gracie to you right away. I’m sure she understands your mother’s heart. I was wondering if perhaps Gracie was ailing her whole life and that is why Ivy had such a hard time warming up to her. So many of your commenters mentioned that sixth sense animals have. Poor little Gracie. I’m glad she is home with her Mama. Marley is just beautiful. I love the picture of her and her friend. I hope they had a magical time at their first dance. Be at peace Brenda. Thinking of you and praying for you. Sandra

    1. I just don’t know. Never had thought of one cat sensing another cat’s illness till you all started mentioning it in the comments.

  15. Wouldn’t you love to be able to have a conversation with Ivy and really understand her previous and present behaviors. Amazing animals, these kitty cats. Also, your granddaughter is so pretty.

  16. I think it should be just you and Ivy. Ivy seems to do well with you as her only. But I do think animals have that instinct that something is wrong for sure. We had an 18 month old dog that died out of the blue, so I understand. I’m glad you have Gracie Mae back. Sad time, but know Ivy is there with you and loving you!

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