Yesterday I stood on the back step of the patio and looked up at the sky. It was like a blanket. A smooth gray velvet surface that made me want to touch its softness.
Last night it erupted into a rain shower. Rain is like moody music you play over and over again just to hear the soft chords deliver a familiar song.
Growth Of Self:
Sometimes I feel that I plunged on ahead before I could grow into a certain place in time. That I somehow missed a step somewhere along the way.
I think in some ways I’m stuck there. And over the many years of my life, the path feels like it abruptly ended in that place.
And there was no bridge to get me to the other side.
When I was young I did a lot of things I’m not proud of.
I threw everything out there. My anger was a cloud of confetti raining down, spilling over everyone within reach.
No one was there to catch me if I fell. And I fell many times before I became an adult. Until I managed to fit a stone in the broken sidewalk for a path forward.
Still, that step I missed is like walking down rickety stairs to a dark basement. Like that scary moment everything around you is black and your foot can’t find sure ground.
And so I stand there, one foot dangling in the air, afraid to move forward. Fearing there will be nothing solid to catch me.
Now the rain has turned to snow, I see as I gaze out the French doors.
Change always happens without your consent. There is no pause to let you catch your breath. Time moves on and takes you with it.
As it continues to snow, I am inside with my beloved pets and we’re warm and comfy. You can’t ask for more than that.
“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” ― Søren Kierkegaard