Today I woke up feeling like I’d just gone to bed. Many nights are like that because Charlie wakes me up often wanting to go outside. Most nights it’s because Charlie wakes up coughing and wants to go outside to fresh air where he feels better.

Even after I drink my cup of coffee I still feel like I have one foot in this world and one foot in some vague ether world.

Lately he’s been obsessed with something over by the alley adjoining the fence that separates me from my neighbor. In that particular corner something calls to Charlie.

I know because his tail is twitching like a metronome. And that always means he sees something that excites him.

Friend or foe, I have no idea what this is. The weeds on the other side of the fence are thick and high.

The guy living behind me lets weeds grow tall and push through my fence where I have to deal with them. He is not exactly a pleasant sort of fellow and we try our best to ignore one another.

I curse him under my breath as I am forced to pull his tall weedy mess through the slats of the fence before it completely encroaches upon my garden.

So whatever this is is on the other side of the fence in those weeds he won’t bother to pull.

Charlie wants out there to whatever he knows is there. In the past it has been a possum. But they’re always up high on the fence. This is down low. Whatever it is does not make a sound.

We will come inside, usually only if I pick him up and carry him, and pretty soon he’s barking at me insistently to go out again. I end up time after time having to hunt him down in the shadows and then carry him back in.

Finding words this morning is much like straining alphabet soup through a colander while swiping at cobwebs in my brain.

Such is the life of a pet mom. Comes with the territory. Whether sleep has evaded me once again, I am here in the light of a new day, putting one foot in front of the other.

If only I was a daytime napper. But I’m not and no amount of trying brings sleep as long as it’s light outside.

All I can do is hope that tonight brings a long and dreamless sleep that gives me the rest my body craves. But I kind of doubt that’s going to happen, given the many nights preceding it.

And when there’s really nothing left to say, I often rely on: It is what it is.

“I’ve always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.”

― David Benioff, City of Thieves

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  1. Brenda, I hope that you at least rest today, just sit, relax and be still, sometimes that helps alleviate the sleepless nights.

    I am tired today, actually I have been bone weary all week. I feel helpless and overwhelmed with all that is happening in the world. I can’t see an end in sight. Change does not happen overnight and what is happening doesn’t seem like it is going to help.

    Thank you for coming to visit my blog, it is always nice to see your face! I hope that you take care of yourself, Charlie and Ivy.

  2. I’m not much of a daytime napper either, Brenda. I have to be REALLY exhausted or else not feeling well to nap during the daytime. And, of course, it’s easier in winter too, when the skies are gray and dark.

    Both neighbors on either side of us have wooden fences and neither one of them takes care of their yard. We have Creeping Charlie from both sides coming through and under the fence that starts overtaking my garden beds, so I’m always on my hands and knees trying to pull it. I guess some people just don’t care about their yards, which is sad. And it’s aggravating for those of us who do!

  3. Perhaps you are philosophically opposed to using something like Round-Up, but I would spray the heck out of those intruding weeds and also pour some down into the ground by the bottom of the fence where the weeds are growing on the other side. Kill them once and for all and stop wasting your time trying to pull them from between the patio slats. If you object to Round-Up, there are homemade concoctions that will also kill weeds along with water – I think one mix uses nothing more than vinegar and salt plus water. Some mixtures use Epsom Salts. It’s past the time now for baby bunnies and other ground-mound animals to have their offspring, so you would be safe to use it, they will just run away elsewhere if that is what it is that’s attracting Charlie to want to go outside constantly and explore that area.

    1. Please don’t use Round-Up. There’s plenty of reasons (including cancer) why it’s banned in most other countries, including Canada. It also kills all sorts of wildlife.

    2. yes, I was thinking you should use vinegar. Pour it onto the roots and in that area of the soil. It should make it a place weeds do not want to grow and might be cheaper than anything but salt. That i s what I would do.

  4. I have read and read again that sentence. “…straining alphabet soup through a collander while swiping at cobwebs in my brain.” It is such a visual play on words. It describes how most days are for me yet said in such a way that I know it to precisely and perfectly described. I admire your use of words.
    Your blog means much to me. Thank you.

    1. I liked that sentence about alphabet soup and cobwebs also. My husband asked me the other day if I knew the difference between spider webs and cobwebs. I told him that I always thought that cobwebs were spider webs covered in dust, but I wasn’t sure if that was true. I said I had no idea why they were called cobwebs. So, your post has prompted me to finally look up the word cobweb and yes, they are old spider webs that have become coated with dust. And the word cobweb means spiderweb, really, because the “cob” part is from an old English word for spiders, coppe.

  5. It more than likely is a opossum, we had them in our yard and they seem to like to hang around the fence! I think fox urine is supposed to be a good deterrent!

  6. Maybe Charlie smells some quiet little creature such as a toad. I used to not be able to take a nap. I would lay there thinking of what I should be doing. If I did fall asleep, I woke up in 10 minutes and felt like someone had drugged me. I felt groggy the rest of the day and it was really unpleasant. So I just avoided naps until I hit my 60s. I sometimes wake up way too early and I go ahead and get up. Then later in the day I feel tired and I’ve found I can fall asleep for a half hour and wake up feeling refreshed. I don’t know why things have changed but I don’t mind. I hope you can figure out a way to either nap or keep Charlie from wanting to go out so much.

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