Poem I Found On The Internet
This is a poem I found on the internet that I wanted to share with you. It says it was written by Heidi Priebe.
To love someone long-term is to attend a thousand funerals of the people they used to be
The people they’re too exhausted to be any longer
The people they don’t recognize inside themselves anymore
The people they grew out of, the people they never ended up growing into
We so badly want the people we love to get their spark back when it burns out; to become speedily found when they are lost
But it is not our job to hold anyone accountable to the people they used to be
It is our job to travel with them between each version and to honor what emerges along the way
Sometimes it will be an even more luminescent flame
Sometimes it will be a flicker that disappears
And temporarily floods the room with a perfect and necessary darkness
What Do Those Words Say?
Upon reading this, what do those words say to you?
To some people a rainy day seems gray and disappointing. To others it is the joy and realization that nature is providing nourishment to seedlings.
What we hear and think and what someone else hears and thinks can be diametrically opposed. We hear and think and feel through the lens of our own unique experience.
What happened to us when we were young, be it happy or traumatic, often lays the pathway for how and why we respond forever forward.
To one person, darkness may mean the time that the stars shine brightly. And to another, it can mean a time when bad things happened to them.
Why do some people seem to be lucky and given so much? While others are handed one disappointment right after the other when they started out with little?
Do you think there is a reason for such things, or is it all totally random? Some people just happen to be in the right place at the right time. And others are in the wrong place at the wrong time.
The Why Of Things:
Why are some children handed a happy and cohesive family?
While others struggle through the system and are then thrust out at 18 with nothing to show for it.
Our experiences uniquely shape us.
Why do some people take sad experiences and use them in an attempt to help others? While others take an automatic weapon into a place full of life and begin to extinguish it.
Some think it is their place to keep others in line whenever possible.
I was always told that if you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say anything. I try to hold myself to that.
There are those who comment on blogs with negative words, and that is their right. But if someone puts themselves out there, then isn’t it our job to listen? And if we must, to quietly disagree?
In 14 years I have seen all kinds of comments and meanness. But I’ve also seen truly, lovely people who I appreciate all the more.
There is something a bit terrifying about putting words out into the universe and having no idea how they will land.
That is why I say that we all see life through our own unique lens. Our reactions, how we respond, comes from a lifetime of experiences that has formed how we now view things.
Adapting:
But you adapt. Humans adapt. All beings adapt.
Meanness is the kind of thing that quiets a voice. Someone will always find a way to turn your words around and twist them inside out.
It seems to me that those who respond with sharp words are the ones who must surely have been shaped by a dismal and empty childhood. And that may make them feel the need to strike out whenever and wherever they can.
We can surely understand that, can’t we?
I read that “walking on eggshells” is a metaphor that is often used when describing a feeling of being trapped by another’s will. And when our own voice is silenced.
Tiptoe around, tread carefully, treat with kid gloves, watch your step, think twice, guard against, proceed with caution, handle with care.
If we do all this, we cannot be our true selves. We will truly be silenced.
It’s up to you and me whether we walk in darkness. Or alternatively, walk on sunshine.
I loved the poem Brenda and will be keeping it in my files to look at. So much sadness in this world at the moment and your post was just so poignant, with its reflective touch. Love reading here!
Your analysis of this poem really hit home for me today.
Remarkable poem and your remarks…good job, Brenda!! Having now been married to the same guy for over 50 years, I can agree, that yes, we do change as we go, and in some ways we remain the same and as spouses we do have to adapt to each change, mourn some that go on by, and yet look ahead to the future, here and eternity as well. Yes, those of us who endured abuse when young do carry those scars forever. But it does not need to be the end all of all things either. But some seem to not have nearly anyone, or sometimes absolutely no one to help them, love them, applaud them, love them. I also had that, thankfully, and am so grateful. One of my friends has never had anyone who really has loved her much, yet I have no real reason for that…luck of the draw? But I do my best to love and care for her. What else can a person do? I wish I could change her life. But all I can do is try to support her. I do not expect to ever understand every last thing that has come to my life, good or bad. Not in this life. I think in the next life things will be made more plain, if it is important then. How can the created totally understand all that the Creator has allowed to happen? How can anyone really understand pure evil? Don’t think it is all attributable to bad parenting or evil events even…there are some who seem to have been born evil. Even in near perfect families. I like to think some of us have risen above the cruelties dealt us. But in my case, any good I am is from GOD and the love I have been given along the way. Seems to me, whenever a totally evil person does such as happened this week, all we can do is go out of our way even more to try to care for others. Each in our own small ways. And to comfort the grieving if we can too!!
I’ll be honest, the poem didn’t make sense to me. At first I thought it was talking about remembering deceased friends/loved ones, but then it didn’t seem like that was what it was about at all, it was more just a sort of rant and then “oh well, this is what we have to deal with, so do your best” or something like that. I don’t think I “got it,” but I’m okay with that. I was a drama queen and diva type when I was in my 20s and went through all the angst, doom, gloom, broken hearts galore, battles for love, epic break-ups, all that jazz. Looking back on all of that, it makes me laugh at myself. I’m 71 now and have lost many people to death whom I loved dearly. I mourned, I remember, I smile, sometimes I dream about them, sometimes I cry. But what’s the point about forever having my head turned backward when I’m still here and who knows what forward will hold tomorrow? You keep moving forward and see what’s there.
Brenda, this is in regard to yesterday’s post, but thought you would like this. I was looking for the “ICE” vinyl sticker, but instead I found on Etsy, refrigerator or probably would work for a freezer, same size, called a “refrigerator wrap vinyl.” If you search on Etsy those 3 words you will see beautfiul wraps (I think they are). Just an idea you may want to check out.
I think I’ve also seen people cover refrigerators with peel-and-stick wallpaper, a solid color on the sides and a pattern on the doors. Just a thought.
Brenda,
what an amazing find; that poem! I am archiving it, so it will be shared.
Your reflections on how children adapt so differently to situations struck home. I have two younger sisters and we all are completely different. The youngest is spoiled and self-absorbed and can be very vindictive. Once at the end of a family function; I lost my temper with her. I own my temper and I prefer to walk away and let it go. BUT, sometimes people need a good old fashioned verbal reckoning. It was brutally honest and she is very careful about pushing things in front of me. I have suggested counseling to her. She needs it badly!
A very powerful message. Thank you for this lovely post and words to live by.
Loved today’s post. I see so much sadness in today’s world. But I choose to be happy.
You have such a knack with words Brenda. I love your posts about meaning in life and how we all adapt in different ways. I sometimes wonder if all the violence on tv shows and in games people do on devices plays in a role in our mental beings.
Brilliant words…
Yesterday’s school shooting made me think about how one miserable person can cause lifelong grief to so many more.
Beautiful poem, such tenderness.
what you said today is so true for me i take one day at a time and enjoy the day what every it throws at me
Powerful and heartfelt words, Brenda!
I like to walk on sunshine however in the words of the late, great Maya Angelou “When people show you who they are, believe them”. We are who we are shaped by things others know nothing about. I’m a firm believer that if you want me to accept you then please know that I expect you to accept me. And, if that’s not possible it’s simply ok as we travel in different directions.
Enjoy your Tuesday!