The rain has paused for a bit. Sure is cold.
Colder when I’m sitting here with a large ice back along much of my back. Ah well, next will be heat. And that fireplace is churning out warmth about 4 feet away.
Woke up this morning stiff as a board, as my Granny would say. I gingerly stood up and walked like a robot. Took care of the pets’ needs, had a bowl of cereal and my cup of coffee.
Went about like I was walking on a stretch of land minds.
I’m thinking I’d better get more groceries in here by the end of the week. Either I’ll be able to walk through the store and get them myself. Or I’ll sign back up for a delivery service. I’m thankful for that option if needed.
The hardest part of grocery shopping is lugging those heavy sacks to my apartment.
Last time I wanted to make fewer trips and carried about 4-5 in one hand at a time. I see now that that was not wise. Live and learn.
Learning To Take It Easy Isn’t Easy:
When you’re getting about well you don’t really think of those things. No, if you’re nimble and pain free, you just do what seems most practical.
It’s only later when you’re barely walking that you look back and regret your actions.
Ah well, there’s so much regret in life. Most of it needless.
What did regret ever do for anyone except make you relive your actions over and over again? Maybe make you think twice next time.
But does it help matters?
No. And wallowing around in a sea of regret takes away from the current moment. I learned long ago that one must live in the moment. Though I don’t always heed my own advice.
That Thing Called Regret:
If regret would fix some of the massive mistakes and horrible decisions I’ve made in life, I’d be the first in line to sign up.
“When you make a ‘mistake’, don’t look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. ‘Mistakes’ are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power.” – Hugh White
It could be something as simple as needlessly injuring myself. Or it could be something far worse, like marrying someone you never should have married.
It’s only been these 9 years of being by myself that I’ve learned so much. Maybe it takes being by yourself for the clarity of a situation to become crystal clear.
No other voices in the mix. No acrimony or ugly words said and exchanged. Just the silence that allows the clear thoughts to rise to the surface of your consciousness.
You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over. – Richard Branson
Those Who Haven’t Been Tested:
Really, sometimes I pity people who have had an easy smooth surface to glide along on. A road with no pot holes and nails to become enmeshed in their tires.
They probably think people like me, who took years to learn from my mistakes, are daft. Or terribly hardheaded.
Maybe they think they’re simply more intelligent than most. Better equipped to make the right choices.
I’ve got news for them. Yes, they may be smarter than me emotionally. They may have successfully rounded the curves without their tires veering over the side.
But if you haven’t had a bad stretch of road yet, you don’t know what those potholes feel like when your tires hit them. You don’t feel the jolt in your spine.
If you’ve been fortunate enough to have an easier, smoother life than most, you might feel superior. But if you haven’t truly been tested, you don’t know what you’d do in a given situation.
You don’t know if you’d be blinded by emotions or get swept up in that giddy headiness of feeling loved. Because all of that muddies the waters.
Learning From Your Mistakes:
I guess sometimes you just have to knock your head against the wall repeatedly before the answers are laid bare.
“Many times what we perceive as an error or failure is actually a gift. And eventually we find that lessons learned from that discouraging experience prove to be of great worth.” – Richelle E. Goodrich
It’s raining again.
I shall look at it as a gift from nature, not annoyance after so many days of it. I have to remind myself that the rain sweeps away the dust that obscures our vision.
It seems to make the slate clean again.