I’m waiting on my Shipt order to be delivered. I only order groceries about once per month and just order double what I might need till the next month. And I get takeout much of the time too, mostly due to the state of my back.

I don’t know what I’d do if we didn’t have grocery delivery now.

You know I was thinking back to the “olden days.” When we didn’t have cell phones and drove cars the size of boats and were just up a creek without a paddle should something happen to our vehicles in the middle of nowhere.

Physical Therapy:

Yesterday I went to PT, as I do every Monday and Wednsday. Charlie goes on Tuesdays so we’re pretty busy the first of the week.

I thought maybe, just maybe, I might be able after PT to at least pop into Trader Joe’s for fresh fruit. I can usually manage there because it’s a small store.

But I walked out of PT pretty much as I walked in. So delicately it must have looked like I had a bomb strapped to me. My nerves in my back are so irritated now that I can’t seem to get out of this cycle of pain.

I was doing pretty well. But then they add more exercises and I just don’t seem to be able to handle that right now. So we’ve scaled way back to the exercises I was doing in the beginning.

And therefore I order everything I possibly can to be delivered.

So Still Outside:

It is still outside my windows. As though nature sniffs trouble in the air and is as silent and unmoving as possible. The birds are flying around, but the tree branches are just barely shifting in the air.

Not expecting any bad weather here. But isn’t that the oddest sensation when the world just seems to be hermetically sealed by some outside force?

Ivy is even sitting still as a stone waiting for a bird to light somewhere in the front or the back so she can pounce to that window and act appropriately outraged.

What I’m Reading:

I’m reading this memoir called “Smacked” by Eileen Zimmerman. It is about her ex-husband, the father of her children, who died due to drug addiction.

He was brilliant, had a Ph.D in chemistry, and then went to law school, where he excelled and graduated at the top of his class.

And suddenly he spirals out of control with IV drugs. She and her children watched in horror as he lost weight and began to look so sick, having no idea he was a drug addict.

On the night he died and Eileen found him, she was aghast when the medical examiner told her of the signs of drug use on his body. Of the drug paraphernalia scattered about his home.

Drug Addiction Can Happen To Anyone:

But, she kept telling her, he was an attorney.

She pointed to the house where the various police and dedicated officials roamed. Staring at the ambulance that was no longer in a hurry because he could not be resuscitated.

“But he’s rich,” she announced emphatically. “He’s a successful attorney and many people depend on him.” Which sounded ridiculous of course, but that’s what she was thinking.

People like Peter weren’t drug addicts, she kept thinking. Eileen’s idea of a drug addict was a sketchy individual hovering in an alleyway waiting for a fix. They weren’t people who lived lavish lifestyles and made tons of money. That just did not compute for her.

But drug addiction can happen to anyone, the rich, the poor and the in-between. And we lose so many because of this epidemic. Probably many of you know someone who lost someone to drug addiction.

Here are some alarming statistics from disturbmenot.co for 2021.

Top 10 Important Addiction Statistics

  • Only 10% of Americans dealing with addiction receive treatment.
  • 4% of American teenagers struggle with a form of substance use disorder. 
  • 14.8% of young adults struggle with at least one form of substance use disorder.
  • 1 in every 16 adults reported having a substance use disorder (SUD) in 2017.
  • Meth is currently used by approximately 897,000 teenagers and adults in America. 
  • Approximately 5 million Americans regularly use cocaine.
  • Around 34 million Americans smoke cigarettes. 
  • Approximately 2,200 individuals in the US die each year due to alcohol poisoning.
  • The number of opioid overdoses in big cities has risen by 54% in 16 states.
  • Approximately 4.1 million adults in America over 12 years of age struggled with a marijuana use disorder in 2017.

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  1. Your back pain after PT worries me. I injured my back about 10 yrs ago…torn cartilage & a bulging disc. My dr recommended therapy & it was the best thing I could have done. But my PT told me I should feel better after therapy…not worse. Initially I could walk to my car after therapy almost pain free but was in pretty bad pain by the time I got home. The good feeling lasted a little longer each visit as I healed …They did not have me do any exercises at all until I was healed enough. My PT said if my pain increased we were doing something wrong & I needed to stop. The first month was deep tissue massage, heat, ice & very, very gentle stretching. Are you taking anything for pain? Or a muscle relaxer?

    If I’m overstepping please forgive me. I’m a new follower to your blog but I understand just how overwhelming back pain can be. To me it’s the worst pain I’ve ever endured & can be super depressing. (I’ve had 3 major surgeries) I do hope you begin to feel better soon. Be very open with your PT about what you’re feeling. They need to know so they can help you. I peppered mine with questions constantly…how should this feel? am I doing it right? this happened at home when I tried this stretch…why? Take advantage to learn everything you can about how to care for your back in the future.

    Sadly the book seems familiar to me. My best friend lost her husband to alcoholism a couple of years ago. They were both such dear friends…we vacationed together when we were young. I think none of us should think we would never be able to fall that low….we just don’t know. We all have something that overwhelms us & pushes us to despair.

  2. It DOES destroy so many promising lives, this drug problem!! One of my best friends had a son who was the most astounding artist and musician you can imagine…he has lived most of his adult life in prison, all because of his addiction. Harmless to others, as he never sold it to anyone else, but unable to leave it alone!! SO VERY SAD!! I believe her sorrow over him, sent her to her grave early. Another very hidden problem is pornography…which I wish had not taken such a huge toll on our family!!

  3. I’m glad you use Shipt and save your back some trouble. I deal with back pain daily even after back surgery. The surgery helped but it was not a cure. I take Krill oil capsules to help the Inflammation and Tylenol and just fo what I can. I’ve lost my sense of balance and now have to use a walker. I’m not complaining because I know there are others with so much worse. I do have empathy though for back pain. It’s a bit miserable. I hope you recover soon. Rest your back when you can and take breaks as needed.

  4. I am so sorry you are not getting much relief for your back Brenda. It does take time, I know that is not much consolation.
    Simon has had help from a chiropractor at times and I have been to therapy for my back a few years ago, they just didn’t know what to do with me so I stopped going and eventually it got better on its own.

  5. I have used SHIPT for three years because of mobility issues. All my heavy, and bulky items come right to me. I have had contentious shoppers who have provided a wonderful service for me. It allows me to occasionally do a store trip for enjoyment, not necessity.
    I’m so sorry your pain is so prevalent in so many different areas of your body.
    You have a determined spirit, and giving in to our limitations is so discouraging.
    Take good care of yourself, and know you have so many people who care about you.
    You provide friendship, and inspiration, to us all. We’re all in this together, whether we’re local, or have never met in person. We all care, about you, and one another. Thank you.

  6. After I had knee surgery last spring I went for physical therapy. After a few weeks both the therapist and myself decided that the therapy was causing me more pain than I had when I started so we cancelled the rest of my appointments. About two months later the doctor asked if I’d like to try again and I did with good results. Sometimes our bodies are just not able to handle what everybody else can handle and we need to make adjustments. Some therapy that your body can handle is better than no therapy at all. Do what is good for you.

    1. Very sound advice. No one but you knows what your physical, and emotional state from constant pain is but you. Keeping on pushing just doesn’t make good sense to me.
      Sometimes you just need a break, and then you can come back with renewed determination.
      I’m glad your health care professionals worked with you.
      Best wishes Brenda, that you find what works for you.

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