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Slow Going & A Novel About Sociopaths

For the last few days, it has been hard to walk as much as I was, so it’s slow going.

It’s a setback. There will probably be more than a few, so I’m learning to accept them and move on.

How am I supposed to make improvements if I don’t try? But when I try harder, I never know when the next step is going to be a step too far.

I feel like I’m taking a trip without a map. I have no idea which direction will actually take me to my destination. It’s like walking toward you know not what in the dark.

I have come to hate this knee scooter. Yet I depend on it totally.

What I’m Reading:

I’m reading a good book by Lisa Scottoline called “Every Fifteen Minutes.”

Here is the beginning of this book:

I’m a sociopath. I look normal, but I’m not. I’m smarter, better, and freer, because I’m not bound by rules, law, emotion, or regard for you.

I can read you almost immediately, get your number right away, and push your buttons to make you do whatever I want. I don’t really like you, but I’m so good at acting as if I do that it’s basically the same thing. To you.

I fool you.

I fool everybody.

I’ve read that one out of twenty-four people is a sociopath, and if you ask me, the other twenty-three of you should be worried. One out of twenty-four people is 4 percent of the population, and that’s a lot of sociopaths.

Anorexics are 3 percent, and everybody talks about them. Schizophrenics are only 1 percent, but they get all the press. No one’s paying attention to sociopaths, or they think we’re all killers, which is a misconception.

It’s not being paranoid to worry about us. You should be more paranoid than you are. Your typical suburban mom worries all the time, but she worries about the wrong things.

Because she doesn’t worry about me.

People think evil exists in the form of terrorists, murderers, and ruthless dictators, but not in “normal” people like me. They don’t realize that evil exists on their street.

Works in the cubicle next to them. Chats with them at the checkout line at CVS. Reads a paperback on the train next to them. Runs on a treadmill at their gym.

Or marries their daughter.

***

Better To Be Prepared:

Scary, huh? I’m almost finished reading it.

The book is about the various characters, never naming the sociopath as such. So I’m wondering what will happen at the end.

I used to have a book called “The Sociopath Next Door”, but I can’t find it.

I’m considering ordering a book called “Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned.” This poor woman was married to the man for 20 years before totally figuring out what she was up against.

I’ve written about sociopaths before.

I figure it’s better to be prepared for a situation than to be ignorant of the sociopath’s traits.

If the sound of this book depresses or scares you, then that’s actually good. Because you should have some defense against such ruthless yet charming characters.

And yes, they are all around you. You just don’t know who they are.

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35 Comments

  2. As I get older/ I just stay home, leaving only when I have to….been hurt to much by so call friends and really, I am my own best friend… continued prayers for your healing…

    1. Home is where I’m happiest. Lots of angry people out there. Sometimes you don’t have to say a thing before they start in on you. Have had that happen when wearing a mask.

  3. No thanks to scary movies or books! I’ve had enough scary stuff happen to me and my loved ones!!!!!
    I use to be real trusting not anymore! Now I watch, listen and learn! Way too many creeps in this world!!!

  4. No, no, no, scary books are not for me, although I do like a good mystery. But this idea of sociopaths being all around us seems a little extreme to me. Does this book you are reading give us some tips about how to recognize them in spite of their ability to be convincing? What clues should someone look for? I know people who are manipulative and self-centered, seemingly incapable of having any compassion for others, but I don’t know if I would call them sociopathic. Wonder how the dictionary defines that word. Hmmmn. Something to think about.

    1. Yesterday I ordered a book by someone who studies sociopaths and has written several books. Actually she wrote “The Sociopath Next Door.” The one I ordered is her new book. I’ll pass on the info when I get it.

  5. I personally don’t know anyone who fits the description of a sociopath ~ which is a good thing!

    I don’t like scary books or movies, but I’m considering giving Stephen King’s newest book, Fairy Tale a try. I heard it’s not scary; more like a suspenseful fairy tale.

  6. I’m curious. Do you ever read anything about normal people or historical fiction, or !!!!! something funny.
    I have to admit that I don’t like the sort of books you do. What I like best is books about everyday people coping well with their problems. Or nonfiction. Just wondering.

    1. Yes, I read a lot of women’s fiction. And I do like some historical novels. I have read books that are funny. The only books I don’t read I suppose are romances and science fiction.

  7. That book sounds very good, but too scary for this wimp!
    Brenda, I’m still believing your surgery is going to be a good success. Love to Ivy.

  8. Brenda I’m not a fan of “scary” books, movies or tv shows, I do enjoy a good suspense / mystery story though….different strokes for different folks. I know you are unhappy about how long it is taking to recover from the surgery but keep telling yourself that there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. Remember the wisdom in Aesop’s Fable “The Tortoise and The Hare” plus don’t forget tortoises can live way much longer than hares.

  9. I know a bit firsthand about sociopaths. And they literally are all around us, just looking and acting like “normal” folks. It’s not a bad idea to at least have some awareness of them and to know some of the red flags – because they are expert at what they do. Your ankle has its own timeline. Keep the faith and keep moving forward one step at a time. When I want things to happen faster than they are I try to think of a military special ops phrase: “slow is smooth, smooth is fast”.

    1. People don’t like to think about it, but I think the scientists who study this are pretty accurate. Many sociopaths are CEOs or high up in government. How do people think these people are so ruthless in getting what they want? They sometimes succeed because of that trait.

  10. I’m with you Brenda I love scary books and movies. I will certainly order The Sociopath Next Door. My sister thinks I’m weird and cannot understand it at all. I have always been the same. I can’t explain why.

    I think you are making progress Brenda with your ankle; it perhaps doesn’t seem like it at times because you want it to go faster which is only natural.

    1. I know what you mean. People think I’m weird too. I used to write about all kinds of horrific crimes when I was writing long features for local newspapers. So reading fiction is easy after that!

  11. Eventually, after a few years of watching the (cable) ID Channel ,,,,,, all real murder stories ,,,, decided to stop viewing them. ALL of the shows that run 24-7. Obviously repeats also. I do miss Paula Zahn’s ,,,,, “Oh The Case” ,,,,, she is so good at narrating the various events.
    Paula is excellent Also at interviewing families, etc.
    Can very often be strange who the actual perpetrator is.
    Thankfully I gave this channel up more than 1-1/2 years ago.
    Much less nightmares.
    So ,,,,, no more scary anything. Films also.
    I try and keep things light.in this old age. 👵

    2. Actually, I don’t read or watch the true crime stuff. If there’s an article, I might read that. But I got enough of true crime when I was writing articles in my twenties.

  12. I stopped reading scary books in my early 20s. The world is scary enough as it is, and getting worse by the hour.

    1. It is getting worse by the hour. For some reason, I’ve always been drawn, however, to scary books and movies. There’s just something about curling up in a blanket and watching a scary movie that appeals to me.

  13. Wow…that book…must have been written about my daughter’s ex…they are more clever and believable than anyone normal can imagine. Problem is, after you have been their victim, trusting others is no easy trip. The worst thing for my daughter is he was able to alienate every single one of her friends except for 2…there were other old friends that he had not met in the decade they were married, so those friendships yet endure…but the huge grief at not only having to divorce, but also loosing most of your friendships…plus learning some later that not only is he a sociopath, but a pedophile…even worse!! And so clever that the justice system lets him have the kids often, as if all was normal. We pray so much for those grandkids, especially on their visits to him. It absolutely breaks our hearts!!

  14. That book sounds terrifying! And a little intriguing. Rather than read it myself, I think I’d rather just hear you tell me about it. How much different is a sociopath then someone who is controlling and manipulative? This reminds me of a movie about a suburban mom who was a killer. I don’t remember what it was called. Scary stuff! I’m sorry about your lack of progress. Actually, you ARE making progress, just not as fast as you’d like. You should make a list of all your blessings so far, and concentrate on those. Be sure to add supportive friends to your list! Since writing can be very therapeutic, you should write a pros and cons list for a blog post. Then burn your cons list, and display your pros/blessings list where you can read it everyday.

  15. I hear your frustration in your struggle to be free of encumbrances and walk again. It doesn’t seem like our body would take so long to heal with our ankles but it is truly amazing. My daughter broke up a dog fight over two years ago and still has so much trouble with her ankle and leg. One good day then two bad days.

    That book does
    kind like an interesting read. Did you get it from Amazon Prime or the Book Club?

  16. One day at a time, Brenda! Unfortunately, the surgery has taken a toll on everything that is you.
    Enjoy today, finish that very scary book (eek) and think about your next book.

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