It began snowing late yesterday afternoon. I watched the soft flurries blowing sideways by the wind and snowdrifts carpeting the ground.

This morning we have a carpet of snow. In Oklahoma, this means most will try to stay in, as we aren’t accustomed to more than a few days of snow in one calendar year.

As I prepared the kittie’s food, from various windows I saw dog walkers bent against the cold. Their dogs were excited and tugging at their leashes.

I saw birds pecking at the trees and the snow.

Listening To Piano Music:

I am listening to the CD that was already in the Crosley CD player when it was moved. I’ve listened to it quite a few times now over the past few days.

I unearthed the rest of the CDs yesterday and must find a place for them today so I can switch that one out.

I didn’t get all that much done yesterday. Looking around me, I see so very much to do.

But I tire easily these days, probably just from the strain of the move. Getting everything prepared to go and then moving here. The cold seems to be seeping into my bones.

“The man who moves a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.”

-Confucius

Tin frog attached to a tree outside

This morning as I opened the blinds behind my chair, I saw something I had not noticed before on the tree outside. This tin frog is attached to the tree bark.

As I unpack this and that, I have to adjust what I already had in place to accommodate things I had forgotten about. This is of course all part of the moving process.

Thank You For Your Kind Comments:

Your comments have meant so much to me. So many people caring about me and rooting for me who’ve never met me and probably never will.

The fact that you come to visit me here never ceases to amaze me.

“A friend may be waiting behind a stranger’s face.”

– Maya Angelou

In Snow In Oklahoma & Creating A Home, winter brown grasses near my patio

You begin a blog and don’t realize the ramifications where it may lead. That you will meet people online whom you enjoy conversing with and form friendships you never considered possible before.

This blog will be 13 years old in April, though as you know I lost the first four years. That used to bother me a lot, losing all that. But now I look at it in a different way.

Those were hard years. Married to someone I thought I knew, but obviously did not.

From 2009, when I began writing Cozy Little House until 2013, I found myself getting a divorce, moving to Tulsa to be near my girls, and trying to adjust to a new place and being single again.

Finding Myself:

Those were the years when I was struggling to ground myself. To find a place I felt comfortable. And to get my bearings.

The years when I felt myself stumbling and finding ways to right myself in a new environment.

My view outside the living room window at the apartment just across from me

Then I moved to the previous apartment in 2014. And the rest of the posts from 2013 and 2014 through 2021 were of my decorating that one-bedroom apartment and the fenced patio outside.

They were the years when I saw the complex where I lived going downhill and continuing on the decline. No new owner and there was more than one, seemed to care at all about the property.

It was distressing to watch things falling apart right in front of you.

In Snow In Oklahoma & Creating A Home, the view of my patio covered with snow

Leaving My Beloved Patio Behind:

When I left last week, I walked away from that beloved patio for the last time. I tried not to think of the raised bed where I’d planted perennials that came back every year.

I tried not to look at the various pots too big for me to handle that I had to leave behind. Come March or April, those perennials would have been coming up.

I try not to think of those plants that were well-rooted and established as I look forward and try to figure out an arrangement for my container gardens near the patio here.

I keep telling myself that life is one long road of winding curves.

That no one tends to stay in the same place and moving forward is just part of life’s journey.

“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”

-Walt Disney

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71 Comments

  1. I have enjoyed your blog since the beginning Brenda. I loved your cozy little house before the apartment & I loved your apartment patio when you had the big shady awning over it. I rarely comment but I’m always here for your next adventure! Your new garden to come will feel extra special & will be as beautiful as they all have been!
    Enjoy your new home!

  2. Now that you’ve moved there is bound to be that “let down feeling” of what do I do now? It’s your mind and body coming to accept the new situation and beginning to look forward. I’ve noticed during those times in my life I am really tired — my body just wants to veg for a bit and regain its energy level again. So take a bit of time for you and your kitties to rest — the unpacking and organizing will be much easier and more enjoyable when you’ve taken a bit of down time for yourself. And I’m sure your new patio garden will be just gorgeous as your old one … you have a knack for making things look beautiful.

  3. It’s interesting what you say about missing the garden you left behind. I guess that’s our way of literally putting down roots, even if we’re there temporarily. I think that’s what I’d miss most if I left my house — the garden and the bird feeders. You will put down roots in your new place, and I may be going out on a limb, here, but I think you will enjoy your new gardening challenge. Beautiful pictures of the snow! Stay warm, Brenda! Everything will get done in time.

  4. I felt the same when I left my marital home, Brenda – the house was one thing but boy did I hate to leave behind the gardens I had put so much love into! I still think of the hundreds and hundreds of bulbs I planted, and the weeping cherry tree that was a gift from my daughter. It makes me terribly sad that I had to walk away from it all. But my life is so much better now, I don’t have the stress and fear I lived with when I was married….everything is a trade off. You will make your new outdoor space heavenly, just as you did in your last home. Too bad you had to leave your jade tree, though!

  5. The gardens you created anywhere you’ve been – those perennials – continue to brighten the lives of the next occupants. Whomever moves into your old apartment will have the same frustrating issues you did – think of their joy, at least, when they discover the blooms come spring.

    1. Karen is right! The next person who rents your old apartment will be pleasantly surprised to find some beautiful perennials!

  6. Brenda, as my mother used to say, “no ill wind doesn’t do some good”. Although you may always miss your beloved patio please try to focus on how much easier it will be for you to transform your new patio. Less space = less wear and tear on your body. I’m sure you will do a bang up job and we all look forward to pictures of your progress.

  7. As Nancy, above, says, we are in the midst of a beautiful winter wonderland in Michigan. We must have gotten about 12 inches day before last. And it is quite lovely to look at from inside! I did brave the cold and go out for a walk with my neighbor and walking buddy, but not for very long.

    I am happy for you to be in your new place despite still having to work through the chaos. And like other readers I am looking forward to seeing what you do both inside and later in the season outside on your patio.

    Enjoy the peacefulness of being in your new environment. I think you will really begin to enjoy it when Spring comes.

  8. Brenda, enjoy your blog, read it each day. Snow pictures look like a cozy day for reading a book, and maybe some coffee. You seem to be in a happy place, know you are ready to get everything in place. Just take your time, don’t rush, take care of yourself. I know as we get older it is hard to slow down, but I have to be more careful. Still got the want to, just don’t have ability to! I look forward to how you will decorate your new home. Also, like the way you explain every step, I get so many new ideas from blogs. I can only imagine the treat your neighbors will have this spring, as they watch you transform the patio. So happy for you, take care!

  9. Dear Brenda, Thank you for being an ever present friend I can depend on everyday. I have many “friends” but you are always there sharing the good, the bad and the sad and happy. You are a blessing and I am grateful to have you in my life. Susan

  10. Loved this post today..wow..I thought that poor frog was real and the weather had gotten hold of him!!! lol Thank goodness, not. :0).. So true..we never know what life will bring..! My hub has a Bluegrass Band..and one of the songs is band title, “Never Too Late”, and lyrics include the saying, “Life’s a Journey not a Destination”, …as we all age..I think we surely figure that out..for sure..and sometimes not by choice. Take care and glad you sleep better now. Always nice to get a pretty snow; and its not very common usually, where I live, so best if we all stay put, too! ;0)

  11. Glad you have neighbors who take pride in their outside space. The little path and neighbors patios look like a nice place where you will be meeting new friends with gardening interests. It was nice to see the patio in the snow. It reminds me of a cute little village. I am so excited for you and check in every day. I know you wish all the boxes were emptied and put away but take it slow and glad to hear you are resting some.

  12. Brenda , I’ve read your blog since you lived in Texas and like so many other readers, I look forward to your pictures and decorations on a daily basis. Thanks.
    I also am moving, after living in this house for 50 years !! Due to our declining health and the lack of safety in our rural area , we are moving closer to our daughter , in her neighborhood. So we have mixed emotions. — leaving friends and our church. But I thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts and helping the rest of us move forward. Love , love your fur babies- we have 3 cats and a dog ….

  13. Hello Brenda, I dunno if my name and back story will jog your memory. In 2010 I mailed to you in Texas a off-white plain platter and a pitcher. I remember the day, and place I purchased it from. You were still living in your beautiful home in Texas. I mailed it in a beautiful box and you commented on the gift. At the time I had a preschooler. I was a widow at the time, 3 short years. The pain was too much back then. Fast forward I am happily remarried, my preschooler is a jr. In High school.
    Ive tried to keep up with your blog through the years. I myself closed out blogging years ago.
    I can’t wait to see what you do with your new sweet home.

    God bless!

    Viola

  14. You are right, Brenda that we just don’t know what life will have in store for us or where it will take us. I’ve been following your blog since you lived in Texas and you’ve always felt like a friend to me.

    I guess if you live in an area where you’re not used to snow, it somewhat “paralyzes” you for a bit because you’re not used to dealing with it. Here in Illinois, we have to just continue to go about our business like it’s any other day. But, of course, our winters are always very cold and snowy.

  15. Brenda, I am so happy that you found your camera and shared pictures. Your new home seems so much happier.
    Some times we remember the good and forget the unhappiness. Your old patio was not working. When the tree was removed the sun was too hot for your garden and flowers. I laughed when I saw the green frog you found in the tree. It matches the pillows in your patio furniture! Take a few days to think and think again your new place. I know you will not recreate your old one. I always need a plan even if I change it. Hints:
    Work from the door you use most. Move left to right, top to bottom until that area is the way you want it for now. Move clock wise to the next room and begin left to right, top to bottom. We are waiting to see your kitchen and laundry among other things. Where will Mr. Sunshine go? He may be enjoying a winter in a box.

    1. Just about have the kitchen done I think. The dining room is a mess and you can barely see the table for all that’s piled on it. I have to push stuff aside to sit down to eat. The laundry is just a stackable in the second bedroom closet. You’re right. When they removed the trees, which was necessary, my plants withered and died. You remember so much!

  16. Last night I was thinking about you and your move and thought how safe you must feel now versus the tension the old place had brought you but what really was going through my mind was how we can’t look back especially with a move. It’s like what Kim in her comments said. It’s hard as we age to look back but we must look ahead to stay healthy and you have looked ahead to being in a place your girls don’t have to worry about . They have enough to think about being young moms today! Anyways just take your sweet time unpacking and do check in with the older lady at your old place as she might want to come for a visit some day eventually and see there are better places to live your life out in.

    1. I told my neighbor that when I got things organized, I’d come get her and bring her over here to see it. Yes, I do feel safer. I no longer feel like I’m stranded out in the desert and there’s no one to call.

  17. Brenda, I’m sure you’ll be able to find some big containers again that u will love just as well. I know this patio will be just as breathtaking as your last one!
    The weather is crazy here bc it’s raining instead of snowing! Yay! I won’t have to shovel! Lol

    1. I brought two big blue pots and a big green one that we dug the dirt out of. Kendra said she took quite a bit from the patio, so maybe she took some of the pots. I know she said she strained her back just with the driftwood and the rocks.

  18. What a beautiful winter picture. I love seeing a nice blanket of undisturbed, white snow. So pretty and peaceful. Turn that fireplace you have on and snuggle up in the recliner with a book and a warm drink.
    The way to spend a perfect afternoon. I love your blog and it is the only one I read daily. We have so much in common, creating the perfect cozy nest, books, books and more books to read, loving on our furbabies and gardening. My gardening has taken on many different forms as I age, but I am happy seeing the results of my efforts. There is no better reward than to see a plant you have nurtured turn into a beautiful bloom or thick, lush foliage. I have a wooden wall hanging that says “Life is a balance of holding on, and letting go”. So true. Accepting changes though sometimes takes a little time before we see that it was for the best.

    1. I’m resting right now, which is why I am taking some time to reply to comments. Life is a series of changes, and we have to change right along with them.

  19. Brenda, I am sorry that you are sad about your patio, the good news is that when you look out now you do not have to worry about a fence falling down or a tree limb that no one will come and fix. You do not need to have to worry about an air conditioner, etc. You are in a beautiful new place and everywhere you look is something new, you are like a little seed in a garden that come spring will flower and thrive in its new garden.

    1. I’m not so much sad as I just feel like that whole place just drained me. I’ve been sleeping later than normal and I think I was worn out with worry. Worry about something happening. A snake falling from the ceiling vent. And on and on. Angry that that place was once beautiful, or so the neighbor tells me, and they just let it rot away. That is sad.

  20. What is life supposed to be about if its not learning about each other, helping each other however we can and sharing common ground in joy or sorrow? The snow is beautiful, but I have to say I am very happy that massive storm is missing my corner of southeast Wisconsin; in fact, we have barely gotten any snow at all – maybe (by a stretch), about 12 inches, some of which came in dibs and dabs that quickly melted away. You’re tired and that’s to be expected after all the stress and upheaval you’ve been through over the past couple of months, planning for the move, sorting through things, having to cull possessions and pack others up, having to leave some things behind, trying to keep sane while the stress level increased daily, and then getting that hit list from the owner of the apartment complex. Now, your body is de-stressing (or maybe it’s more correct to say un-stressing), so go with what your body is telling you. The apartment will come together. After all, you never stopped decorating your prior apartment – are we ever really “finished” doing that? Nope!

    1. I laughed when I read “hit list.” It kind of was. Haven’t heard a word from them, so we’ll see. No, we never stop decorating. We just keep changing things up.

  21. Your patio was certainly a special oasis in a big city. And I know you will have your outdoor space just as beautiful in no time. Please take your time in doing things. We all want to pics of your new home but we want you to rest easy.

    1. I keep telling Teri, who is home for a while due to the weather, that it’s hard to look around me and not feel like I should be getting up and doing something. I just hate chaos and not being able to find things.

  22. I know how hard it is to leave your garden behind- but think how happy the new tenant will be when the perennials begin to come up. What a wonderful surprise it will be for them – And who knows what may surprise you in your own new space!

    1. So true. Not many people living there even did anything on their patios. Just left them empty. My neighbor never did anything with hers. She had no interest in gardens. Her hobby is watching sports.

  23. Brenda, before I forget, I saw this and thought it might work for you, regarding your toilet situation.
    https://www.amazon.com/Toilevator%C2%A8-51105-Toilevator-Toilet-Riser/dp/B07BSXNDD7/ref=asc_df_B07BSXNDD7/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=416760819327&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5589018598108150991&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9011476&hvtargid=pla-843729783799&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=95471659578&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=416760819327&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=5589018598108150991&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9011476&hvtargid=pla-843729783799

    As for today’s post, your snow pictures are beautiful! I always love all your pictures. The nice thing about friends is that you get to pick them, and we’ve all picked you. If I weren’t so far away, I’d definately want to be friends in person and spend time together. You’re a wonderful person! And friends are always there to support each other, so even though most of us are far away, we’re all here for you. Thank you for posting everyday and giving me something to look forward too. You bring everyone so much joy. That is your gift to us. Stay warm and cozy my friend. ((Hugs))

    1. Well, I’ve never seen anything like that! I’ll show it to Kendra. She said the way the toilet is set in the floor/wall might make it difficult to replace.

  24. Years ago I had an elderly friend who lived in a nice apartment complex. As the years went by the complex went downhill. Her children and I were concerned for her safety. Her children wanted to move her closer to them, but she was fiercely independent and refused to move. She simply filled the apartment with all of the things that she loved and her children would deliver groceries and supplies to her. That little apartment was her fortress and refuge.

    1. That’s what mine was for me. But when going downhill means rats and snakes and messed up sewers, I no longer saw it as a refuge. Instead I saw it as a real problem.

  25. I read the blogs and Instagram accounts of several people……most are hit or miss, depending on how busy I am, but yours is the one that I ALWAYS feel I must read. I don’t want to miss anything that is going on in that Cozy Little House of yours! Thank you!

  26. Oh, glorious snow. How lovely. So glad this came after the move and not during. That was a blessing. Just as I think it’s a blessing that your difficult past (and I remember those years on your blog) is neatly tucked away and forgotten. Onward! One thing I don’t like about getting older is the habit we have of looking back so much. It’s not healthy for us. It stirs up regret. And regret is such a depressing thing to ponder, don’t you think? Much better to look forward to new things, new adventures and new chances.

    1. I really don’t look back much. Mostly when I have dreams about it. I do know I can now recall things from long ago but can’t recall what I had for lunch yesterday!

  27. I love today’s post! The biggest thing that excites me about your new home is the extra bedroom – a new office space out of the way but yet within reach and the new patio. Yes, it’s small but I know you’ll do wonders with it. It was time to leave the larger patio as it was becoming so much work. Now you can still have a beautiful garden that you’ll come to enjoy. The snow is beautiful. Do what you can or want today – there’s no rush!

    1. You’re right. That patio was getting to be too much for me. Lugging in all that soil, tending to things. It was getting to be where it was too much for this old broken-down body.

  28. Doesn’t your new home look so lovely this morning with the snow, Brenda? I stepped into a drift and went in up to my thighs on the way to the barn this morning. Luckily I was dressed for Antarctica! Thank you so much for the very kind things you said on yesterday’s post about my helping you. I assure it’s been my pleasure, and I just believe that when you see someone you can help, you just do it. It gives me as much satisfaction as it does you, you can be sure. I’m so glad to have made a friend like you. You’re so special to me as well as all of your readers. See you when the roads are clear and meanwhile I will get myself back to the required yearly closet purge. All I need is my regular uniform of jeans and sweatshirts. At 72, I think I can let go of the hula skirts and coconut bras lol.

    1. Teri – you have a special place in Heaven reserved just for you! You are an incredible lady and a real friend. Real friends are rare. Bless you dear lady!

    2. Hula skirts and coconut bras! The image gave me a good chuckle! You must have been a hoot in your younger years, lol! As for now, I consider you an angel! Brenda is lucky to have found such a nice friend. We all appreciate what you’ve done to help her out. You’ve been a blessing! Thank you!

    3. Teri- u are a gem and nowadays ppl like u are far and few! U took a lot of Brenda’s stress away and she’s very lucky to have u as a good friend!
      When my grands were younger I cleaned out my closet and gave them what they wanted to play dress up. Well the 3 girls anyway bc the 2 boys didn’t want any part of it! Lol
      The oldest would tell the twins what to wear and fix there hair and take pics with her phone, then the twins would do the same for their sister. They spent hrs playing dress up and of course makeup was involved.

  29. When I left my husband 8 years ago the hard part wasn’t leaving him, but leaving behind my beautiful backyard garden. In fact that is what kept me there longer than I should have stayed. My new house has no backyard but 2 front yards as the house is on the corner,,, in the last 8 years I’ve added window boxes, had the shrubs dug out and replace, expanded the beds around the house and put in a raised bed for dahlias. I now have as much if not more garden than I had before. You will find ways to make another garden area, and as a gardener you know that the planning is as much fun as the flowers. Take some time to sit and look at the see catalogs or peruse the websites… I love looking doing that… Rome wasn’t built in a day and everything worth having takes time… Take care of you !!

  30. Dear sweet brenda…I know you are sad to have left your wonderful patio and its accessories. But by this time next year, you will not recognize your beautiful patio. I bet you are already thinking about how to retrieve some of your gardening containers, especially the blue raised garden bed. I checked out the fence parts at Lowes…to do all at once would be pricey, but one could do it a side at a time, and they have a darling gate that goes with the fence. Here in central texas, we have a wintry mix…it is sleeting as we speak. But we still have power and water and plenty of food, and my wonderful neighbor is making homemade cinnamon rolls for later. I’m sitting in my craftroom and trying to clean and organize a little. Best of luck with your new place…stay well, safe, and sane, and be kind to yourself and others. Your friend, charlotte

  31. I love your new little corner of the world! I’m so happy that you’ve found this place of peace and beauty. Our reader comments and support may be a gift to you, but you are also a gift to us. Some of my days are frenzied, some are boring. Your posts are an anchor of tranquility. You don’t rush through anything and that calms me down – or excites me….whatever it is I need for the day!
    Your inside decor will be warm and charming, as usual, but I’m looking forward to see your garden area bloom, and look forward to reports of neighborly “gawkers” coming by to ooooooh! and ahhhhh! at what you’ve done. You’re going to be a celebrity in your new hood!

  32. Glad to see the beautiful snow pictures with your post this morning that’s all I like to do here in North Carolina is see pics i as well as the other readers have enjoyed reading and learning and I have I don’t buy a product without researching and checking reviews your decor tips are great I incorporated reds in my kitchen and love them take your time I know it will be a beautiful home and I have no doubt you will figure out the little patio 🤗🤗 gloria

  33. It has been said that Life is a process of letting go. We let go of things. We let go of places. We let go of people. And, one day, we will let go of life itself. When it’s hard to let go, I try to keep that perspective in mind.

  34. Brenda, I moved so many times in my early years of marriage, but there were only two houses that tugged at my heart when I left them behind. One was for good memories and the other was for very sad reasons. My mom once told me that no experience is a bad experience if you learned something from it. I have learned so very much in my 75 years. I love that you are settling in and taking your time. I was following you when you lost all your early posts. Now I wish I’d saved all those great pictures, so I could send them back to you. Oh well. It is what it is. You will make your new space magic and we will all enjoy the journey. Take care. Sandy

    1. Well, it is real. Often about ordinary boring things. But I guess it’s like a multivitamin you are used to taking every day. From both my side and your side.

  35. Beautiful post today.. brought tears to my eyes…you may not realize how much you mean to your followers…but I want you to know your blog makes my day …like the beautiful quotes you have used today your story touches my heart…and in many ways reminds me of my own story…thank you for sharing…and making these winter days brighter one day at a time 💞

  36. Sometimes a perennial needs to be transplanted in order to thrive. You will thrive in your new home. You will also be part of a bigger garden (community) and add to its beauty. You will take root and flower this year. You have so much to offer your readers—more inspiration and less anxiety and stress. Have a peaceful day and enjoy the snow. Here in Michigan, our winter wonderland is so lovely today.

  37. Brenda,
    It looks like you have landed in a nice cozy spot from your photos (which I always enjoy). I know what you mean when you write about the other places you live and leave for one reason or another. With the landscaping I have let behind, I like to think that I have helped mother nature nurture her earth and left it better than when I arrived for others to enjoy in the future. Every good thing one does counts, whether it is a tree that grows and shelters or a plant that comes back to bloom each year for others’ pure enjoyment of its beauty. You are a nurturer of nature, Brenda wherever you live. that is a gift that keeps on giving.
    Thank you for your blog! Marla

    1. I guess we do leave something of ourselves behind in gardening. A house is just a house and you put stuff in it. But a garden extends far into the future.

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