1. This post really got to me, Brenda. We can all relate to this on some level. I had to deal with it with my dad – tell him he wasn’t going home again, couldn’t drive, etc. Kendra’s posts got me all teary. You have a big heart, Brenda, putting the past behind, and showing such compassion.

  2. It’s one day at a time. Who knew life would be so short at this stage of our lives. You are so supportive of your daughters and your ex. Brenda you are a very caring person. So glad I found your blog years ago.

  3. I’m so sorry you and your girls are having to go through this. It’s so hard to watch the people you love suffer. And to have to take away their independence makes you feel bad and them frustrated. I wish you all the best of luck and patience as you navigate through this very difficult time. It’s not easy for anybody.

  4. Life is certainly full of twists and turns. My ex husband passed away at the age of 67 from cancer two weeks ago. My brother, also 67, passed away from cancer in April. A close friend’s brother passed away at age 67 in July from diabetes. It is hard to comprehend facing one’s mortality at this age. I have known
    who were active and healthy into their 80’s and 90’s. My parents passed away when I was very young so I wasn’t faced with a situation like your daughters are having to navigate. It is so heartbreaking with the combination of dementia and cancer.
    I understand your wanting to help them, but honestly, I don’t think there is much for you to do. Being available and supportive of your girls is what they need most. My eyes have definitely been opened to planning for when I get older and infirm. I also feel time is going by too quickly.

  5. And what helps him today won’t be the same tomorrow as the new “normal” keeps shifting. So proud of your girls in their taking care of their dad. Prayers for the 4 of you as you journey through this.

  6. Getting old is hard…I worry sometimes…cause our kids are far too busy just staying alive etc these crazy days…and cannot help much. But really so much of life is simply beyond our control. It is good of you to do what you can to help your daughters and EX. You have a good heart!!

  7. Yes, life goes by so fast and it can be so hard when our loved ones have dementia or sickness. My Dad is 90 and lives by himself an hour away from me. I loved growing up in the area he still lives in by it is getting so bad around there that I am glad we do not live there. He takes care of himself except since Covid I get his groceries and take him to his appointments. Our daughter and family are Military and they are moving farther away than the 4 hours away that they are now. We have no family where we are now and have lived for the past 28 years. I do love living here, it is so peaceful and quiet. It is a little town where I have no problem driving around. So I also worry about who will help us when we get older. We will have to bend in the wind as you said and move wherever our daughter ends up when her husband gets out of the military. Peace and prayers for all of our worries. Like another reader said the other day, I have caught the declutter bug that you kinda started when you organized your craft space. It feels good, thanks for the nudge!

  8. I don’t know if this would work for you but instead of using the grab bar to get out when I’m in the tub, I get on my hands and knees and then put one hand on either side of the tub and push to stand up. It works a lot better for me than trying to pull my weight up using the bar.

      1. Since we moved I’ve had to give up my tub soaks. The bathtub is smaller and I can’t turn around to get out. I tried twice and it was awful. Be careful.

  9. What a touching post. You don’t often hear how something like this affects young families like your girls are. Especially in a divorced situation so I appreciate your honesty in all you said that you feel sad for him and wish u could console him. I know from experience finding places and doctors takes time so I feel for your girls going through this and working too. I am sure listening to them share is what they need knowing your limitations.

    1. They get an oncologist and then the surgeon doesn’t send the files and thus time stops. I feel for them with all that is involved trying to get all the ducks in a row.

  10. Dianne I am glad I am not the only one. Crazy computers. Brenda’s blog comes in around 10:00 and I look forward to it every day. I am a long time reader.

  11. I cried when I read what Kendra had written on Facebook about her Dad. I lost my Dad just a few months ago and the circumstances and conversations with my Dad were so similar. My heart ached when I had to make critical decisions about my Dad because he had always been so strong and “in charge”. Some of the things he said in his last days, oh my goodness. My siblings and I laughed and cried when sharing our visit updates. He was a pistol, but we loved him so much!

    1. I cry every single time I read it. And I keep reading it I suppose because I feel the need to help her, and she’s not here to help. They’re both busy and I rarely see them.

  12. Well that was really sad…tears in my eyes.. Someone I love has dementia…a life changing diagnosis that changes everything and takes away beautiful memories…one day at a time…love to your family as they navigate this and hugs to you💕

  13. This thing called Life is not for the faint of heart! Just as getting old is not for sissies.
    The world is changing faster than we ever imagined just as life is changing. A friend and I were discussing how so much has changed in the last three years. Something as simple as shopping has changed immensely for me. I’ve always been a homebody but now I seldom go anywhere, and I like it this way. A neighbor called me a hermit and suggested I work on it. I’m not sure how I live affects her – I’m very happy.
    I hope things go well for your daughters and their dad.

    1. Tell the neighbor not to worry; you’re happy. People tend to think that those like us are depressed. No, we’re just homebodies.

  14. I have resubscribed to your blog. I have not received a post in several days. I was worried something had happened to you. Not sure why I keep getting knocked off.
    Take care

    1. I think I fixed it. What usually goes wrong is that instead of putting the email in the Trash, it goes into Spam. If it goes into Spam it takes your email off the list. Think it’s a safety feature of sorts.

  15. Oh Brenda, it is so sad to see someone go through that. Especially since it is your kids father. Also your situation is restricted which makes it hard to help anyone. And I know you have a good heart and would like to be able to help them with their dad. And as I get older and look around it feels like time is just flying by and we will be in that place sooner than later. It is sad! But we just have to take one day at a time and try not to worry about what the future holds for us. Take care of yourself.

    1. Almost every night when I turn the light off to sleep I think about how fast every day goes by.

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