This morning I am listening to Philip Wesley’s “Beyond Cloud Nine.”
It seems to be the perfect music right now, with the gray skies and cold weather. I do think I’m ready for spring to arrive.
Last Book I Read:
I finished the book “Before We Were Yours.” What an atrocity Georgia Tann perpetuated on these children.
Too bad she died of cancer right after this all came out and was not brought to justice. I suppose, in a way, she was brought to justice.
Can you imagine the level of greed and sociopathy it would take to do what she did for years? The lack of conscience and moral compass? Truly astounding.
Though this was a fictionalized account, the horror and desperation came through. Heartbreaking.
Luckily this came to an end in 1950 and I wasn’t born until 1957. My parents would have been easy targets for someone like her.
My Decision About Sage:
I read all your comments, several times in fact. Guess I had a moment of emotion and rash thinking.
I’m such an animal lover. I wish I could live out in the country and bring many of these dogs and cats home with me.
When I read a comment that mentioned Abi, I was in tears. Because I still can’t read her name or think about her without crying. I don’t think I’ll ever get over that.
I’ve thought of getting a framed photo of her out of the box I keep them in, but I don’t think I could bear it yet. Even now, nearly three years after I lost her.
Full Time Caretaker & Nurse:
Taking care of Charlie is a full time job. He’s lost some weight so he’s not as heavy to carry up and down from the bed and couch and such. But still, my mind is on him 24/7.
I’ve trained myself to wake up when he does to help him down the doggy steps. I’m constantly watching him to see what he needs.
And of course my heart is breaking a little more each day as he starts to fade. I cannot bear the thought, but it is out of my hands, isn’t it?
Ivy comes rushing to me every time she hears me in the bathroom, day or night. She wants attention, or for me to throw a toy for her to fetch.
Ivy Wants My Attention:
I think maybe that’s why she’s constantly getting her toys underneath furniture and the refrigerator and begging me to get them out.
So maybe it isn’t loneliness so much as her just needing attention. And I suppose she realizes Charlie is ill and that is stressful for her.
Sometimes she will come plop on my lap. And Charlie is usually with me in my chair. But he typically doesn’t snap at her unless she touches him with her paw.
I’ve begged her to sleep in the bed with us, but she won’t for some reason. I call out to her at night hoping she’ll come jump on the bed, but she doesn’t.
Now Is Not The Time:
Though I would love to bring Sage home with me, now is just not the time. But it was nice imagining her frolicking around the apartment and having her here to love.
Thanks for all your insightful comments. When I have a decision before me, especially an emotional one, I rely on all of you to help me see the light. So thank you all.
Also I wrote to my ad network about the pop-up ad appearing over the comments just before I started writing this post.