When He Owns a Weapon
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You have to deal with someone delicately when he owns a weapon. It’s important to know that things can go south very quickly if you’re in an intimate relationship with that person. And then things can go from bad to worse.
Labor Day 2006 was just another ordinary day in my former life. He had gotten drunk early in the day, and this time he spoke about harming himself or someone else.
I recall I was headed to a craft store to shop. There was no way I was staying home when he was in this state of mind. But he kept phoning me.
I could see that I was never going to have any peace while he was drunk. My primary worry was the automatic weapon I knew he owned.
Once I arrived at the store, I sat in my car and went over my options. I decided to go to the police station and ask them if they’d be able to take his gun.
When I arrived at the police station, I found that it was closed for the holiday. However, there was someone in the front office. She told me to go to the sheriff’s office, which I did.
I Told Them My Story:
At the sheriff’s office, they make you stand way back, for they don’t know who you are or if you’re dangerous. When I was allowed to talk to the person there, she made a phone call. Then she told me to wait outside. She said that the police would come and speak to me outside.
Before long, a patrol car pulled up, and he rolled down his window to talk to me.
I told the police officer that my husband was drunk, that he owned an automatic weapon, and that he had made random drunken threats. He turned away and called someone. Before I knew it, two more police cars pulled up next to his.
I was told to get in my car and lead them to my home. It felt like the longest drive of my life. In the rearview mirror, I could see the three police cars driving behind me.
When we reached my house, a policeman (I never knew his name) told me to open the garage door with my remote, and I did.
Searching for the Gun
They searched the garage for the gun. Then one officer told me to open the door leading inside, but to do so slowly. Three police officers stood behind me.
When they saw that no one was in that area or the kitchen, he told me to walk into the next room. But, once again, to walk slowly and quietly. They followed me. We continued down the hallway.
Finally, we reached the guest room door at the end of the house. I don’t know why he was in there, but he had the door locked. The policeman told me to stand back.
He called out to my husband through the door and told him they just wanted to make sure he was okay. He spouted out some expletives and told them to go away. The police officers assured him that that wasn’t happening, so he might as well open the door.
He opened the door. They had him go into the living room. I stood at the perimeter, wondering what would happen to end this surreal day.
Eventually, he told them where the gun was. Then they told me to get some of my things and leave for the night. I guess so he could sober up.
My thoughts were flitting around my brain like birds trapped in an attic. I couldn’t think what to take, for I didn’t know when I was coming back.
They Took The Weapon
They took the automatic weapon with them, to my relief. I drove to a hotel down the street and asked for a room far from the exits.
The next night, I stayed at a neighbor’s house. He kept knocking on their door, though my car was safely stashed in their garage. Somehow, he figured I was in there.
My neighbor would go to the door when he knocked and tell him she had no idea where I was. When I had to walk into their kitchen, I leaned down so no one could see me through her window. Our house was right across the street.
I drove out of town the next day and tried to figure out what to do next. Could I go somewhere new and start over? But I had little money and couldn’t access more.
After about a week of driving through various towns and trying to come up with a solution, I could feel something within me surrender.
How had my life led me to this place, I kept asking myself?
The Dissociative Episode
During the long drive home, I had a dissociative episode. I’d had them before, but never so bad that I had no memory of anything during them.
One minute I was driving, telling myself I would stop for a quick sandwich at noon. It was then 11:30, I noted on the car’s clock.
The next thing I knew, nothing looked remotely familiar. And when I glanced at the clock, it was then 1:30.
How could I have no memory of the last two hours while driving a vehicle?
I stopped at the nearest store and asked for directions. The man who worked in the store said that I was in a city called Daingerfield. How ironic, I thought.
I noticed a policeman was standing off to the side. Should I tell him? No, I told myself, he probably wouldn’t understand what had happened. How could I explain that I remembered nothing of the last two hours?
A customer heard me talking to the man. He walked over and explained that he was driving a jeep and was heading in the same direction I was. It was like a guardian angel had found me.
He said I could follow him, and when it was time to turn right, he would raise his arm above the top of his jeep. He said that’s where I was supposed to turn, and that I would end up intersecting with the main road to drive home.
I’ve always wondered who that kind man was. I wish I could let him know how he truly saved me that day.
Going Back Home
So I returned home, as women often do in situations like this. They try to leave, but sometimes things don’t work out for them. And men frequently control the money.
I made an appointment at a doctor’s office to try to make sense of what had happened. She told me that what had occurred during those two hours was my brain’s way of protecting me.
Apparently, the brain learns to trigger this survival mechanism at a very young age. And, she said, once the brain learns to do something, it can’t “unlearn” it.
Once this happens, it often recurs when you’re under a great deal of stress. She told me that my brain would keep me safe if it happened again. Her advice was to avoid long drives when alone.
And So Life Went On…
Things were okay for a while. He was on his best behavior, as they often are, for a time. I stayed there for five more years, even though it was difficult.
Three years after that episode, I began writing this blog.
The police gave his gun back to him after a year.
Four years down the road, after I’d left the state and the marriage, he died. But the intrusive thoughts and dreams did not die with him.
Domestic Violence Statistics
Guns pose a unique and deadly threat to those experiencing domestic violence. A woman is five times more likely to be killed if her abusive partner owns a gun.
- On a typical day, there are more than 20,000 phone calls placed to domestic violence hotlines nationwide.
- The presence of a gun in a domestic violence situation increases the risk of homicide by 500%.
On what Day is Domestic Violence the Highest?
New Year’s Eve had the highest levels of IPV and altercations than the baseline, followed by St. Patrick’s Day, Independence Day, and Labor Day. Sexual assaults were higher than baseline during New Year’s Eve, but lower than baseline during Christmas and Easter.
Oklahoma ranks as the number one state for domestic violence victimization for both women and men, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV).
For women, Oklahoma has the highest lifetime prevalence of domestic violence victimization at 49.1%. As for men, Oklahoma also has the highest lifetime prevalence of domestic violence victimization at 40.7%.
Domestic Abuse Hits Close to Home:
In 2013, during the first week of December, a blogger was murdered in Lansing, Michigan.
Christine Keith, 37, wrote a blog about urban homesteading and homeschooled her children. Her husband killed her, along with her 14-year-old son.
“She was amazing. She was very energetic and involved in so many things,” said a friend who knew Keith through the church and other community organizations. “She was very much into the community, being natural and saving the Earth.
“Christine Keith would take her children anywhere she thought was educational, including the library, zoo, and community events. She also taught at the church’s Sunday school and volunteered whenever she could.”
Christine wanted a divorce, but Randy Keith, 52, wouldn’t allow it. After he killed them, he shot himself. Left behind were her three younger children and a stunned community.
Thank you for the warm hug from all of you ladies!! Sometimes I feel so alone dealing with the aftermath of my domestic abuse, even though it was years ago.
After years of therapy to put all of the pieces of my life back together, I worked at a social services agency and a district attorney’s office as a certified advocate for survivors of intimate partner violence and sexual assault. Being there was like helping my own sisters through something I had been through. Your comment, Brenda, about helping someone by saying We will figure this out together is the embodiment of sisterhood!
I often disassociate when anyone yells or does something that makes me feel unsafe. These days I don’t do anything that doesn’t bring me peace and safety. I regularly practice yoga, which helps me reset my nervous system to a more relaxed base line setting. Trauma causes disconnection. So we need reconnection back to ourselves, and to each other.
Something my therapist said to me many years ago has always stuck with me. She says that we’re not attracted to abusive guys, and that there’s no way we can see them coming. No one can. They’re utterly charming and seemingly perfect. What happens is that we get trapped in the situation and we don’t leave for a myriad of reasons. But it’s never our fault. We should never ask the question why doesn’t she leave? Rather, we should ask the question why does he treat her like that? It’s all on him.
As an advocate, I wrote many restraining orders to get guns taken away from abusive men. It is a requirement of such orders that firearms are surrendered. Restraining orders also often have a kick out clause which requires the abuser to immediately vacate the home. Abusers then must also stay away from the victim. Temporary restraining orders are almost always granted. Thirty days later a hearing will take place to determine whether or not the restraining order can become permanent. Often we only need those 30 days to help somebody to safety.
I say all of this to educate anyone who might need this information. The domestic violence, agencies, like the one in which I worked, are saving women’s (and male victim’s) lives every day. And they can offer support for survivors in their ongoing healing.
I feel very happy to be a long time reader of this blog. It brings me peace and safety..and beauty!
Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Brenda…
Brenda, Your story is powerful and you told in such a way that it was even more insightful. I hope other people find and read your story so it doesn’t get lost in all the stuff going on in the world these days. Awareness and a little help goes a long way.
You have always expressed so well, such articles like this one. So many people are abused these days, either in childhood or whomever they marry. It is more than sad and hard to stay optimistic in the midst of it…or even later. I guess I missed something as I always thought you only had 2 daughters. I am happy for you for the ones who do spend time with you and help you…and sorry for the one who is not. Most families now seem to have someone who has cut them off. Or partially done so. Glad you are in a good place now. I too began reading you back before you came to Oklahoma. Appreciate all your decorating ideas, etc over the years and the articles like this one.
I only have two daughters. When I first wrote that, one was estranged. That is not the case anymore.
Merci Brenda pour ce témoignage.
Merci pour votre blog toujours si inspirant comme vous-même
Thank you for that sweet compliment, Emma!
I live in Wyoming. Everyone owns several guns. It’s not illegal to have them in your vehicle at all times. This year a mom on depression drugs shot her 4 kids and herself and they all passed.Her husband should have locked them up out of her possession but it’s so common to have them here. If he did lock them up, who’s to say she wouldn’t grab a knife?
Also, was this man your first, second, or third husband?
Third. I didn’t seem to get better at choosing men, apparently. Should have been a librarian that lived with cats.
Brenda, thank you for sharing your story. I have been following you since you left and in those years you have changed as has your situation. But through it all you have always been honest and genuine. It is never hard to walk away from any abusive relationship but you did, you survived and have a beautiful home and relationships with your daughters and grandchildren.
One thing I learned is not to judge others until you’ve walked in their shoes.
Dear Brenda,
thank you for sharing your story so others can possibly learn from it.
I’m so very sorry you had to go through all this.
I grew up in a domestic violence home. I saw my Dad hold a shotgun to my Mom’s head when I was 4. My whole childhood was full of these stories and I will say I myself have scars from it all. I promised myself I’d never live with anyone like that.
I’m so happy you got out of it all and have rebounded from your terrible experiences.
Bless you my dear and big, big hugs! ❤️
Oh, what an awful image for a child to see and remember!
I had despair and embarrassment for the way my life was behind closed doors. The “front” my husband displayed for others made me the envy of women who had no idea how it really was. I was ashamed of his actions and terrible words. I was alone with two small children. My mother criticized me for staying but offered no support of any type, not with childcare or even emotional support. “When you make your bed hard, you just have to lie in it”. I knew I couldn’t pay rent and childcare. I couldn’t leave my children unsupervised so I stayed until my children were out of school.
I understand how you felt with your oldest daughters comment. My children also said they had worried about my demise. After I left, I was safe. Now that he is deceased, I am relieved.
I will never judge another woman for being in a bad relationship. We all can be fooled. I should NEVER have been ashamed of HIS actions. PLEASE seek help. Speak up. Live your life and be valued. You deserve to be appreciated and have peace.
How awful that your mother was not supportive of you. Could have saved yourself some unnecessary grief. You learn with experience. We aren’t born knowing how to live life.
Brenda thank you for sharing this with us. There is a lot to think about here and much we can learn from. It can be so so hard to walk away from the source of the pain. Thank you again!
It doesn’t start like that. No, they’re charming and attentive for a while. And then you see the other side of them.
Sometimes closure does not come quickly enough sweet Brenda. The pain is still with you but today was a giant step. Love you and take care.
The pain is mild really. It’s memories. Something we all have. I “think” I have closure. Maybe I should be more sure. But I’m in a good place.
I remember when you were living with him and things got so bad you moved into a room off the kitchen I believe and it had no windows but you decorated it for yourself. Then your move to Tulsa finally getting far away after your painful divorce. You have given women more strength than you will ever know. I often recant to my daughter things you have written about. She is a huge women’s advocate. I am so happy that now you are at peace with your Charlie and Ivy Lou, not happy that your oldest is out of the picture, but what a loving relationship you have with your youngest and that cute grandson. And now you have created such an amazing forum for women, thank you so much.
Oh Annette, I am so pleased that you’ve stuck through it all with me!
How very brave. And generous, to share your story so that it might help others.
So happy for you, to have this oasis you worked very hard to create for yourself – the calm after the storm.
Sometimes when I write these things I feel shame, guilt, disgust that I didn’t do more or try harder. That I wasn’t as brave as I would hope. That I let others down. Oddly enough, I don’t really think about what I’ve gone through. Just how it’s affected others. Isn’t that strange? We need to take care of ourselves first.
Thank you for writing this post. It helps me with what I deal with too, even if the events are over and done with, and far in the past. Your discussion on intrusive thoughts and dissociative episodes really helps. When I was very young, my father died and I suffered from dissociative episodes in the year following from extreme grief. Thankfully, I’ve not had any more. But more information helps solve the mystery of what pain does to you. The intrusive thoughts come and go about my first husband; I find that if I’m unhappy with something going on in my life, they are more… intrusive. So a certain awareness helps to quiet them. Sometimes those thoughts are like puppies; they just need taken out for a stroll! And, good advice about writing it down. Thanks again.
I like how you said that: Take those thought out for a stroll! Sometimes when they cycle round and round in my head, I just sit down and write them down here. Seems the sequence of events that I record here helps me to focus. And once I have it all written down, it subsides. Maybe it’s just putting a period at the end of the sentence/sentences.
I forgot to mention the dissociative episodes. I find that they are actually peaceful. It’s like floating on a puffy cloud and looking at things from up above or faraway. You can see and hear but are removed from what is around you. Except with the episode in the car. That was really strange. They are brought on by a sound, a smell, a sight. They are the triggers I’ve found that bring it on. I haven’t had one in some years now.
Wow, what a story, Brenda. I know that by telling your stories, you can help other women. I have never been in an abusive relationship, so I can’t relate, but reading about what you’ve gone through sure makes me thankful for my wonderful husband.
The woman across the street from me is married to a man (“T”) who is an alcoholic and a drug abuser. He has abused her in the past, but I don’t know if he still does. Many years ago when her kids were little (and were friends with my boys) and T was arrested for DUI, she called me crying and saying she didn’t know what to do. I told her she needed to leave him and get her own place. She said she didn’t know how she would make it on her own with two little kids. I told her she already was making it on her own (financially) – SHE was the one who was working FT while he barely worked. As for her kids, I offered to babysit them for FREE in the mornings before school and after school. She thanked me but never did anything. Here we are over 20 years later and she’s still with him. It’s sad.
At least you tried to help her. She needs to be directed to someone that has the resources to point her to. I doubt very seriously that an abuser stops abusing. She’s caught up in a cycle, like a hamster on a wheel.
This is a powerful and beautiful post, Brenda! I don’t know that I have anything to say that hasn’t already been said by the other amazing women who read your blog. All of them are smart, strong, insightful persons and I am aware of how because of who you are all these beautiful people have come together to share their love and support for those who need it. I am not an authority on the content of the many, many blogs that exist, but I think yours has got to be unique in its scope and subject matter.
I have never experienced the kind of abuse that you and some of your readers have. I cannot even imagine living in the fear and danger you speak about. I have had deep loss and pain in my life but nothing like you and others have been through at the hands of someone who supposedly loved them. But I hear the voices of those of you who have been there and am amazed that you have summoned the strength not only to survive but to thrive. Brenda, I am so happy that you have built a safe, peaceful life for yourself and are finally comfortable just being yourself with no apologies. You are a beautiful person and a generous, caring woman. I wish for your life to be as easy and happy as possible from now on.
Thank you for your courage in allowing us, your readers, to know you so fully, in offering your help and compassion in the generous way that you do and in sharing your life with us so fully.
But actually it is all of you who give me courage.
You survived and thrived through a tough life lesson…
Not only do you encourage and empower women but you also help animals,not just your unconditional love for them but your rescue of Ivy and your concern for Charlie’s health and well-being,I really feel they understand and appreciate us?
God bless you and thankyou for allowing us a glimpse into what brought you to this place and this blog that brings us some house each day.
Hugs!!!!!
Living through it would possibly have been in vain if I couldn’t share it in the hope of helping another woman or women to get through it too.
Thanks for sharing your story. I know you will help many women with this story. Must have been hard to write this. Best wishes!
Actually it was harder to deal with the intrusive thoughts than it was writing it down. And as often happens, after I wrote it all down, the intrusive thoughts were gone. Writing is good therapy.
I don’t know if the “intrusive” thoughts ever leave. My ex has been dead for almost 15 years, but sometimes, the things I endured in that relationship seem like they happened yesterday! Love and hugs!
It is their “legacy” I suppose. But we live on and will be as strong and as helpful to other women as we can be.
Oh my gosh Brenda this is the best post I have read in a long time on a blog.
First of all you seriously need to be aware of what is happening here in your life. You are being put in these women’s life for a reason. They are guided being guided to you for help. Your writing is so wonderful and you capture such emotion and feelings in how you write your story.
Just like the “angel,” the man in the store that lead you to the highway. I believe in God and prayer and earth angels to guide and be on our paths when needed. I believe God puts these people in our paths when we need them most.
The man that day in the store was put there to help you on your safe journey home. You were confused, scared and lost time in your life. This man was there to help you.
I hope you open your mind like you have your heart and know you have something to share here. You have helped two women already. You can totally understand where they are and where they have to come on their journey.
You have a big purpose here and I hope you will take it and run with it. I believe this kind of post today was flowing from you because you are in the path of so many that might read this. Even if you help just one or a 100 women today you might have saved another women that is in the awful situation you were in.
I bet when you were going through your ordeal you wished you had someone you could relate too and that would understand you. Men like your Ex husband are so controlling and manipulate. They can as easily as they breath make you believe you are wrong or the crazy.
As you know they love to isolate you so no one can help you.
This was a heart felt and real post Brenda. I am so happy to have opened up your post today.
I am not in an abusive relationship and have a wonderful partner in life but I was so touched by what is happening here with your blog and you. Praying you will continue on this journey and help others with posts like today.
Whew thanks for letting me take up the space with my comment.
By telling my story, I do hope to reach other women and possibly help them. I would have given so much to have someone who could truly help me, a woman who knew what I was living through. If I am here for any reason, I am here to be the person another woman in need can call on. I will listen to her story, and then say okay, now let’s figure out what to do.
You are brave to write your words for the world to read. I went through a very similar situation in the early 2000’s. He would play the same game as your ex, with weapons in the house. He, like your ex, then passed away two years after our divorce. I felt guilt for divorcing him and his spending his last two years “unhappy”. I’ve made progress through the years if by nothing else, telling myself that i did the best that i knew how to do at the time. Your words today have given me another nudge towards being guilt-free.
My first mother-in-law, who became a dear friend until she died in 2006, always said to me: “You did the best you could with what you had at the time.” Please don’t continue to live with this guilt. Regret is meaningless. It’s a waste of time. We all feel it. We just have to figure out the best way to let it go. You are alive and need to enjoy that life as best you can.
Beautiful piece, Brenda. What a scary time you had of it in Crazy Town…I’m so glad you got out and found your peace.
As I am for you. I know you’ve been there.
Thank you for being a forum for women who need someone who understands and will be there to talk with them. God Bless you all and do not give up.
I am strong in part because of all you strong women that lift me up, and have lifted me up through all the hard times. When I deal with women like Liz, there is no judgment or blame. Only the vital steps to get going with the least trauma.
Brenda, I am so sorry that you had to go through your past to get to where you are now. Trauma and stress are not an easy way to live. I hate that you and your daughters relationship suffered because of it. But each day that goes by takes you a day further away from the negativity and insanity. Thank you for being so generous with your time and advice. Those who need it benefit greatly from your empathy and guidance.
And for those who haven’t been there, it’s hard to imagine. Yes, each day is another step forward from Crazy Town. I never want to visit that place again.
I enjoyed reading Brenda’s story and all of your comments . You ladies are very strong women . They say everyone has a story and this is so true . We all need to keep sharing all of our stories , the good and the bad ones . It will make us all better people.
She is SO right! The bad things only thrive in darkness.
Hi Brenda,
This is quite powerful and moving. My father was abusive in every way and I grew up feeling sorry for my mom. Finally, when I was 19 he got a job as a security guard which allowed him to carry a gun. I know he threatened my mom one time with it and then there was a big incident between me and him that the police were called. It wasn’t long after that that my mother made him leave. To this day, I cannot tolerate a bully and will be the first one to jump in to help the person that is being bullied. Most people don’t seem to be aware just how prevalent physical, mental and sexual abuse is. I can spot it in a second – just like you can. I am so happy for you and that you have a quiet and peaceful life. That’s the kind I prefer to live as well.
Bullies sure don’t need guns. That’s the last thing they need.
There are hoards of destructive personalities in this world. I think many of us and probably most grow up naive about this. Not even a very hard childhood can make us wise about this and if anything might leave us more vulnerable. The world has its beauty no doubt but not encompassing the reality of this other side of life I think can leave one greatly disadvantaged. All the atrocity’s under the sun here do not happen because the world is full of light. No, they happen because it is also full of dark.
My ex was not a drinker, a weapon’s owner or even a physical abuser but he was a highly intelligent and manipulative personality that caused plenty of damage too.
Being resolved to your past is a journey and understanding yourself can also lead you to understanding others. Those fur babies are a part of our journey too and they can be a lovely safe place to be when the world has been too tempestuous and full of angst. I’m sure for some of us it can be just another reason why we grew to love them so much.
Thank you for your sharing. Nicely done.
He doesn’t have to have been any of the things you listed. But he could have been a narcissist with his manipulation, which they are quite good at. And just as deadly. I think you’re right. We’re closest to our pets because we feel safe with them. They never judge us; just love us.
Thank you for sharing Brenda. For so many years I thought it was ME. Then I started going to a counselor and a support group and I found out that it wasn’t me. Unfortunately, it took me a while to leave because I had three little boys and no way to support myself. He was a brilliant liar and had many people convinced that it was me who was crazy. I am so glad that I was finally able to get out. The worst thing about it was that my boys, now adults, think that it was me who was crazy even though they’ve seen their dad go through another “marriage” and divorce after me. I mourn the loss of my boys, but if I hadn’t gotten out I wouldn’t be here to write this. Thank you for sharing your struggle. Maybe someone else like us will read this and realize that what they are living is a dangerous lie.
I’m sorry about the loss of your boys. He is probably filling them with lots of awful stories and sounding quite believable. I haven’t seen my daughter or talked to her since 2014. I miss her, but respect her decision. What else can you do? I’ve tried to break through, but have had no success.
Brenda, I was worried about you because your blog was late today, and now I understand. You had a story to tell. No, I have never walked in those particular shoes. I am in awe of how you have turned your life around and found peace in the beautiful life which you have built, and what courage it took to do so. Thank you for helping Liz and probably many more whom you may never know. We are all here for a reason and you seem to have found your call. As I mentioned to you once before, I believe “We are all here to walk each other home”
I was trying to get this story written and the time was passing and Charlie kept needing to go out. And I love that: “We are all here to walk each other home.” I think I will put that on this blog somewhere, because the words are quite beautiful.
Brenda, thank you for pouring out your heart to us this morning in great detail. In reading this so many of my own distant memories come flooding back. Memories of unspeakable fear, of isolation, of imposed shame, and a sense of powerlessness that few understand. Self worth became nonexistent. I remember being moved to tears when the male checker at the local grocery spsoke kindly to me. And the ache to just be safe was constant.
For me I see that even though this was some time ago the effect is still at work in my life. Some progress has been made but in reading your thoughts I have further understanding of how that painful time has challenged my health both physically and emotionally. It still raises up to compromise self worth and hope at times and definitely has had a effect on financial
stability in these later years.
Reading your words has made me aware again, that in getting out of the abusive situation is the beginning but, for many of us, the work must continue. The need for loving support continues and many don’t have this. I find that you can be around lovely people but few would even know what to say if asked to help in a situation of this nature.
While the wounds heal after a time, the scars still must be dealt with for a person to thrive.
Thank you again for sharing.
The relationship ends, but the memories and scars do not. I feel your pain. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and move forward. All a person can often do.
Hugs ~
Brenda, thank you for sharing your stories, they will help someone. I am heartbroken that you no longer speak to your daughter, perhaps someday you will. I pray that she will read your blog and understand that although you wanted to be strong, you couldn’t be at that point.
I know how your daughter felt, I have a sister that for years dated a man that we thought for sure would do something horrible to her, in the end it was one of his teenage kids that did and they apparently scared her straight out of that relationship. I was convinced he would kill her when he was drinking. Thank God she is out of that relationship and is happy again.
I hope you have a wonderful day in your cosy little house with your two loving fur kids.
I don’t blame her. I do miss her however. But if it’s too much for her, all the Crazy Town she watched me go through, then I completely understand.
Very, very good. In the early 70’s I too was emotionally (mentally) abused and then again in 2015. You would think I had learned from my first mistake and in a way I did in the fact I got out of the situation in 31 days. The aftermath is still in the back of my brain but fading.
Your blog is perfect. Thank you for sharing.
I don’t know if there’s a way to “learn” from this type of thing. Every situation is different. We hope for the best. Sometimes we just don’t have the right radar to sense the danger.
Brenda, I’ve not walked in your shoes, but I know this. You are a strong, smart and brave woman.
I’m so glad to have discovered your blog and enjoy reading your posts every day. Bless you, Charlie Ross and Ivy Lou. Continue to help those you can and I know all of us who read your blog, will support those in need as well, be it spiritually, emotionally or financially.
We women, as a whole, are a force of nature.
Carol and Molly
xoxoxo
I think you’re quite right: We women, as a whole, are a force of nature. Look what we did for Liz!
Brenda, your story is riveting and unfortunately all too common. Thank you for all that you do to help other women living the nightmare of domesic abuse. You are a true heroine!
The saddest part is that it truly is all too common.
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