Due in part to our deep desire as women to help other women, Liz has found her way. Pat yourselves on the back because you were all very kind, helpful and informative toward her predicament.

“Don’t ever underestimate the impact that you may have on someone else’s life.” – Anonymous

Her attorney has decided to accept payments, so her divorce proceedings have begun. She is now in control of what happens next.

Her soon-to-be-ex is in South America with his girlfriend. I say good riddance to him.

women helping women quote

She is going through a lot of emotions, as anyone would who has found out that her marriage was basically a lie.

She has to come to terms with the idea that she spent nearly two decades loving a person who was not worthy of that love.

But many of us know how that feels, don’t we?

I kept telling her that gaining control of her life and finances and getting away with her precious little dog would be the beginning of a new life. One in which she is navigating and charting her own way.

I hope the rest of the way is mostly smooth sailing for her. We all know there will be hiccups along the way. But I think she has the courage to persevere.

Every day I put my heart and soul into this little home on the internet.

“When women support each other, incredible things happen.” – Unknown

She says she knows she won’t have a lot of money, but that she will have peace of mind. And as many of us have learned, there is no price tag for peace of mind.

Because it is priceless.

women helping women quote

Here is the last section of her latest email that I will share with you:

Please let the readers know that I am in control now and that the legal process has begun. Extend my heartfelt thanks to all of them and tell them that I still need their words of encouragement to get me through this final phase.

You have been such a blessing to me! I can’t find the words to thank you enough for all that you have done. I am taking your advice and moving on with everything.

I often stop to think about how painful it must have been for you, too. But look at you now!! I just need to keep taking that one step at a time until I get to where you are now.


We all go through painful trials in life. But with the experience we glean from those hard times, we can help others who are headed down that path.

women helping women quote

All of you helped me help her. Now she has found her way forward. And we’ll still be here for her.

“It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent” ― Madeleine K. Albright

I always want this little place on the internet to be a safe haven for women. All of you help me to provide that.

women helping women quote

I’m so grateful for you all. And Liz is grateful to you at a time when it was hard to see the forest for the trees.

I have added a new category to this blog. It is called “Women Helping Women.” If you have ideas for how we can better help other women who may need us, I would appreciate you leaving a suggestion in the comments or emailing me.

I began this blog as a decorating and gardening blog, but it has turned into much more as the years have passed. It is like a winding road that took many turns and traveled to many unknown places.

women helping women quote

Every day I put my heart and soul into this little home on the internet. And because I found my way, I want to extend a hand to other women to help them find theirs.

Obviously I have very caring readers who want the same thing. Just think how much we can do together!

We all get by with a little bit of help from our friends.

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  1. Congratulations are in order! Such wonderful news and I do hope her lawyer will work hard for her to get her fair share of everything. 2019 will be a much better year for her.

  2. Such good news for Liz … and my congratulations to her for seeking advice and acting upon it right away. It won’t be easy going forward but she has proven herself to be stronger than she thought she was and she has a great support system here. Thanks, Brenda, for bringing us all together.

  3. Just so happy Liz was able to take the steps to move on. It is hard and when i was in this predicament I had no one and no where to turn. Blogging has changed my life and finding friends and caring people on the blogs has been a life saver to me and now I hope to Liz. Thank you for all you do Brenda!

  4. Liz has made some courageous steps. I have been wondering if her soon to be ex is aware that she is doing this or is he going to be hit with the surprise of her actions when he gets back. I hope she is able to liquidate some things if necessary before he tries to talk her out of even more assets. Hopefully the attorney will be able to help her to reclaim her rightful portion of what he ‘stole’ from her before he blindsided her with the news that he wanted a divorce. Surely there must be laws to cover this.

  5. What absolutely wonderful news about Liz! So glad she has begun to create a new life for herself away from the dishonesty and disrespect she has endured with her soon-to-be ex-husband. It’s especially wonderful that you and the rest of us who read your blog were able to be encouraging and supportive enough that she has had the courage to do what she needed to do for herself. We women have so, so much to offer each other and this blog, Brenda, is such a testimony to that truth. Yay for Liz, Yay for all of us! And especially you for being the kind of compassionate, perceptive person that you are and extending yourself to Liz in her difficult and painful situation. So glad I found your blog!

    Regarding the possibility of Liz being able to get her legal fees covered by the husband, I think she could write that into the divorcee settlement but I’m not positive. Also, like the reader above said, she may also be able to collect on his Social Security if or when she is retirement age and also his retirement. I was married for twenty-five years when my ex-husband left and I collect both, but it may depend on the laws of the particular state she lives in. And, if his income is a certain amount more than hers, it may also be possible for her to receive alimony if only for a specified period of time. I hope she gets every single penny out of him that she can!

    Finally, Brenda, thank you so much for sharing your life with us and helping all of us to stand on our two feet and speak our truth. You are a special friend to us all.

    I hope that 2019 is a year of great empowerment and joy for you and for all of us!

  6. Good news from Liz. If she’s been married to her soon to be ex for more than 10 years she will be able to get some of his SS I do believe. That used to be a law! lol
    Also, even if her husband is in South America she might could possibly get him to pay the legal fees. Her lawyer would know. She’ll be better off than she thinks she will in the end.

  7. Oh my! I cannot begin to express how relieved my heart feels now that I know Liz is safe and is proceeding apace with an attorney! I have been very worried. We know, and Liz will too, sooner I’ll bet than she thinks, all of the money you could possibly want cannot make up for being miserable in a relationship. I wish more women were familiar with the lyrics from the old song “Silver Threads and Golden Needles,” which I remember from when I was a kid. I checked the song and it was first recorded evidently in 1962, I was 11 years old! Liz can make her own living because she has an excellent degree, being an RN. They are in demand and will continue to be so as babyboomers continue to get older, and thereafter because a lot of people aren’t going into nursing as a career anymore! To help support women in need – whether its financial, medical, emotional – we can donate to causes specifically dedicated to help women, and volunteer. Shelters for battered women, women fleeing domestic violence, homeless women and women with children are always overflowing and in need of resources, both financial and in the form of donations of clothing, bedding, beds, furniture, and often, volunteers. We can also apply pressure by organizing in local political groups or even just writing our local and federal representatives in government to improve laws to protect women and children, including programs that help them. Sadly, under the current Administration many programs that provided help to women and children have been allowed to lapse – no doubt to help pay for the $1.5 trillion tax cut deficit, of which 80% or more flowed to multi-national corporations and the very very rich at the top. We can also support political candidates who are women we agree with politically. The 2018 mid-term elections saw a record number of first time candidates, including a huge influx of women, elected to public offices of all sorts, including to state Legislatures and the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate! We are 51% of the population in the US, we should, if things were equal, be represented by 51% of women in our federal and state governments. Congress now has the largest percentage of women ever, but still a long way from that 51%. Maybe it’s not your thing, for some reason a lot of women shy away from politics, maybe because they’re afraid we’ll fight too much or something. But I’ve found when discussion things with women about such things, even when we don’t agree, we aren’t vicious and vile with each other like the other sex often can be. We negotiate and deal with adversity and disagreements differently, on the whole, then men do. We are sisters, mommas, best friends, wives. We spend our lives arbitrating arguments and soothing owies, both physical and emotional! We’re naturals at creating peace where we are given free rein to do so. Think about that. As for Liz – Liz, we are all rooting for you and sending our positive energies to you. Sometimes we have to take a stand and fight for what is right, and that can be hard and truly scary, but it’s always worth the battle.

  8. I am so glad to hear the good news about Liz!! Brenda your blogs mean so much to me!! Happy New Year to you, Charley and Ivy!

  9. Brenda, it is so wonderful that you offered your heart and help to Liz! And in turn allowed so many others to offer some helpful advice. I hope that in the midst if the pain and sorrow that Liz has found a glimmer of hope for a bright future, a future that she is in charge of .

    I am praying that there will not be too many bumps along the road to her new and exciting life. One great thing is that she is a nurse and has insurance and a career and that is always a good thing and something some do not have.

    Have a great day and thank you so much for keeping us updated!

    1. I am always amazed by the women from all walks of life who comment here and give out information for those searching for it. I sure don’t have all the answers. But each woman contributes her own value.

  10. Well done, Brenda…with Liz and your blog. This is the only blog I follow now and find it encouraging and peaceful. Thank you.

  11. ???
    I’m so happy to hear that Liz is safe now and on the road to recovery! We will be there for her, even if it’s virtually! Happy New Year Liz!

    Brenda, you have created a wonderful forum! You are a very kind, caring and thoughtful woman. You should give your ownself a big pat on the back! Happy New Year Brenda and I hope it’s even better than last year! ???

  12. how about we don’t stop until we have a matriarchy? Women in government, women doctors, etc. just ignore men whenever we can.

  13. Yeah for Liz. The good news is that in all of this hurt and shock and loss of her divorce she has found her strength. She can actually think about her life going forward without him. That is the hardest step is to let go of her life she has known and begin a new journey. As you know Brenda it is painful and hard a lot more days than not but once you keep going you will come to a place of peace in your life. She will then look back and know the heartbreak, worry and being scared to be alone is all worth it. Good for you Liz. Prayers that you continue to find the strength you need to go forward. The power of Prayer and the inner strength of women is amazing done together.

  14. What a very brave woman Liz is. I am so happy she found your blog, Brenda, and so happy that women spoke up to give her the courage to move forward. I will be reading Women Helping Women, to find out how Liz is doing, and maybe I too, can say something, to keep her spirits up.
    I am wishing Liz, a wonderful 2019… Hugs and Love, Bonnie in WI

  15. I am impressed with what Liz has accomplished. A restraining order might prevent her soon to be former husband from trying that “please take me back” scam, as Joyce mentioned. I wish my friend could read this and find the strength to move forward to a life without the crazy. She’s divorced from her husband, yet, beyond understanding, she continues to live with this guy, because he changed his mind when it was time to leave, and she continues to fool herself into believing she can change/fix him. Her family has now turned away from both of them. It’s terribly sad to witness Nd to hear about the cruel things he says and does.

    1. We can’t fix them. I know we often believe we can. Because women attempt to fix everything. But we need to stop trying to fix men who have no desire to be fixed.

  16. I was thinking about Liz yesterday and then this pops up today. I am so happy for Liz and very impressed. Talk about having the rug pulled out from under her, but here she is cleaning up the mess and making it right for herself. She could have lingered in this situation for a long time and I’m so happy she didn’t. Brenda, you gave her so much strength with which to go forward on. Thank you for all you do for women.

  17. What a great post and it provides such a positive note on which to begin a new year! Wonderful news regarding Liz; kudos to Brenda for providing this forum.

    Take care and have a wonderful weekend.

  18. That is wonderful news about Liz. We women are stronger and braver than we could ever imagine. Woman power!

    Carol and Molly

  19. Oh Brenda! I LOVED reading this! You were the vehicle that steered Liz onto the path of recovery and ultimate victory! Your comment section held so much love and support for her, and I am glad she acted on the encouragement.
    I am especially glad that the ex is out of the way for awhile until she makes her permanent exit. As happens so often, I predict he will return one day with “his tail between his legs,” begging her to take him back. Nope! She’ll be safe in her new place, enjoying her freedom and the company of her little dog – and the friendship that all of us here extended to her so generously!

  20. YAY!!!!!! for you, Liz! You’ve taken the first ~ the hardest ~ step and you are now on a marvelous new journey. I hope you find even more courage, comfort, and joy with every new step.
    The Maori have a saying ~ “Kia Kaha” ~ it means “Stay strong”. Make that part of your mantra for those lonely & shadowy times that we all face.
    If you feel comfortable doing so, please keep us updated via Brenda ~ you have a huge cheering section behind you now!
    You GO, girl!

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