Writing for the Sake of Writing
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There was a time when I wrote merely for the sake of writing. I didn’t just want to put pen to paper; I felt that I needed to.
Rhonda said that, after all these years, what partly led her to me was a poem I wrote when we were teenagers. They found it in a box of her father’s things when he died in 2017.
Her father had told her to keep this poem and store it somewhere, because he thought I would be an important person one day. Instead, he ended up storing it, and it was found in his things after his death.
I have no idea what the poem was about because I haven’t asked her. It was probably something I scribbled down about our friendship. And the importance of it died with him.
When I started this blog in my fifties, I was still writing in a somewhat easy, stream-of-consciousness style.
Then blogging became a career for many. Everything changed. Blogs became brands. There were search engine optimization and keyword rules that bloggers were supposed to follow.
That took much of the joy out of it for me, because there were constraints I wasn’t familiar with.
Blogs Became Brands:
I had to make money, like everyone else, so I tried hard to follow the blogging road someone else had paved for success. In many ways, it felt like wearing shoes that are too tight. And with every step, I am reminded of the way my toes feel pinched.
People who are considered experts tell you to find a “niche” and write within it.
As with my too-tight shoes, it sometimes feels strangulating, much like trying to stay within the lines when coloring.
The Prominent Bloggers:
I was never going to be one of those “prominent bloggers,” those asked to write books about their niche. I struggle with the idea that you should squeeze your blog into a “brand.” You’re not just to sell your words, but also yourself.
Since the inception of this blog in 2009, I’ve never been able to perfect “staying inside the lines, and selling myself as a brand.
Much of what I send out to the internet sometimes feels forced. Because that is how you make money, and everyone needs money to survive.
Teachers Wanting to Teach Me:
Because I never excelled at anything else, my teachers urged me to focus on writing early on. They probably felt it would likely be my only path to success in life, because otherwise, I was unfocused. They asked me to come to school early so they could work with me.
I sat in that room, fidgety and uncomfortable, the sole student until the school bell rang and class actually began for the day.
While the teacher tried to impart knowledge about writing, I mostly heard the sound of children playing outside. I would take in a bit of what was said, then my mind would stray, as it often did.
To tell the truth, I can’t remember a thing those teachers said to me when attempting to teach me how to be successful.
Writing Either Flows for Me or it Doesn’t:
Writing either flows or doesn’t. It is the part of me I never really tried to rein in, because writing in that vein was true, unfettered freedom.
At school, I was just a shy young girl who felt awkward around other children. I couldn’t let loose and play at recess as freely as they did.
Being taught was something I struggled with. My mind would inevitably flit around, not focusing properly, because I learned best on my own. I didn’t court good grades because it was a lost cause.
My learning never manifested itself in the classroom. Not in grade school, high school, or college. I only excelled when left to my own devices. It was the only time I could stay within the proper lines.
A Fish Out of Water:
So, I am today what I’ve always been, a fish out of water, unless I swim at my own pace.
Yes, unfortunately, there are times when I struggle with what to write. I must try to follow the rules that others will tell you lead to making money. But it does not seem to resonate with me, and I end up frustrated.
I’ve watched other bloggers who easily get it rush right past me to success and real money.
So, all this to say: sometimes my words here are awkward, like I’m wearing those too-tight shoes. I’m pushing myself and forcing it because the kitties and I have to eat.
It’s sometimes hard to let words flow freely when, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking about the necessity of paying the bills.
Much of what I end up writing is about creating a cozy home. Decorating and gardening are something I love, but they’re more of a hobby. I’m forced to write more “teachable” posts because I sometimes have to, and I imagine you can tell.
My True & Authentic Self:
It is when I let words flow freely that I am my true, authentic self.
I will never be the blogger that brands reach out to for access to my website. I’m not the writer that Rhonda’s father thought would become famous.
I don’t join other bloggers at yearly conferences to unite around a common goal — how to blog “successfully.” Truth be told, I am too shy to be comfortable in that world.
I won awards in college because my professors submitted my work. Then that would lead to some ceremony I would be obligated to attend. It meant shopping for an appropriate dress befitting the occasion. I was clearly out of my depth there, too. Fashion eluded me.
I’d stand there in my too-tight shoes and awkwardly thank whoever bestowed the award upon me. I was so far out of my comfort zone that I stammered something quickly to get out of the spotlight, gratefully leaving it for someone else to shine on.
When it was over, I would retreat to my safe place, so out of my depth that I was practically out of breath all the way home.
Lofty Goals I Couldn’t Fulfill:
So, Rhonda, your father had lofty goals for me, though I never knew about them until recently. But I was never going to be prominent and reach that kind of success, as he thought I might. I was never going to be anything but uncomfortable with any spotlight shining on me.
So I struggle to be two selves here. The one who must write posts for the Google search engine, in the event they find it worthy enough to pick up, and then payment follows.
And then there’s the other self who writes freely, as I did here, with thoughts flowing quickly and my fingers rushing to keep up. They are my truest, most authentic words.
They’re not the ones I struggle with for Google search results, so I get paid.
Brenda, I love your “true” posts the best. If it was up to me I would pay you double for those. I have loved your blogs since the first time I read one. I am having difficulty now with your page freezing whenever I’m trying to read it. It is the only blog I have that problem with. I’m sure it’s nothing you control, but today I have had to close your page 5 times and then reopen it to try to finish ready today’s post. Sorry I’m such a bother, but I may have to stop returning to you blog if I can’t figure out the problem. Keep doing what you’re doing to keep your financial head above water, but don’t give up writing from your heart either.
Sandra
I don’t know what’s happening. Have you cleared your cache in History? Also your browser cache. I have to do these things pretty often.
Mine sticks when my battery is low.
I keep getting the post you wrote about loving an old house and not a new one.
I have no appreciation for the extremes that have pervaded so many aspects of modern life. I am fine with reading about normal life, as well as the quiet enjoyment of the artwork and photographs you post.
When did folks get so extreme? I must have missed something.
Referring to the “Extreme Makeover” type things I see on tv and in other media. For instance, some cooking shows. All the drama and crazy ingredients don’t add to my enjoyment of the food. But obviously other people enjoy the entertainment.
Brenda, I’m so sorry the blogging world puts so many restraints and demands on you. I really enjoy posts like this. It feels like we’re having a real conversation. In other words, it doesn’t feel forced. Your Sunday snippets have always been a favorite of mine, for the same reason. It feels like talking to a friend. And I just love hearing about your day, and your kitties and family. Just things that are importance to you. I’m sorry they’ve made it so hard for you to make a living doing what you enjoy and are so good at. I don’t really understand how it all works, not being a blogger myself, but I do know that I enjoy reading your blog so much, and you’re is the only blog I actually read! I appreciate your efforts, even if “Blogland”doesn’t! I understand you gotta eat and pay your bills, so I’m going to continue to be here with you, whatever path you take. Thanks for writing… thanks for giving me something to look forward to… thanks for just making me happy in general.
Oh, you’re so sweet! Thank you. Google seems to like posts with instructions, like for crafts or recipes. They grade you on how well the post helps people who consume your content. So you can imagine no one is Googling the newsy downhome things I sometimes write. However, they are my favorite to write!
It is the diversity in people that make them interesting…I have read here a long time. We your readers realize you are doing what is needed for making a living…but often you put together some amazing words and thoughts. What a world it will be once everyone can just be whomever they were created to be. You are far from the only one who feels different, Brenda. Years ago I saw a little poster on a blog that said, “I am not everyone’s cup of tea.” Ah so true…what a boring world if everyone was totally alike anyway…
I like that sentence: I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Very forthright and upfront!
People, both men and women, become reflective looking back at their lives. It just means we’ve lived long enough to have lots of memories. From your Blog, I have learned how to get groceries delivered to my door after I had a fall. Recently I learned that free books can be gotten from Amazon Books. You counter a common problem for women of a certain age– isolation — & provide a service whether you know it or not. Please keep writing. Love the new art work!
I was worried people would get bored with the graphics I purchased, but I love seeing them on blogs I read. So, I’m hoping you will like them too.
I have adored your writing for many, many moons. To me, you are priceless, and I am very thankful that you kept writing.
Well, you sure made me feel good! Thank you!
Rhonda’s father was right, you are a famous author! I enjoy everything you write! The title made me think I wouldn’t be crazy about the article when I was kinda busy yesterday. Glad I didn’t miss this sweet story. Have a good evening!
One of my deficits is that I’m not good with post titles. It’s hard for me to come up with them, especially for posts that are just about life and not something specific.
I love your authentic writing … it brings me back to days more peaceful and calm where I can sit and reminisce along with you. Those are the days your post is personal and friendly and welcoming as a cup of hot tea on an early chilly morning. However, I surely understand the necessity of fitting into the “box” that blogs require and am always amazed at how much information you have ready to share with us on various topics. Both are necessary if we are to be able to continue to enjoy your writing … so carry on and we will be here.
I’m just not the type that, like many bloggers, jumped ship and took off for Instagram. I like to look at pretty pictures there, but don’t care to jump through the hoops. I truly enjoy what I do. I wish Google would just let things be and not change this and that and the algorithms on a regular basis!
I personally love your style of blogging! It’s like visiting with a friend.
I’m going to try to write more posts in that vein.
I hear you about school. That’s exactly how I was. I excelled in English, spelling and writing. Daydreamed a lot. Shy and introverted. Hated being in the spotlight. I still write, but not on my blog anymore. I journal for myself and I also write poetry.
I much prefer when you write freely. I can tell when your writing is more “forced” but I understand you need to write those kinds of posts sometimes.
I figured you’d understand. Thanks!
Ahh, but dear friend, you have fulfilled that lofty goal. You are an award winning writer of prose and poetry, and you’ve made a living doing just that. I have faith and know in my heart that the right words are there and will come when you are ready. Sending you a great big air hug! 💖
Reverse hug!
My comment disappeared! Anyway, it was about how I’ve followed you for years. I enjoy so much your personal sharing, and especially about your pets, first Charlie and Abby and now your precious cats. Please don’t ever stop writing!
I don’t think I could ever stop, for I’ve been writing forever. I usually type with a hand brace because of the nerve problems in my hands, but I will always write.
Brenda, often when I read your blog I can feel my blood pressure dropping and I just sorta of enter a very relaxed zone! You have shared so much knowledge with women throughout the years and it is so appreciated.
Annette, I echo all that you said!
That is what I work toward!
Something happened to my previous comment, so I’ll try again but try to condense it. I started years ago when blogging was so easy. I don’t like SEO and all that goes with it. Long story short, my latest blog post wasn’t sent from Mailchimp. To say I’m livid with them would be an understatement. I just turned 78 and the thought of starting and learning with another email company is giving me second thoughts if I should just hang it up. Decisions, decisions! I still enjoy yours, Brenda.
What is your blog? I know a lot of Carols online!
https://theredpaintedcottage.com
I find your graphics inspiring and beautiful. They reflect your content!
Sometimes buying graphics is easier than taking photographs.
Good and honest writing is what I think about your blog. It doesn’t seem forced to me. Over the years your blog continues to interest me with a good variety of topics and reflections on life.
They say you’re more successful if you stick to a few topics, but I’ve had this blog for so long that I’d have run out of things to write about!
I had the same problem in school and still do. My mind would wander when I was suppose to be learning. I never felt like I was in the same league as my school mates. I have always felt different.
I really had a lot of responsibility thrown at me very early. I am still at 70 trying to let some of that go. It’s hard. I finally realized that I can’t be responsible for everyone else, can’t solve their issues.
I love your writing. It never seems forced to me.
I guess I know when it is, and I struggle with that.
Brenda,
Your writings reach many who feel as you do. Those that enjoy gardening and decorating their own homes in a cozy, and comfy way as you. I just turned 60 years old now and only wish I had the courage and talent that you do to write a blog.
I love to see what you have done with your garden and how you decorate your home weekly.
You are a wonderful blogger!
Well, I thank you!
And Brenda, I’m a very active 81 year old. You speak to my heart.
I do have a readership of older women, many of whom are somewhat isolated, and that’s who I write for.