I was in the lab in my doctor’s office building waiting to have bloodwork done. I’d checked in and was sitting near the elevators waiting for them to call my name.
And out of nowhere I heard a woman say: “I love your hair.”
I thought: Is someone talking to me?
Then I looked over and saw a woman smiling at me from about five feet away. A man who may have been her son was pushing her wheelchair. They were waiting for the elevator.
The elderly woman had small tufts of hair on her head. She’d obviously been ill.
Why I Shaved My Head:
I looked over at her and told her that it was a decision I made during the first months of COVID. I shaved my head because we couldn’t go to hair salons for hair cuts there for a while.
And I decided I liked it that way, much to my surprise.
Her tremulous smile said: That’s not why I don’t have hair. I didn’t choose it. But it’s nice to see another female who kind of looks like me anyway.
I said to no one in particular: “My ex-husband said that women get married and then cut off their hair. He’s long gone. And I’m not looking for a man.”
The Man Sitting Next To Me:
A man had sat down on the bench next to me. He spoke up then. “Well, I had a long ponytail two weeks ago. And I shaved my hair off too.”
I turned to look at him, seeing him for the first time.
“It was falling out anyway,” he said. So I just whacked it off and shaved it.”
Then he added: “And I’m not looking for a woman.”
I had not even noticed him sit down because I was looking the other way at the woman in the wheelchair waiting for the elevator.
“If a woman wants to shave her head, she should just do it,” the man said.
We three strangers were shaved head comrades in that little corridor near the elevator.
Then the elevator door opened and the woman in the wheelchair disappeared. The doors slid closed.
Why It Shouldn’t Be A Big Deal:
Hair is just hair. It’s not like having an arm or leg cut off due to something you had no control over.
You can shave hair and it will grow back. It was a decision I made. Not one that was made for me.
The elderly woman in the wheelchair probably lost her hair due to the repercussions of cancer. She probably yearned to have her hair grow back again.
And if she beat the dreadful disease that made her frail, maybe it would.
Because, in a fair and just world, it should be a decision that is hers to make. Like it is for me.
It shouldn’t be something that was taken from her without her say-so.
For just a few minutes there were three people, complete strangers, who probably had nothing else whatsoever in common.
We would never know one another’s names or be properly introduced.
But our three somewhat shiny heads set us apart from the others who happened to be near the elevator that day.
I loved this post. You write so well. The only thing I liked about chemo was having a bald head ! So easy ! My hair is kept very short so not a lot of upkeep, but still more than you. Perhaps I should shave mine. Keep lifting us up Brenda.
And you all lift me up as well. Don’t forget that.
Brenda,
Thank you for sharing, I loved this story.
If I don’t share these experiences with you, it may as well not have happened. Sharing means I put it in your heart as well as my own.
Your words, your words, your words….so beautiful and this Brenda is why you have to keep up your blog. Your writing style with moments like strangers all talking about their bald heads is why you still can put it so well with your words.
This blog is a huge part of my life. Part of my routine. And it comes from a place deep within.
I love these serendipitous occurrences that can be so uplifting. I had a similar experience the other day when I stopped by my local health food store to pick up a couple of things. I was looking at kombucha in the cooler when an older woman nearby said, “Are you getting kombucha? It’s really good for you. I used to make it.” We struck up a conversation and I learned that she was ninety-one–she looked about seventy–was still active and did home-care for “senior citizens”! She had the most bubbly personality and talked about having raised five children and told me about her grandchildren and great grandchildren and the ways she kept up her spirits–mostly helping others. Anyway, we had such an up-lifting chat and I left feeling utterly blessed by the encounter. I’ve tho’t several times since what a wonderful brief meeting with a complete stranger that I will probably never see again. It has given me a lift of spirit for days.
You just never know when a blessing like that will come your way if you are open to it. The world does indeed have positive things happening all the time!
Oh, I love that story! Just a brief encounter can enrich the rest of your day.
I loved this story today, Brenda! I can just imagine being there and hearing the whole thing in person. It definitely brought a smile to my face hearing about it from you. Thank you for sharing!
You’re quite welcome!
What wonderful experience!
I have noticed those who say they are not interested in marrying are the next to get married. I promised my aunt that I would not remarry. She was her husband’s caregiver for years. He was much older than my aunt.
I will never remarry and I will never date. Haven’t in all this time and I don’t plan to start.
My husband passed away six years ago and I have no desire to date or marry! I’m not sure if that is because my marriage was not a very happy or loving one because my husband was an alcoholic and a narcissist!
Love this story of a few minutes in your day – it will be remembered and enjoyed much longer. People talking to each other – rare these days and precious as this shows.
Mary in PA
These days we worry about a lot of things while out in the public. This truly was a precious memory I will hold on to. We all went our separate ways and that was it.
It helps to have a nice shaped head and ears like you do, Brenda…I probably should shave my head as there is little hair left after this year (2nd covid bout plus so much stress it could kill a horse…seems that and maybe other issues, like thyroid etc have had a huge impact). I read if one’s hair falls out due to stress, there is a chance (after 6 months) that it will return…I had not a lot to begin with in recent years, but now…I am hoping to have what is left cut short and then I have ordered a hat to see if I can manage to wear that when leaving the house (the sun is very hot here and I do not want to burn my head!!) But hair is so much our identity, it is very hard to deal with loosing it…getting older is not easy, but I think loosing one’s hair is harder. At least you chose it for yourself!! Do you wear hats and if so maybe you could share with us, where you found them and what you think??
Never worn a hat. Never sunburned my head. I never have used sun block and probably should. But just as I don’t use face cream, I hate to have things on my skin. I’d end up wiping it right off.
This is sort of story I’d love to read everyday. Even with all the crappy news that make the papers or internet I know there are millions of positive stories of all different kinds going on every day. Thank you so much for sharing Yours.. It truly brightened my day.
That is the reason I like to read Brenda’s blog.
That is exactly the reason I read Brenda’s blog, too!
Aw, thanks Cathy S!
You’re welcome, Sonny. Yes, lots of bad news out there. But I know there are good ones we just don’t hear about.
What a nice encounter you had.
It was special, just a few minutes of our lives.
Since the isolation of the pandemic and of being a caretaker for my husband, I never pass up and opportunity for conversation. I try not to be a pest, but a few words with another person is medicine for my soul.
I don’t blame you. And kindness is often contagious!
Nice story! We all need this kind of positive connection with each other in this day and age!
If only there were more people who talk to strangers in a nice way, in a nice conversation, without harshness or politics mixed in.
When I saw the title of this post, I was worried that you had a bad experience. How wonderful to read a happy tale of chance encounters with strangers! I’m sure you each brightened each others’ days!
It sure brightened my day! Conversations that begin with my hair. Or lack thereof.
Just shows how so often first glance of someone has so many layers. One shaved head due to frustration, one on a whim, and one from complete loss of control. Same appearance. But so different stories and emotions along with it…and all learned in about 10 seconds. I love these chance meetings. It’s like the world’s reminder to think deeper about things, enjoy each other, and a light reminder we are interconnected.
A chance meeting between strangers who would never know each other’s names. And it didn’t matter anyway.
I don’t shave my own head but I have the beautician use clippers on the back and sides and spike the top. I decided to cut my hair very short after my heart attack because it was so difficult to keep it up. Since I have cut my hair short, I have had compliments on it and several of my friends have gone and gotten theirs cut like mine. Its all Good!
It’s everyone’s individual choice. But boy, is it efficient to shave your head and not worry about all the things that deal with hair: brushes, shampoo, hair dryers, hair cuts, etc.
I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m glad it brightened your day.
What a wonderful chance conversation. I bet that made you smile all day long when you thought back on it!!
You’re right. It did. When I think about it I smile again.
I love it when random people reach out with a comment in a usually anonymous place like a grocery store or medical office. After it happens, I always promise myself I’ll pay it forward, but I never do. This post is encouragement!
As I said in another comment, so many bad things are going on in our world right now. It’s nice to have a little levity and strangers communicating without fear of violence.
Exactly. Every time I’m in public, I try to say at least hello to someone I pass or encounter. If a brief conversation ensues, so much the better. People in public usually talk to me first (Brian always says I must have “talk to me” stamped on my forehead) anyway. We never know whose days we will make just by saying hello or making a compliment such as, “I like your hair”.
I’m going to be smiling about your wonderful chance encounter for the rest of the day. Just a few minutes of great conversation, not about religion, politics, etc but about hair. I love it!!!
I, too, had a snicker and giggle about the gentleman saying he wasn’t looking for a woman! LOL
Have a great day, Brenda.
We could have been friends, he and I!
And, me because I have zero interest in having another man in my life. I’d enjoy having a friend like you have in your next door neighbor but that’s not easy to find.
I have been reading your blog for years, and don’t normally write comments, but I just had to comment on your post today. I really liked your “hair experience” with the strangers. It was such a lovely thing and nowadays we need all need to hear more about the little sweet things that happen in every day life
That was so beautiful! Three people brought together because of their hair styles!
You just never know what will bring people together. During these harsh times, we need that.
Such a sweet and funny story! Thank you for sharing it.
It was both sweet and funny. And odd for three strangers to talk to one another over shaved heads!
Did you not get a good laugh out of the comment of the man who cut off his ponytail when he said he wasn’t looking for a woman? (I did). A moment of shared comradery among the three of you and the man pushing the lady’s wheel chair – humor can bring people close together, even if it’s just for a second or two. It resonates and stays with a person and can bring a smile to their face throughout the day, and maybe every time in the future too.
Yes, I did get a good laugh. He spoke up and became part of the conversation. I’m so glad he did.