Out Of The Loop
I just got back from Supercuts where I got my hair cut, and now I’m having my cup of coffee. I was gone maybe 30 minutes. I like to get back to Charlie so he doesn’t get too stressed.
This time I had her go even shorter on top. There is no cutting with scissors. It’s just shaved. It takes all of maybe 2-3 minutes. And it feels so good to have that thick hair on top gone.
Some women are very picky about their hair. I just want it short and easy to deal with.
Every morning when I get up I stick my head under the bathroom faucet to get it wet, then run my brush over it. Even though I don’t really need to do that when it’s recently been cut.
I’m a big fan of easy. I tend to order the same clothing over and over because I’m not going into a store to try clothing on. I tend to order pretty much the same shoes online for much the same reason.
I’m a creature of habit to the “nth” degree.
You won’t see me wearing any jewelry except for my wrist watch. I have a small box of jewelry somewhere, but I haven’t even opened the box in many years. There’s nothing expensive in it.
So a person like me saves a great deal of money on clothing and shoes and such. Instead I put what money I have in my home and garden space.
My patio is my special place. Where I grow flowers and herbs and vines and vegetables. My gardening space is my little slice of heaven.
And photography is my favorite hobby. I love to take photos. I actually broke both sides of my ankle in 2012 trying to save my camera, which was hanging around my neck when I fell.
I did save the camera. But not my ankle. And I ended up having two surgeries over 2 years time. It still isn’t quite right.
If I had it to do over and have a few more seconds to actually think about it, I would have let the camera go and saved my ankle.
But hindsight of course is 20/20.
I had that camera for about 8-9 years. And just this past year I bought a new one pretty much just like it.
During those 8-9 years time I took thousands and thousands of photos. And before that digital Canon I had a Canon Rebel, which was before digital was a thing.
Cars don’t matter to me either. My Pathfinder is 12 years old with about 46,000 miles on it. Never had a problem with it. Knock firmly on wood.
I’ve just had regular oil changes and added four new tires. I had a leak around the transmission somewhere last January and had to have it fixed, and I have had the front brakes replaced.
This SUV has been a good car. It was a dealer car when I bought it. My ex drove it to work three days a week the first couple of years.
But other than that, I’ve been the sole driver.
I have heated seats and all kinds of things on that car. I never use them. I haven’t even turned on the radio in about 10 years.
Yes, I’m quite the creature of habit! I use a car simply to get from point A to point B.
I never drive at night. I haven’t even been out at night in many years. I rarely go out after 4 p.m. because I hate traffic.
I don’t carry a smart phone. Tried it. Didn’t like the distraction. When I’m out, I want to be left alone. I hate walking around a store listening to conversations I would not ordinarily be privy too.
I carry an emergency phone for emergencies only. I don’t even put minutes on it. I use my home phone, and it rarely rings. When it does, it’s typically a name and number I don’t recognize, so I won’t answer it.
My daughter and I tend to email back and forth for the most part. I refuse to text, and she has told me that her father won’t either.
Obviously we don’t like to talk on the phone. We have quite a bit in common, he and I, so why have we been divorced for most of her life? I think the 13 year age difference was a big factor.
I first met him when he was teaching a psychology class when I was in college.
The one thing that might change around here is the decorating of my apartment and my patio garden. That’s where I choose to unleash my creativity.
But all in all, I’m really rather boring. I don’t attend gatherings of more than a few people. (My daughter brings me holiday meals in the afternoon after they’ve eaten and have cleaned up).
I’m very lucky to have an understanding daughter, and she is very special to me. She and Andrew are the light of my life. Well, and Charlie of course.
I don’t travel because that would mean upsetting my routine.
So when you take all this into consideration, I realize that I’ve become one of those old grannies who are not in the loop. I am an anachronism.
I don’t know anything about streaming video or talking to objects in my home to take care of tasks. Because I don’t want to.
I like my spot out of the loop. It’s nice and quiet and generally free from chaos.
I’ve become one of those people. And I don’t mind being boring at all.
Brenda I don’t think you are boring. You are decisive and know what you like and value and what you don’t. I order severAl pair of shoes same style sometimes different colors sometimes not. When a shoes is comfortable I don’t mind wearing the same style over and over. I haven’t been able to Garden at all this year due to back surgery but hope next year I’ll be able to do so. I no longer have indoor plants either due to the adoption of three feral cats who are now domesticated. I took each one home from feral colonies I was feeding due to illness. They bring me joy but I am missing my dog terribly. She was a stray too and I had her for 15 years. She found me in my yard when I was gardening and she decided to stay and became my best buddy. She was a Boxer/ Labrador but was as gentle as could be. I lost her to cancer this past August and I find coming home now very hard without her. The cats are company but she just was so full of love and energy and I miss her daily interactions with me. My car seldom moved without her unless it was too hot and I had errands to run. Just not ready for another dog as I think it would be so hard to live up to her and I may move. So for now wishing I could garden and stay busy reading and caring for my fine little felines. I love reading your blog. I save your posts to read at night as a treat before I head off to bed or book. I NEVER find your writing boring and I feel like I learn from you all the time.
I have several dear friends and I enjoy doing things with them every so often, but I don’t crave a more extensive social life at all. I am quite content being at home most of the time. As long as I have reading material and the foods I like to eat and my yard and plants I am happy. I can’t afford to have a car right now and maybe not ever and that drives me a little bonkers. Even though I’m not wanting to go out a lot I like to be free to do so without arranging to use my daughter’s car all the time. That’s probably the thing that frustrates me most right now. Most days, though, I am busy and happy to be puttering around at home. I’ve even ordered my groceries and had them picked up from the store several times. I really hate grocery shopping–carrying all those bags to the car and loading them and then unloading them and putting the food away is exhausting! And one of my big pet peeves is the way the baggers can’t seem to pack the bags so a person doesn’t need a crane to lift them. I always request that they pack them so they aren’t too heavy and then I find all the bottles and milk cartons in one bag. Or all the canned goods in one bag. It makes me crazy! And I also hate those self check-out machines even though I can pack my own bags. The ones at my grocery store are always stalling and calling the attendant for no dsicernable reason. Aargh! Okay, done with rant!
I think it’s just fine to be a home-body. Everything is so rush-rush and do-more in our culture now. I want slow and simple. I’m with you, Brenda, regarding having a cell phone. I used to have one of the flip phones, but now I don’t have any type of cell phone. I don’t want to be accessible to everyone all the time. I certainly don’t want to be talking on the phone while I’m grocery shopping! I really should get another simple cell phone for emergencies, but I keep putting it off.
All of us who are of like mind with the preferences you have for simplicity and quiet are entitled to live the way that pleases us with no apologies. The only thing I lack that would make me happier is my beloved Tavi dog. And that is not to be.
No smart phone here, no cell phone either now that I’m retired. I’m thinking about getting a cheap service like Consumer Cellular through AARP since I’m a member, we’ll see. I would hate to have an emergency situation and not have access to a phone. When I was growing up and a grown up until cell phones took over the entire world there WERE telephone booths everywhere and calls cost a dime. Nobody vandalized phones in those days, ripping them out by the cord, smashing the glass. Makes me sick to my stomach sometimes to think how low we have fallen as a society. I also don’t answer my phone. I had a code with friends and family for awhile to use to call me – dial and let rings so many times, hang up and then call back and I would pick up, but now I tell them to email me or leave a message and eventually, when I remember to check my voice mail (which isn’t very often, I admit), I’ll call them back. I’m no techy but I do know about streaming video. Now do I know a thing about how to record a video or anything like that, nope? But I know how to watch them online, LOL! And I have a subscription to Sling TV (which I love) and Hulu (which I’m falling out of love with). Like you, my yard is my sanctuary. When I was working it was a safe sheltered haven away from that entire world. Now that I’m retired it’s a place I dawdle around in when the weather permits (I can’t do hot and humid anymore, and sadly the climate here has changed to that for most of the summer – it NEVER used to be that way, I’ve lived here my entire life and can attest that climate change is very real). The cooler dryer air will be coming soon, and even into November there will be days when the wind is out of the west and the backyard is sheltered by the bulk of the house (front faces west, backyard faces east), and I’ll be able to sit in my Shezebo and read for hours, with CNN news on Sling TV or MSNBC programming playing on the radio online (Tune In). I relish those days. It doesn’t take much to please me 🙂
I think kindred spirits are drawn to your blog. If my daughter was older, I would be doing what you are doing, too. My husband is the same way – quiet endeavors, time in nature, mix with only a small group of folks.
With only 46K on your car, it should last a VERY long time with only things like plastic parts and tires needing replacements. Good one there! Cars are so expensive, even if they just sit in the driveway. But despite my quiet ways, I like having wheels to take me WHERE I want to go WHEN I want to go!
I love reading this Brenda. My whole immediate family is this way and people think we are weird because we don’t go out all time, go on vacations, and prefer each other’s company. Nice to read your blog and see the other comments. There are many of us out there!
As long as you are happy and satisfied, that’s all that matters. I can very much relate to being a creature of habit. I don’t shop unless I have to and even then I will wear something into the ground. I also order the same shoes over and over and I’ve carried the same purse for three years now.
I had to chuckle when I read this because I realized we have a lot in common…….Not only to I routinely get a haircut every 4 weeks keeping it short and easy but i also let it go gray several years ago!!
I do not buy a lot of clothes especially since while still working, I wear scrubs….. I too spend my money on our home…
Both of our cars are 12 and 13 years old. Neither Joe or I have Smart phones. We have flip phones that were free fro Target and only pay Consumer Cellular $30 a month. We do not text and do not even have the phones set up to do so!! I do spent time on the computer and email….
I also do not like crowds and a lot of people, hence the reason I work night shift.
And I do not stream anything either!!
May I ask what type of camera you have????
I really enjoyed your post!!
I also live a very simple life. Your Blog today sounds just like my life. Only difference is I do manage our church Thrift Store, which gets me out of the house 3 or 4 times a week, but when I am home I do not like to leave for anything.
None of my children live close, so I only talk to them on the phone (land line). I also have a cell phone I carry just in case I need one.
I turned 83 this year and try to stay as active as I can. I also had eye surgery this past year, buy any clothes I need at the Thrift Store, love Zappos for shoes (have not bought any shoes for awhile).
Good to hear there are others like me….
Marilynn and Hayley
Hello Brenda- I enjoyed your post today! I too enjoy solitude. For the last 3 years my husband and I have cared for my dear mother at home- she is still with us .She has advanced dementia and we can not take her out to public places any longer.Requires a hoyer lift to move her-for safety.I am rambling on – I struggled with the isolation at first- now I have adjusted and my days are very full.I am able to appreciate the many gifts of a slow -but steady pace. A wonderful example- yesterday I witnessed a hummingbird in torpor- their natural state of rest- made my day! Best wishes to you and Sweet Charlie?
I have commented before on your blog even though I donot have my own. I completely agree with your blog today . I recently turned 65 and I feel the same as you regarding life today and so does a friend of mine who turned 55. I admire you and your values. God bless you and Charlie!
As we age I think simple is better .
So many things have to be given up as we age ,whether we want to or not .
I have grieved many things in the last few years especially my work and being with people .
I am a people person so I have missed that alot .
Life goes on and we must adjust if you are a simple person their is less adjustment .
I am pretty content at the moment .Happiness is inside ourselves !
Have a wonderful afternoon you and your Charlie !!!
Great insight today into your life !
I love my life. I used to think I was weird. I just didn’t want all the same things others want.
now I accept the fact that I’m different and that I can still be ok! I love beauty. and when I say I’m a cozy minimalist that’s what I mean. I have enough to suit my desire for beauty but not so busy that I get overwhelmed by it and can’t breathe! I could easily be a monk I think. I need lots of solitude.
solitude. fresh air. coolness. small surroundings. all dogs and animals in general. the sky. mist. and rainy days. these are things I value the most!
I have alot of clothes and sneakers so I didn’t buy anything this year yet. When I like something I buy it in every color they have bc it’s comfortable. ?I’ve been wearing shorts, tank tops and dresses this summer-way to hot for anything else!
I have the radio on or listen to my cds -rock and dance to favs…exercise.
I love to bake and cook and of course decorate-making crafts not so much. Lol.
I’m a homebody, but I like people around too. I love listening to the neighborhood kids telling me all about school and showing me they can ride a bike now. I clap and say yay I’m so happy for you! I also holler when cars go to fast down my st. If I’m outside I watch over the kids! Lol. One little boy said he wished my dog was as nice as me. Kids say the cutest things…whatever is on their mind. They make me laugh alot! I taught one to stop studdering and walked him home once bc this guy rode by 5 times watching him! Creepy!
This dog is not friendly like my golden was. One little girl said I should get another dog, that’s friendly like hers. Lol. I’m going to try a muzzle on him, hoping that will calm him down. He would get many pats, hugs, and kisses from them! Sometimes there’s at least 11 kids in my yard talking to me! It reminds me when my kids were little, I had at least 10 kids in my house at a time-always good. Plus everyone knew their kids were safe and there was always homemade treats! I miss those days alot!
I look forward to boring. I agree with several of the other commenters, that you are not living in a mold as so many others are. Sometimes I feel like I am on the proverbial treadmill.
My husband has a expensive pick up truck. Because our daughter in law is a CPA and got us a discount on the price
My car which we bought brand new is 16 years old. With only 25,000 miles. Before my husband retired he had a company provided vehicle so we used that. We all have our priorities how we spend our money. And that is a good thing.
You and me both, Brenda although I do travel quite often only because my husband does all the driving and I can just look. If I lived alone, I’d probably do as you do. I like my solitude with an occasional visit from grandchildren and children. I hate talking on the phone. I don’t text either. Everything I do is solitary. Reading, quilting, knitting, gardening. I share what I make because I don’t need that much. I don’t like to drive at all. Never have. If I could afford one, I’d hire a chauffer to take me places. I don’t want to deal with keeping a car up. I don’t thing we are boring. Maybe eccentric. My daughter has even told me I am and I don’t mind it at all. We are authentic eccentrics and we should wear the badge proudly. I’m happy with that.
Brenda, I’m out of the loop too, maybe not quite as much as you but very close. And you know what? I like it that way. When my brother calls I never have anything new to tell him….I just tell him he has a boring, but happy, sister!! We just got a new car, our old car was 14 years old and served us well. Like you, Mr D took very good care of it and it always got us where we needed to be.
I, too, like nice, boring days! I love to stay at home with my little dogs and just putter doing things I enjoy. I like to garden and read (especially mysteries) and spending time with my kids and grandkids. I think the simple, frugal life is the best!
We have a great deal in common!
My lifestyle is much like yours and I am content with it. Keeping is simple is important to me.
Simple is good.
Pretty much what you said , relates to me too. Altho, I do own some special jewelry, and quite a lot of costume jewelry. I do have a love of knee high boots (own 9 pair) for winter wear, but I am not a big clothes shopper anymore, (winter time it’s black turtle necks and jeans, summer, probably white T shirts and jeans, other than that, no cell phone, no driving at night, We do drive a Lincoln, which is my husbands car of choice, but if it was up to me, I am like you, all I need is any kind of car to get me from A to B. We travel very little, and I am comfortable with that too. I love being at home, just doing the simple things of everyday life. Love books, and have a lot of them in my library. Reading a book, sitting with the cat, suits me just fine…Oh, and planting my flowers and taking care of them. I believe more woman are like us, probably more than we think there are.
I think there are more women like us too. They just aren’t talking about it, and that’s because introverted people don’t announce everything they do! My ex had to have a new car. The month he paid off a car is the month he traded it in. I thought it was such a waste of money. People like that typically have to show off. They’re insecure.
You enjoy your life. So do I, I don’t like to be forced into a mold and do and act like every one else or
try to keep up with the latest thing (whatever that is). I admire those who are comfortable with who they are, and do not succumb to peer pressure. I am not antisocial, but I don’t need a lot of social interaction. My husband and I enjoy our life, our adult children and a few select friends. My parents were that way and our children are also. Wonder what disorder people would peg us with?
I think we’re normal and just don’t need a lot outside of ourselves and a select few. I’m happy with my lot. Sounds like you are too.
Steve and I are both creatures of habit and it has been difficult for us during our bathroom remodel. Living elsewhere for 3 weeks was really different for us. It was a gorgeous house right on the water and the neighbors were lovely. But, it wasn’t our house.
We’ve been back in the house for over a week, but the bathroom is not finished. And, it’s still a bit stressful. Routine is important to us.
I saw over on your blog that you were undergoing some renovations. I imagine it was hard. Home is home!
CAROL COOK, I WOULD LOVE TO KNOW THE NAME OF YOUR BLOG SINCE I REALLY ENJOY CHECKING THEM OUT. THX
Nita, click on her name on her comment and it will take you there. Her blog is “Art and Sand”
Brenda, you like your world neat and orderly and love your routine, there is nothing wrong with that. I am getting more and more set in my ways as I age and I find myself more and more of a homebody.
We moved every 2 years when I was a child, until I was 14 then we settled in Wisconsin. I have gone to very small private schools my entire life, including at one point a one room school house. My siblings are my best friends not only because of our transient upbringing but also because we like and enjoy one another. I am an introvert and love small intimate gatherings as opposed to parties. I have been blessed to travel the world with my first overseas trip at the age of 16 and have been traveling ever since. Lately though I am most happy at home with my pups, and husband.
I love routine, and order, it helps me feel like I have a little control in a crazy world.
We all have to do what makes our world work for us.
I hope that you have a great day!
Sounds like you saw a lot of places as a child. But I know children like to stay in one place and have stability to make friends in school. But you had your siblings. Wish I had known mine.
Sounds great to me, nobody is taking advantage of you. I love that you don’t care about hair, clothes, or shoes. That alleviates a lot of unnecessary stress. Thank you again for sharing with us.
I do like to decorate my home and put plants in my garden. Other than that, my goal is just to take proper care of Charlie and me. On Andrew’s birthday, I take him into a store and he picks something out that his mother will allow. She and I stopped doing gifts years ago. We take each other to lunch on birthdays. She’s as frugal as I am!
I understand this! I am much the same, ordering most things online. Where do you order your shoes from? That is the thing I have the most trouble finding online. I just need simple ones. Nothing fancy, as I don’t go anywhere!
Go to Zappos, free shipping and easy returns, that you don’t pay for either!
I too use Zappos. Have for years.
I always order from Zappos. I haven’t ordered in two years, but I’m about due for new sneakers. Actually past due, but I’m wearing them till they fall completely apart because I don’t like to get accustomed to new shoes!
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