I know everything right now is all about Christmas. But if you’re like me, it is starting to be holiday overload.
I know I’ve seen hundreds of Christmas decorating for months, and I need to think about something else for a little while.
So I’m going to write about a recurring dream.
The Recurring Dream:
I still see her oftentimes. A little girl in a boat. She’s about three years old. Maybe some of you remember my mentioning it before.
I’m probably ten years old in the dream. We’re at some sort of summer camp event. There is a young woman in the boat with us, our chaperone.
We’re just floating out on the water, pretty far from shore. I don’t recall if anyone is talking. For me there is silence. Everyone is looking out toward the water, gazing at the sights.
The trees seem to reach up and graze the sky. Birds soaring overhead.
My gaze has fallen on the little girl sitting across from me in the boat. Her eyes meet mine.
I see her raise herself up from the flat seat in the boat, and scoot up to the edge. She is unafraid, like children her age often are.
I watch her as she begins to bounce up and down on the edge of the boat. She is smiling and having fun.
Up and down. Up and down she goes.
I know something bad is going to happen. But I can’t find my voice. I open my mouth to speak and nothing comes out.
And She Falls Backward:
In mere seconds, she loses her balance and falls backward. Her eyes widen as she realizes something scary is happening to her.
Why couldn’t I find my voice?
Finally I did, when she was just ripples in the water. I screamed that she fell over the edge.
The chaperone turned to face me, then went into active mode. She rises and quickly dives into the water. She goes under, searching for the little girl.
All the children are open-mouthed, suddenly filled with alarm.
The woman comes up, gasping for air. She shakes the water out of her eyes, and droplets from her hair ping back onto the dark surface.
Finally she stops diving under and hoists herself up by her arms over the edge of the boat and back into it.
The Little Girl Is Gone:
My heart is pounding. “But you didn’t find her!” I yell. “You have to go back and find her!”
Her face twists up with emotion and she shakes her head.
“No! You can’t leave her down there. Please! Go back!”
Tears are streaming down her face. “She’s gone,” she says. “I’m sorry. But I can’t find her. It’s so dark down there.”
I can’t believe it. I look out over the water. She fell backward and the lake just gulped her up. Then closed its curtain of darkness over her as though she’d never been.
Little ripples caused by a little body. Gone in an instant into a dark abyss.
She was smiling at me just seconds before she fell backward, as if to say: Look at me, look at me! Unaware of the danger behind her.
It swallowed her up and no one could save her.
Back On Shore:
Once on land, I see everyone talking; many crying. Adults and children gather together looking out over the water.
I stand alone. I don’t speak to anyone. I just stare out over the water.
A little girl, too young to understand about the danger of drowing took advantage of the fact that no one was keeping an eye on her. She lifted herself up to the edge of the boat.
I keep seeing her eyes as they meet mine. I see her sweet little girl smile.
Why was I the only witness?
Why could I not speak? Why could I not let the chaperone know before it was too late?
And why is it so clear in my mind? Most of my dreams are muddled and vague.
Do you have a dream that won’t let you out of its grip?
What do you think the significance is of dreams? Are they just particles of life mixed into a stew and stirred into the universe?