1. The laws vary by state even though Social Security is a federal program. If you have worked you could receive less.

    1. Brenda, thank you for including a link to 60 & Me. I am just recently retired and feeling out of place. I feel that this website is just the ticket for me. I just wanted to say I have been reading and enjoying your blog for years. Thank you for providing insights and helping others with your life experiences. Best regards to you, Charlie and Ivy, Lisa Loch

  2. Excellent post Brenda. I actually have many friends who are going through this right now, all over 50, only one is engaged.

  3. I, too found Margaret on “Sixty & Me” on YouTube….I enjoyed her videos and her website a lot.
    I’m one of your lurkers that doesn’t comment very often, but I love reading your blog and seeing pictures of what decor you’ve put together next.
    Thank you!

  4. Brenda, Please take my last name off my comment before publishing. Thank you.

  5. Interesting perspective. I have to say, IMHO, that if someone is NOW just about 50 and they have not had the sense to either have a job or a decent skill where they could get a job, that is beyond belief! I’m 65 and I had the sense, even back in the 70’s, to be sure to get a college degree (Associate, not a Bachelor’s) and get a decent job so as to support myself IN CASE I didn’t get married. Or even if I did get married, you just never know what the future holds. These young girls I see who have a bunch of kids and never bothered to work after they got a degree are the ones living in La La Land! Especially when the unemployment rate was so high just a few years ago. And they are living the life of a big house, big car, nice everything. We’ll see how that plays out for them. But there is really no excuse for someone 50 or younger at present, to not have a job. Ignorance is no excuse anymore.

  6. I have many older friends who would never consider remarrying! Too often those old men are looking for “a nurse or a purse”!! We don’t intend to be either one! LOL

    1. Your comment about “A nurse or a purse” made me chuckle and think of my mom. She was not divorced, but was widowed at age 67 when my dad died of a heart attack after over a decade of cardiac issues. When she was in her 70s, my mom began to spend time with a man she had gone to high school with. His health began to fail, and his daughters and he began to push for my mom and him to get married. But my mom wasn’t having any of it, and said no, she would bring him food and visit with him but she was not going to get married again. She told me in private, “I already took care of one sick husband and I’m not going to take care of another one.” She’s now 88 and has had her own health issues over the years, including having cancer. She is in good health now, but I really doubt that she would be doing so well if she had taken on another sick husband.

      1. Brenda, first of all I love your blog and read it every day. Today’s topic of divorced women was really
        interesting. I am not divorced, but I am very interested how women survive being divorced or widowed
        when they are older…. the nitty-gritty of it. How did they find a home, a job, what did they do to actually
        survive, how did they feed themselves, were they scared, how much/how little money did they have,
        and to talk about the brokenness at the beginning and how they got to be thriving. Would you ever
        be interested in writing a book or starting another blog that just features older women and how they
        survive? Based on the comments you get when you write about emotional things, I think it would be a hit because even for the happily married, there could always come a day when the “what if” happens.
        Thanks for listening.

        a hit. An

  7. Brenda, I divorced at age 40. I have since remarried, but after the initial adjustment I did love being single. It was, at times, a little rocky on the income side, even though I held a good job. But as you said, I answered to no one but myself. There are times I wish for the single life again, but the advantages of being married currently outweigh the disadvantages. As far as social security is concerned, I believe you can be remarried and still receive some of your ex-husbands social security. When you apply, that is one of the questions you are asked and it seemed to up my SS income. I’m not an expert, by any means, but that’s how I remember it. That’s why I feel like it’s much better to apply in person, you can ask all your questions face to face. Thanks for providing your readers with good content, there are probably many who do have questions on this very subject.

  8. I did it, but it wasn’t easy. 1980 in the rear view mirror is a long way back there but it saved my sanity and my life. It is possible to go through it and enjoy the single life on your own. No more fear or having to follow orders from a tyrant. Life is beautiful. Here’s to the survivors, God bless them.

    1. Thank you for this information. I appreciate you explaining how the divorced party’s benefit from the former spouse is reduced if the divorced party files before her FULL
      Retirement date. I was a stay at home wife for 25 years. My Social Security office gave me incorrect information when I filed at 62. So now I can not collect on my former spouse’s larger account because my discount for filing early under my earnings is subtracted from his benefit before half of his earnings is considered. If they had correctly told me this I could have waited until I was 65 and at my full retirement age. social Security is not responsible for giving incorrect information. You have spread very important information today.

      1. And another thing, if your ex spouse dies, as mine did, I was able to collect benefits right before I turned 62. I think I got my first check in my checking account the month of my 62 birthday, which was this past February. In that case, you are considered a survivor. Otherwise I’d have had to wait until I was almost 67 if he had not died.

        1. I just checked the SS site. You have to be within 3 months of your 62 birthday, which I was. If you are divorced, you are still considered for widow’s benefits if you were married at least 10 years.

  9. Thank you. I could have written this story myself. Even though I was terrified when my husband left me with no money, no home, and wrecked credit, the weight off my shoulders was a glorious thing. We are stronger than we think.

  10. How did you know? My husband died 20 years ago at 56. I was sad and depressed for 5+ years. I dated and drank a lot and gratefully survived. I did collect his SS at 59 and was able to afford Kaiser healthcare. Now I am happy to say *I Am Thriving*. Thanks for reminding me how far I’ve come. To all the women out there whose spouses left or died … YOU WILL SURVIVE AND THRIVE. Gratefully yours, Susan

    1. Thank you for sharing the information about social security. Most people do not know the rules and regulations. Social security administration will not tell women that they are entitled to benefits from the ex husbands account. If asked of course they will answer the questions. I am a registered tax accountant and see so many examples of the poverty amoung women who have devoted their lives to taking care of husband and home. Only to be rewarded with being tossed out like yesterdays trash. Most of those men think they have prospered all on their own. Which of course is far from true. I will get down from my soap box now but again want to thank you for your upbuilding post.

  11. I am grateful for the information you share! At 62 I am searching for answers for my future retirement and how to survive on very little income. I plan to check out these links! Thank you!

  12. As the song says, “wisdom born of pain”. You have done very well for yourself Brenda!

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