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  1. You have such a way with words … I was drawn in to what you wrote before I realized what your real subject was. Been there — emotional abuse — done that and never again. Hopefully your words will help other women see what’s actually going on in their lives and encourage them to make a change.

  2. Thank you for talking about this topic. The more this is discussed the better we can help others. Also, I think we need to start believing women when they come forward. Not all abuse leaves a bruise.

    1. I have had my Cinderella story. I got married right out of high school. I was in love with first man I dated and after we got married I had 4 years of bills not paid and bill collectors at the door. I had an “allowance” of $5 a week. When we divorced, I was still wearing the clothes I wore in high school. No budget for clothes, you see, but he had all the new electronic equipment and a motorcycle…and a girlfriend. I returned to my parents’ house and began working at a department store. Met a college student who worked there when he was home on break. A year later we married and it has been 40 years of love. I truly have been blessed. Three wonderful kids. Paid bills. Always feel loved and respected.

  3. Just this morning, I was looking for the envelope to mail a birthday card. I JUST HAD IT, and somehow, I had the card, but could not find the envelope. I was so mad, lol! I feel so sorry for all the women out there stuck in those unhealthy, manipulative relationships. I pray they find the strength to leave and make a much better life for themselves. Everyone deserves to be happy, loved, respected, and accepted for who they are.

  4. Too many of us have this sad story in common…brings lots of flashbacks…I finally got out too with the help of my own daughter…my children too are my everything…beautifully written and heartbreaking for all of us who have lived it 💕

  5. My aunt who was married twice (first one could not keep his pants on, second one just grew old and died, though was not easy to live with in ways) told me: Strong women attract weak men. I think she is right. YOU ARE STRONG, Brenda…look what you survived!! Some forms of weakness are easier to deal with. But safe to say, most men (and maybe women too) definitely become great at acting during the dating time. I think too that perhaps since time began the woman was to blame for most everything, and you can just become a scapegoat. You wrote this well. Sadly. But the perfect world is not here…not yet!!

  6. Very serious topic, so much truth and unfortunately too common. At a young age you are learning and developing self worth, confidence, and hope. It just takes one narcistic, manipulative man who you believe loves you but it turns out only loves himself.
    Did I waste my life? No! I have 3 grown children who are good, kind, productive with children of their own who have made anything that happened in my life worth it and these children and grandchildren only add to my life.

  7. Thank you so much for this post Brenda. This was all my life … until I left him !

  8. Once again, excellent writing and on a difficult subject. Your last two sentences really bring your message home! Yep, we all dreamed about the sweet little white house with the perfect picket fence surrounded by colorful posies, did we not?
    Am blessed, have not experienced this to any depth that warrant it be called abuse and truly feel for those who have. No one deserves to be broken like this by the hands or words of anyone else. No one.
    And yes, I can lose something while sitting at same table in same chair and not have moved an inch-OMG so frustrating and right up there with finding a two-inch hair growing under my jaw line and saying “how the heck did I not see this sooner” while assuming others too polite to say anything have seen it. YIKES! The golden years of aging. Sigh.

    1. Chris, you made me laugh out loud about the 2 inch hair! Hahahaha! Sooooo funny! 😂

  9. Cinderella was abused before she went to the dance. I hope the prince loved her dearly.

    1. Excellent point, forgot about that part. Now me thinks what if her prince turned out to be an abuser and this is another case where this Cinderella ends up unknowingly choosing what turns out to be the life she already knows. Ok, too much analytical thought for even me. Yep, I’m with you, lets hope the prince did indeed love her dearly. Everyone should be blessed to experience such love in their lifetime.

      1. Doesn’t the story end, “And they lived happily ever after!” ?

  10. We were told at the end of “Cinderella” that she and the Prince lived happily ever after. But then, it was a man who wrote that fairy tale. In fact, it was men who wrote all of the fairy tales with which we are most familiar.

  11. Oh, how often have I searched for something only to find it where I looked numerous times. I’ve even picked up said item to look behind it. LOL
    My Cinderella story is similar but not the same. It took me years to finally figure out what was happening and put an abrupt end to it. You don’t realize that you’ve been experiencing manipulation and lies. You have to muster up everything in you to believe it when it hits you right between the eyes.
    I enjoyed today’s post because I totally get it.

  12. Brenda, you are such a brave and worthy woman, and I am so glad that I get an email from you every day. I had a similar childhood but not nearly as bad…I met a good hearted and wonderful boy and we eventually married and have been for 57 years. I would never intentionally hurt his feelings nor would he mine. Take care, stay strong and safe, and always be kind to yourself because you deserve it.

  13. It is sad that women that are abused often times are so isolated and have no one but the abuser to turn to and stay in the abuse risking their well being and sometimes their lives. Especially when children are involved in the equation too. I am glad there are more resources for women then there use to be. Have a good week. By the way I have done many times what happened with the saucer lol! You are not alone. Hugs. Kris

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