Daily Gratitude
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There is something to be said for daily gratitude. It enhances our lives, making us more positive and healthy. It helps us to put things in perspective.
Feeling grateful is like taking a deep breath, and it automatically seems to steady and balance everything in your life.
Gratitude says, “I see this goodness. I recognize it. And I’m thankful it’s here.”
Even in seasons when life feels complicated or heavy, gratitude can be a small candle, reminding you that light still exists. That you are not alone, and that there is beauty worth noticing.
It’s a feeling that turns what you have into enough to behold. There is something to be said for daily gratitude. It enhances our lives, makes us feel more positive, and helps us put things in perspective.
I’ve never for one minute missed my old house in Texas. I was thinking about that yesterday. I do sometimes think longingly about my beautiful pond and garden spaces.
When Love Goes Bad:
One of the first things I admired about him was his perfect hands. Long slender fingers with nary an age spot on them. Hands that I’d wager had never dug in the dirt. I doubt he’d ever had to scrape soil from underneath his fingernails.
Toward the end, as soon as I’d hear that damned garage door grinding up, I’d stop whatever I was doing and head outside. He might come out and say he was home. But he wouldn’t stay outdoors long enough to build a sweat.
Of that I was certain.
And during the brief times when he actually came outside, I got to where I would never turn to face him. I kept my eyes on whatever I was doing, my words trailing behind me as if to imply, I’m so busy doing something that I can’t take the time to turn around.
I guess that wasn’t polite. It was what had become of things.
Avoidance.
How much time I wasted, that’s what I regret now. But with my “glass half full” mentality that I finally acquired, I don’t let myself dwell on things like that.
The thing is, none of us is perfect. Mistakes are what shape us. Without them, we’d hardly know what gratitude truly is, the depth and breadth of it.
Being Grateful:
I’m grateful for my little place in life. I’m thankful that I finally had the wherewithal to break out on my own, terrified as I was, heart beating like I was being chased, as I left that place behind.
I suppose I was being chased in a way. By the thought that that was it. That my life would continue with him and feel as barren as an empty field. There was the idea that I’d possibly never feel true joy again.
The whole thing would go on dismally until one of us died...
That finally forced my hand. Knowing without reservation that that would have been the true tragedy of it all. Just letting that barren field go entirely to seed.
Grateful for Charlie:
Charlie typically gets his acupuncture treatments on the day that the second vet comes in from her home in Bartlesville.
If she isn’t getting the results she wants, she will study and research the problem until she finds something else to try.
Yesterday at Charlie’s land therapy session, they weren’t having much success with his exercises. The poor boy’s front legs shake so much because of his back and neck pain.
The therapy techs were trying to get him to use specific muscles on a blown-up pillow, but he was having none of it.
So the two techs called the vet in the next room and asked her what to do. She said to have Mom step out of the room and see if he responds better. She felt that Charlie thought I would rescue him from the exercises if I were present.
I stood out in the hall for a bit. Then they called me back in. They said he refused to do anything at all when I wasn’t where he could see me. So would I please come back into the room?
I am grateful…
Charlie’s Reaction at the Acupuncture Clinic:
My poor Charlie. His front legs have shaken for several years when he stands. Now he’s got to use those front legs to help him with his back legs.
When he could get away from them and find an open door, Charlie was out of there. He ran to me as if to say: “Okay, Mom, I’ve had enough. Let’s go home now.”
I felt so sorry for him. But if he doesn’t use these muscles, they will continue to atrophy. The discs in his neck and back are keeping him from really feeling the sensations in his legs. They have to make sure he does exercises so he can remain mobile.
It’s so tough to watch your pets get old and struggle so much. Sometimes I want to cry watching him try to do what he used to do so effortlessly.
But I am grateful to spend every day with him.
I am grateful every single day that I can make a living while being home with my pet babies. I know how fortunate I am.
I’m grateful for both Charlie and Ivy, though I miss my funny-bunny Abi every single day. What I would give to have her back here with us.
But I’m grateful for the years I had with her. I will always cherish them. Just as I love each day I get to spend with my family and pets here now.
Gardener’s Hands:
I have hands that are wrinkled, ropy with veins, and thin. My knuckles stand out as though I’ve spent the better part of my life using them to punch a wall. My fingernails are whatever they are at any given moment. I don’t take pains to make my hands pretty.
Because I have gardener’s hands.
My hands dig in the dirt regularly. I often have to dig dirt out from under my fingernails.
But I no longer measure my worth by what a man thinks of me. That kind of mentality is long behind me now.
I live my life and am grateful for each day.
You can find happiness in so many places. The trick is to look for it rather than seek negativity around every corner. If happiness is what you want to see, then, by and by, you’ll find it.
“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive.” – Eleonora Duse
Beautifully written, Brenda. And I bet your hands are beautiful, too…
Brenda, thank you for sharing those very personal thoughts and feelings. I’m so glad you finally found the courage to leave that unhappy marriage and to make your life over into a happy and contented one.
My husband left me quite suddenly, having become involved with someone else and for a while I was so hurt and angry and bitter. But, then I realized that by focussing on those feelings I was only hurting myself and that it wasn’t up to me to punish him. He would eventually receive the consequences of his actions in some way or other. So, then, I just began to focus on the positive things in my life and move on. It wasn’t a straight path by any means. I “back-slid” a lot, but eventually it became easier and easier. And finally, I decided to regard him as a flawed human being as we all are and think of him with compassion. I knew for my own well-being I had to forgive him, so by the grace of God, I was able to. Then, his moment of rejection came when his new wife asked him to leave. I truly felt sad and sorry for him. Today, we are at a place where we are more like friends than anything else and can even enjoy our four grandchildren together on outings and birthdays, etc. I am so grateful that I have been able to leave the bitterness and sadness behind and enjoy my life. I wish the peace that brings for everyone who struggles with rejection and loss.
Gardeners hands are the most beautiful hands. Happy New Week.
Kris
beautiful post!
And yes about the dirt under the fingernails 🙂
Brenda, Been reading your blog for a while now. Just wanted to let you know I find such support in your words. I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer last year and had to have a hip replacement due to it- who knew breast cancer spreads to bones?
The lack of support from my live-in boyfriend of 12 years made me finally realize he had to go. He was never a real gem anyway. It can be terrifying to be alone at age 50 with a debilitating disease, but like you, I have my fur babies. 4 cats and one very active Australian cattle dog. And I never have to worry about trying to keep a man again!
Keep writing and I will keep reading!
Wow, you’ve been through a lot. You are one very, VERY brave woman.
You are WOMAN, You are STRONG. You have come so far and accomplished so very very much…If I lived near you, I’d like to give you a big Hug, and say “you made it”!!!!!!!!!So, I’ll just send you hugs in the mail, you are a role model for so many women…Hugs from Wisconsin…
I’d like to say that I learned all this a long time ago. In fact it was just about 6 years ago.
Great post! Amen!!
Thanks, Karen! I consider you a very strong woman.
Leaving a bad marriage is a difficult decision, and quite scary, no doubt. I put up with so much pain and hurt for so many years, cried myself to sleep so many nights, and then I finally woke up and said, I can’t control or change him – the only person I can control is me. That was a wake-up call. From that time on, I took control of MY life and let him do whatever the heck he wanted to. It no longer concerned me. I was planning my escape, and escape I did. I have not for one single night cried myself to sleep, and it’s been about 8 years now. It’s amazing that I let a man control my emotional well being like that for such a long time – I hope and pray my daughters are stronger than that. Kudos to you for finding your own happiness, my friend!
Why do we ever think we can change them? Must be something about women fixing things.
I love how you willingly share such personal thoughts. this post reminded me of when my ex husband and I split up, I pulled out of the driveway following my son in law driving a uhaul truck with all my worldly possessions (haha) and I have never looked back. So glad those days are behind me and I wish I had left much much sooner than I did.
Now I have a wonderful peaceful life, living alone like you, and life is good.
You do seem happy with your space in life. Hindsight, of course, is 20/20.
Beautifully said, Brenda. I’m so happy that you are so content with your life. It took me awhile, but posts like this really have helped me to find my way…
Well, it took me a long time to learn these things!
Absolutely eloquent!
Thank you! You’re so sweet.
Yes….let’s all look for the positive around the corner! Gardeners hands are the best! 😉
I will never apologize for gardener’s hands!
You had to be brave to walk away. You are so better off for it. Hugs
Yes, I am much better off.
This is a perfect example as to why I visit your log regularly. You do have a way to express yourself Brenda! I’m glad you are able to experience happiness and contentment now.
Well thank you so much!
Let’s all hope we continue to learn from our past….and move forward.
Exactly. If we don’t learn from them, then they’re wasted.
I try not to deeel on the past/ to painful…. I live a quiet and good life….. very thankful that I learned from my mistakes….
Me too. Everything you said.
Oh my! I was just looking at my hands this morning and hoping that all these age spots add character. I love the outdoors (well at least when the weather is warm, sunny, and my plants are blooming) and my hands certainly attest to that! I always mean to put those gardening gloves on but most often I forget (and I really like to feel the soil and tuck those little roots in without the gloves).
I too was in a marriage (for far too long) where I felt sad, anxious, and sometimes frightened. My timid nature (at that time) and lack of self-confidence had me convinced that I could not make it on my own. But, like you, I made the break and never looked back. I remember moving into my first apartment (with my clothing, a few personal items, and not much else), sitting on the floor eating chicken noodle soup/crackers and thinking “YES!” I have since remarried but will never give up my sense of self again. It is wonderful to compromise instead of being dominated (I know there are two individuals in a marriage and neither are blameless; in my previous marriage, our backgrounds and personalities were just too different to blend in a good way).
Your post today reminds me to look for the positive and to be grateful that I found me!
Thank you.
I lacked self-confidence. And I still bring this up from time to time because, one, I sometimes think about it. And two, so that my words might be what a woman who happens to be reading that day might need to read to give her courage and galvanize her to make that change.
SO happy you have found joy and happiness. And working in the dirt is so rewarding. And gives us so much joy.. Hope you have a wonderful day.
I’ve read that digging in the dirt releases serotonin in the brain.
“I no longer measure my worth by what a man thinks of me. That kind of mentality is long behind me now.”
If only I’d learned this at 21. Words to live by and I do so now.
I left my negative husband behind in 1980 and never looked back to what might have been. Old dogs don’t change their spots.
They surely don’t!
If only I’d learned at a young age too! It took me quite a long time and I was 54 when I was divorced and knew I wanted to be single forever.
Gardner’s hands are wonderful. Such a wonderful feeling to be out there with mother nature and God’s creations. I don’t have pretty hand either, but….. so be it! Isn’t it wonderful to be at peace where we live and not always wanting for more. Enjoy this wonderful day…
AMEN!
Well said! And yes.
Gardener’s hands should be a point of pride!
They are for me. It means I don’t just sit around on my hands. I get outside and try to create beauty. (Just finished cleaning out my closet, so that is a thing of beauty to me right now!)