Fighting Back Pain
It is cooler outside, yet I’m too exhausted to enjoy it because I’m fighting back pain.
Everything seems harder. Making my bed. Fixing food to eat.
Get the trash taken out. Lean down to Ivy’s bowl to feed her.
I feel stripped down to the marrow. I know it is just a phase and this too shall pass. But it’s really beating me down right now.
My back is tight from my upper legs into my lower to mid-back. It’s never been like this and I don’t know what caused it.
Stretching Makes It Worse:
At first I thought stretching was the answer. So I eased myself down to my yoga mat trying to not put pressure on my ankle. That just made it worse.
So then I thought what turned into a two hour massage on Monday would help. It was only supposed to be for one hour.
But my whole body was so tight and tense he gave me two hours for the price of one. And I gave him a good tip for having done so.
I hadn’t gone to see my chiropractor in over a year because it seemed too monumental a task. But that’s what I did yesterday.
After I walked down the hall to Dr. Riley’s office I hurt so much they had to get a wheelchair to take me to my car.
But his services didn’t help either.
It’s scary to contemplate. Is this just the state of my life now?
Isn’t it strange how some malady will seep into our lives and take over?
My Garden:
I love my garden space, but it’s all I can do to get out there right now. I use the walker, but between my back and hips and ankle, I feel like I’m going to collapse.
But, I remind myself when I feel low, I managed to get things growing last spring. I got herbs to flourish and flowers to bloom.
You know how you make deals with yourself? I tell myself I’ll be fine with not going out if only the pain will ease up.
The Physical Therapist’s Goal:
The original goal of course was for me to walk to my car in the parking lot without wearing a walking boot.
It’s been 15 months and I still haven’t accomplished that yet.
Yesterday I was thinking that maybe I should write more about being disabled. Such as the post I wrote about fixing food when you have a hard time getting around.
I got to thinking of all the things I’ve had to figure out since I live alone and don’t have outside help.
What delivery services I use. Where I ordered most of my garden plants via the mail last spring. Etc, etc.
Where Did My Energy & Excitement Go?
I look back to when I had so much energy and felt such excitement about life.
For now it has me beat, I’m just gonna say.
I sat down in my chair and then realized I left my water bottle in the kitchen. The trek from my chair to the kitchen looks so long that I just sit here with a dry mouth.
It isn’t all that far away. Maybe 15-20 feet. But what it takes for me to get up, to get my back in alignment enough to move forward, just doesn’t seem worth it.
How did a 1150 square foot apartment begin to feel so much bigger than it really is?
I think back to the days when I cleaned my own apartment. I enjoy cleaning, the very act of getting things picked up and wiped down.
The feeling of accomplishment. How the sink shines in the light coming through the window. The way your home smells after a good cleaning.
But there’s just no way I could manage it right now. Or at any time in the last two years.
Someone Jiggling The Door Knob:
About five in the morning one day last week I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I was in bed reading.
And I heard someone jiggle my door knob. I put my book down and listened closely. But it didn’t happen again.
The other night about midnight someone came to Lisa’s door. She looked through the window and said a man. She told him he didn’t belong there and to go away. And after a bit she said he left peacefully.
I’ve never been afraid to live alone. But it occurred to me, as things do when it’s dark outside: what would I do if someone broke in?
It’s not like I can run. I can barely walk. What would I do?
I remind myself that so many crimes are crimes of opportunity. A woman jogging after dark with ear phones on. Shopping at night and walking alone to your car in an empty parking lot.
If someone attacks you, it is usually a crime of opportunity.
A crime of opportunity is a crime that is committed without planning. It’s when the perpetrator sees that they have the chance to commit the act at that moment and seizes it.
Such acts have little or no premeditation.
Is It More Disconcerting As You Age?
Maybe it’s just growing older. When I was growing up, I know bad things happened. But it sure doesn’t seem like it was at the alarming rate it happens now.
I don’t even read the news because it’s rarely anything good. But let’s just take a little look-loo at what’s been happening in Tulsa recently.
Well, there are many more homeless people living on the streets after the horrible storm we experienced in June. So many lost their homes and still don’t have any place to go.
A senior community got shut down and the residents were given 30 days to find a place to live. There’s sure not much in Tulsa in terms of senior housing. Where do they go?
Officers made quite the discovery during a traffic stop. They found a baggie of meth hidden inside a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich.
Imagine being an officer going home after a shift and telling their spouse that whopper.
Have the people in this world suddenly become afflicted with a big fat case of the crazies?
Wyze makes a doorbell and is less expensive than Ring. I could never get the Ring to connect and they even sent a replacement to try. The electricians couldn’t get it to connect either (and they were young techie types). I got the Wyze and had it installed in less than 15 minutes. It’s available thru Amazon too. They make outdoor cameras too. The nighttime photos are pretty good.
I sure hope your back gets better soon.
Carla
As another (or others) have said, maybe kidney stones or the beginning of some type of kidney trouble needs to be ruled out. Also sciatica can be incredibly painful, usually beginning with pain in your lower back and radiating down a person’s leg.
See your primary doctor to rule out kidney stones,they can cause terrible back pain.
That’s scary about yours & neighbors doors,I’d be getting that ring doorbell in ASAP.
Hope you find some relief.
Hello, please email me, as I have tried responding and then my message has disappeared twice.
Brenda, I suffer from low back pain and have for years. My family doctor had me do an MRI and sent me to a neurosurgeon. He said I have degenerative disc disease which was causing my pain IGoogle it and read about it). It is common as we age. He said I was not a candidate for surgery and sent me to their pain management office. I’ve had cortisone injections twice. The first ones helped some, the second ones not so much. I keep a heating pad in my chair and take extended release Tylenol. You definitely need an MRI. Good luck.
I am so sorry to hear of your back pain. There are many good suggestions here already in your comments section, so nothing to add. I know from personal experience over the years, how horrible back pain is.
My poor 83-year old mother has been suffering horribly from severe sciatica for 9 months now. She was so fit and active still and boom – came out of the blue. She finally had a MRI and the very last disc (L5) in her spine is herniated. She has tried everything – chiropractor, PT twice a week, acupuncture, diet change, certain supplements, sees a natural dr as well as a spine dr, even finally went and got a cortisone shot (which she swore she’d never put in her body – but she got desperate) but it didn’t do any good. Most nights she can barely sleep due to the pain, so between the pain and lack of sleep, she’s been depressed and no energy. Which then leads to not wanting to eat either, so she’s lost a lot of weight (which she didn’t need to lose).
Like they say…sometimes the golden years aren’t so golden. 🙁
Your apartment complex management team should know of this doorknob rattling late at night; might also help to call the non-emergency line of your police dept. They could do extra checks on your complex at night. Perhaps also invest in a Ring doorbell. And I hope you have dowel rods in your patio doors.
So sorry to hear about your back pain. I’ve had back pain for 50 years (I’m 78 and the nerves in my back were damaged during back labor for my second son) so I know how debilitating and life limiting it can be. I try not to take ibuprofen, tylenol, etc. because they’re not good for my heart, liver and kidneys — and they really don’t work very well for me. I do use a natural muscle relaxant called Formula 303 that I get from Amazon and it does help without any adverse side effects. I keep moving because I know if I stop I’ll not be able to get going again. Praying this episode subsides quickly for you.
What has helped my lower back pain is getting a contoured pillow to sleep with. It aligns my neck properly and straightens the whole body down to my toes! Blessings to you today.
Brenda sorry to hear of all your pain. I was thinking maybe you and your neighbor can get a Ring for your door. It will notify you if someone is at your door and you can see/talk to the person. We like it as even if we’re away from home you get the notification. You can find it at Amazon. Hope you feel better soon.
I know you get all kinds of advice and here’s mine. I gave up gluten and it has made a world of difference for arthritis and rheumatoid issues.
Going Gluten Free is helping my Fibromyalgia and back and knee pain, too. I’m able to work outside again!
Feel better soon…body pain is rough. Been dealing with some myself. It can sure ruin a good day. I can at least sleep at night now with help from the doc…chiro did not help me this time. Blessings always💕
Gosh, I forgot somethings I wanted to say. If you car is close enough your panic button on your key fob could make the cars horn blow. Keep the keys and your phone by the bed and make sure you have a metal pipe or thick piece of wood in the sliding door track. I saw where the have a handle on the pipe so you don’t have to bend down so far. I just called the county to add a No Thru Street sign at the front of our development. We have a Community Crime Watch sign on that pole too. I use lots of solar spot lights and our neighbors really look out for one another. I see people on their phones or listening to music and have no idea what is going on around them. I wear a crossbody leather purse. Not to be fashionable but leather is more sturdy than a cloth or plastic strap. Better safe than sorry.
Sorry to hear about your back pain and I hope you find some relief soon. I wish I could get rid of my back pain. It does get better as I stretch and move around but first thing in the morning I just hope I can get to the bathroom. I think of how it will be in a month, a year, 10 years. I think everyone has been very concerned about crime and it is hitting close to home here too. Sad that so many people are suffering and turning to crime.The weather has been beautiful but we are waiting for heavy rain and wind here on the East coast. Stay safe everyone.
There are so many things that can cause such pain etc. I hope you can at least get a decent diagnosis somewhere. Wish you had a doc who does summus laser therapy (https://summuslaser.com/). We have it done for a number of issues…one is my husband has 4 damaged discs at the bottom of his spine…there is NOTHING we have ever tried that brings such pain relief. The laser also makes healing much quicker. We also keep a few items at home that can help, put on topically such as FIRM cream by Mannetech company, Frankincense and Myrrh oil, and some hemp based creams. All help some. You may not be able to reach the best place on your back to apply when needed however.
As to the worries over someone breaking in. At the least I would use a heavy stick or large dowel stick fit to track of sliding glass door whenever you are sleeping. And we use these under both doors in our apt: https://www.amazon.com/Securityman-Adjustable-Door-Knob-Security/dp/B077X5HY7X/ref=sr_1_5?crid=3NIOAL2MGJYR3&keywords=metal+door+handle+protection&qid=1695424700&sprefix=metal+door+handle+protection%2Caps%2C146&sr=8-5 and believe me the jerk maintanence guy TRIED to waltz in one early morning without so much as a faretheewell…heh, NOPE, no dice…keys don’t help with such a stop under the door handle.
I have always relied on my inversion table to relieve my back and neck pain. It worked miracles for me. But, after breaking my ankle, hanging from the ankle straps was out of the question until next year. When my back started acting up, x-rays showed I have scoliosis. I’m 72 years old and just now discovered scoliosis! Medi-care paid for a DEXA scan, and also discovered osteopenia. I’m determined to beat this. The Internet and my doctor are giving me all the advice about exercise and supplements/vitamins to correct my situation. Best of luck to you Brenda.
I am sorry to hear about your back. A primary care doc visit might be in order to assess the situation – run some bloodwork, order xrays, scan etc. It could be a muscle spasm – spasms can be quite debilitating but they should also go away in a few days w rest (move as little as possible during that time). Other things could be causing the back pain as well and it’s a good idea to rule them out such as kidney issues that can cause significant lower back pain.
I would contact my local police dept (non emergency) and tell them about your door and also your neighbor’s experience. They will probably send a patrol car to the area a couple of times a night maybe on a regular basis – this will also be a deterrent to anyone up to no good. I would also mention both occurrences to the apartment management and ask if they might install some additional lighting on the property. At a minimum, the complex should be aware of these occurrences.
Hi Brenda,
I am disabled from a work injury 12 years ago. I also have moderate scoliosis. I only have one kidney due to the surgeon removing one of my kidneys unintentionally during a surgery…as a result I take no perscription pain meds which shut my remaining kidney down. I use aloe Vera gel for pain and inflammation. it works wonders. Took me years to find something that would work. Also, heat will make your inflammation worse I have read. I highly recommend listening to Dr Barbara O’Neill on FB, IG and YT. She offers safe natural alternatives that will treat the cause and not just the symptoms. She has been a lifesaver for me. I can identify with you on the struggles on day to day living and the difficulty of doing normal things people take for granted. I am fighting and will not give up…Prayers for you and you finding relief.
I had a couple of thoughts I want to share with you. Krill Oil capsules make a HUGE difference for me when my pain (MS, Arthritis) kick up. I buy the 2K capsules from Amazon and take 1-2 depending on how badly I hurt. They work for me.
Have you thought of putting motion lights inside your doorways? First they will alert you to someone on your porches and also alert the person outside that you are now aware they are there. They are not expensive but they are effective. Amazon also sells doorknob alarms that will alert you (also the person outside) with a high volume alarm if someone turns it. Several of my friends who travel a lot take them to put on their room doors.
I’m very sorry you’re experiencing issues with your back, Brenda. I truly do understand because I fight pain every day. Living alone is not easy because no one is available to help us when we need help. I never go out after dark and keep everything locked up during the day. I, also, do not open the door to anyone. I think the world has gone a bit crazy and life is definitely not what it used to be. Do the best you can to take care of yourself, slow down a bit and maybe the back pain will subside.
Bless your back. I hope you feel better soon. Praying for you.
I’m sorry about your back pain. I’ve had it too, either due to a twist while vacuuming or simply out of nowhere. I’ve had pain so excruciating I became nauseous. I’ve had it where I could not walk one step. I’d lay flat on my back for relief and then in a day or two, it went away. I hope that’s the case with you.
I suspect the “door knob jiggler” is checking for unlocked doors so he can slip in and snatch a purse or something. I wonder if you can petition your local police to make a drive thru every night?
Brenda,
I was wondering if you had taken ill, I had not seen a post in 2 days. I am sorry that your back hurts.
Have you tried Arnica gel? I have heard great things about it. IT’S available from Walmart.
Also do you take vitamin D?
And Magnesium? There have been studies that magnesium helps with pain. I have read that epsom salt baths or even soaking your feet/ankles in Epsom salt with warm water(in a bucket or bowl)helps elevate or diminish the pain. It helps to reduce inflammation too. I find it helps with my back pain if I soak in the tub, I know that would be hard for you.
Vitamin D and Magnesium work together of bone health.
I AM NOT A DOCTOR, SO PLEASE CONSULT WITH YOUR DOCTOR BEFORE TRYING THIS OR DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH.
I hope that you feel better. Just remember how far you have come, you are an amazing woman Brenda! You are on your own and you have done everything for your pets, Abbie, Charley, Gracie and now Ivy. You survived Covid alone and have moved with the help of some friends. You are an inspiration my friend.
I think that you should use your experiences and life for posts. Life is not all “unicorns and roses.” People need resources, help and they need it from people that live life with these issues. Maybe it’s a weekly or bi-weekly series. I think many people would enjoy it.
Sending you a big hug, xo Elizabeth
Oh Brenda!
I feel your pain and mental anguish. I am recovering (slowly) from nearly breaking my ankle this spring. The physical therapy and just plain slowness of recovery. My husband uses a walker until his next knee replacement; looking at Jan. of 2024. Getting anywhere together can feel like a monumental undertaking. I know you see doctor’s regularly. Maybe an MRI to see if your spine has issues. I pray a lot these days and you are certainly among the daily list.
The world is spinning out of control. You can see it just going to the Post Office. I live out in the country. My neighbors are ranchers and farmers. A fairly new neighbor just finished building a Hi-Line modular home and it’s beautiful. She is a prison guard in Shelton Washington, about 30 miles away. She couldn’t stand the city anymore.
Hope you can get an answer to your back pain that’s a fix! Sending you a hugs…
P.S. Brenda, as another commenter noted, “good news” doesn’t sell, but people want to read about the wonderful things that take place daily around us, and we’re just not always aware of it. I hope this works – a link to a beautiful, touching and funny article I read yesterday at The Washington Post (I have a digital subscription) and I’m entitled to “gift” articles. It’s a story about a man who was struggling with various issues until a squirrel wandered into his life and changed everything: https://wapo.st/3rleCAR
Omg, Jan, that article was so fun to read! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!
Brenda, I have lower back and hip pain that has left me unable to be on my feet for more than 30 minutes at the time. Icy Hot lidocaine patches have helped so so much. No prescription and you can find them at the drug store, Walmart or Amazon.
And yes, the world has lost its collective mind, which is the reason I am happy being a homebody.
Wow, I’m sorry your back pain/issues have returned. Have you seen a doctor? I know a lot of people swear by chiropractors but it doesn’t seem like he’s able to do much for your pain other than give you a very short period of relief – by the time you get home you’re aching again and you have to go through a lot of pain to even get into your car, are in pain while driving, etc. I am not a fan of doctors shoving medications at patients, but for something like this, if exercises and massages don’t give you long-term relief, maybe there is a medication that will help. I assume the back pain is connected to how you contort your body to get around on the scooter, etc. My mom had a lot of back pain caused by kidney failure. Lidocaine “patches” on her back gave her hours of relief – no prescription required. We used to get them for her at Walgreens. Maybe they would help with your pain.
Brenda, I’m so sorry about your back pain. Back around the beginning of the year, my back just started hurting out of the blue. No reason that I could think of. I hadn’t twisted funny, or bent down, or done anything that would normally make it hurt. It was so frustrating. I tried ice and heat too. I noticed it would feel ok, until I stopped, and tried to move around. Then it came right back. And on top of that, it lasted about 2+ months! Usually it will hurt for maybe 2 weeks, give or take, but that time, it was so long, that I went to my doctor. He gave me some muscle relaxers. They helped, but even they didn’t stop the pain. Eventually, it just stopped on its own. I don’t know how or why. It was truly the craziest thing! I do hope you feel better soon. I’m glad the massage helped. I imagine it’s way worse for you, because you have other mobility issues at the same time. I’m really sorry. Is there any way you can get a motorized wheel chair to get around in your house? Not the knee scooter, but an actual wheel chair? I think they make a slim line one for moving around in tighter spaces. As for living alone, if I’d heard someone jiggle my door knob in the middle of the night, I’d probably have a heart attack! I’d hope my dog’s barking would scare them away. I’m waaay to chicken to go for a walk alone at night, but I have gone to the store late at night. I try to look around for anyone lurking around in the parking lot. I prefer to stay home at night. I also don’t watch the news, because it’s always depressing! ALWAYS! I figure if it’s important, someone will tell me about it. They need a happy news station, that tells you everything good happening in your area. I think a weekly series in living and functioning with disabilities would be good. Everyone ages, and those tips could really help someone. I responded to your last post a little late. I was wondering what the differences in your Keurig machines were, and why do you like this one better? Also, what did you ever decide to do about the grab bars for your shower? Were you able to find the one on Amazon that I sent you a screen shot of? I thought it might be helpful.
Are you keeping your cell phone with you at all times to make emergency calls??? in case of a breaking or a fall.
I am so sorry. Yes, everything does seem much worse now. I know there is also good news, but that doesn’t sell.
May you soon find answers to your pain.