Tomorrow I sign my apartment lease and start moving some things over there. The movers will be here on Tuesday.
The dogs are confused. I try to comfort them. But I think they recall that when there were all these boxes around us last time, we made a long journey to a new place.
As I go out and dig up my plants to move with me, there are so many things that go through my mind.
Have you noticed that a year or so after you move from a home, the location of cabinets or certain things that were in your former home become vague in your memory?
I know I look back on the places I’ve resided, and remembering where everything was located is like walking around in the dark. The former home is in the shadows of my memory.
I guess this is our way of letting go of one place and embracing the next.
There is a certain sadness about leaving a place you have called home, regardless of how long you lived there. The house was a home. It provided shelter.
Now I will just be one of the many residents who at one time or another lived in this old house.
To think of all the people that have lived here in this house built in 1934 is mind-boggling. It has changed hands many times.
To move to a new place carries with it a bit of anxiety. What will the sounds be? How much traffic will I hear? What will it be like to have people so close by?
In my head I go through the now empty rooms of my new home. I have seen this place only once. I wonder what it will look like with my things in it?
If it will be easy to transfer my day to day life there? If hanging my things on the wall will instantly make it feel like home?
There are things I will miss about this old house. The lovely fireplace and mantel for one. The narrow-planked wooden floors. The pretty molding.
My phrase for 2014 was “letting go.”
I hope it will be like letting a balloon loose in the wind. Watching it bob and float until it is out of sight.
Just letting it go.
I hope that letting go means finding peace. That unfulfilled dreams stay here in spirit as the last inhabitant of this little blue house.