Fine Print 10/11/16: October Is Domestic Violence Month

October is National Domestic Violence month.

Domestic Violence Month:

Domestic violence lurks in every strata of society. No matter whether you are rich or poor, you are in danger of getting caught up in a situation defined as domestic violence. Or it might be your sister, your mother, your daughter, your best friend…

It could be you.I’ve interviewed and written articles about domestic violence. I’ve lived it.

Research Data:

Victims oftentimes deny their situation, feeling guilty. As if being battered and coerced is their fault. They hide behind the fantasy of a happy home life because they feel shame.
1) Every 9 seconds, a woman in America is assaulted or beaten.
2) A mind-boggling one in three women (and one in four men) has been a victim of physical brutality by an intimate partner. 

3) This makes intimate partner violence the single greatest cause of injury to women. (Domestic Violence Intervention Program)

Sobering, huh?

 Food For Thought…

Domestic Violence & Pets:

I was so psyched last Friday at the vet when I picked up a flier in the waiting room and read about the first kennel being created for a women’s shelter in Oklahoma. And it is here in Tulsa

I’ve said for years that if I ever came into money, that would be my first charitable endeavor: to provide domestic violence shelters with kennels so women wouldn’t have to leave their pets behind. 

Because you know what? I wouldn’t leave my pets behind.

And that is a huge problem in providing a safe haven for women and not their pets. 

YouTube Video To Watch:

Here is a wonderful talk I’ve listened to many times on YouTube. If you watch it, you will find that this woman is very educated, very bright, and was very fooled. 

Intelligence is not a factor, regardless of what politicians might infer.

What You Can Do:

Please, if you know someone, or think you know someone, who is a victim; first, do not judge. 

You could be a catalyst. 

Possibly could give her information, knowledge about the law in your city or state. 

You could guide her to a safe haven by merely providing phone numbers for her to seek help in a time of grave danger.

USA Network Special:

USA Network Hosting A Special “Law & Order: SVU” NO MORE Excuses
Marathon in Commemoration of National Domestic Violence Awareness Month


You could let her know that you don’t think she’s weak or deserving of violence in her everyday life.

You could be her friend when she feels like she has none. And that may be all she needs to give her a sense of power.

It won’t be easy. But she has to find the strength and the resources to take that power back.


  1. My husband is suffering from NPD Found it after 25 years of abusive marriage relatioship which leads to make me Narcisist victim SYNDROME
    I stayed BCZ OF MY KIDS

  2. Keep getting this name site out there me , my sister,my daughter could have used something like this years ago as you can see it seemed to be a pattern. We have overcome.

  3. Great post, and I will re-share. It hits close to home for me as you know, and I still have nightmares about The Abusive Sperm Donor even thought I got away from him years ago. The memories never really go away.

  4. Great post Brenda. I was in an abusive relationship with my 2nd husband. He was mostly verbally and mentally abusive which I think sometimes is just as bad, there were a couple of times of physical abuse but mostly the other. I got to the point that I didn't care about myself or how I looked, I was wearing flannel shirts that were too big and jeans all the time and felt like no one would want me because I actually started to believe the horrible things he used to say. What finally woke me up was when my daughter witnessed one of his rages (he usually did it when she was asleep or not around, just like the quote above about witnesses), she was about 6 and I realized then I had to get out because I couldn't let her grow up thinking this kind of treatment was normal. My ex is medicated for bi-polar now and remarried. I think he is better or at least I hope for the sake of his new wife he is.


  5. My Father was the abusive man in my life. He made me, my sister and Mother's lifes Hell. My Mother never left him, but I got out of that house as soon as I could at the age of 17. And here I am in my 60s with the memories of the bruises, beatings, and terror, just like it was yesterday. Thankfully, I married a very kind man that has never laid a hand on me in 40 years. He changed my whole perspective of men and I live a happy peaceful life with him.
    Thank you, Brenda, for writing about this subject as it is a difficult one. The whole family suffers when there is an abuser in the home. Alcoholism fueled my Father's rages. My Mother was too scared of him to leave. She was dependent on him for everything and had no faith that she could live on her own. Divorce was a big stigma in her generation sadly…. She died young, due to stress I believe.

  6. This is an incredible post, Brenda. I knew a woman years ago who was in an abusive relationship and I sat her in my car and player her a song about strength and she broke down and cried. And we talked, and talked. And eventually she took her boys and left – I was so proud of her! It's better to be alone and a single mom than to be with someone you're afraid of.

  7. Inspiring, Brenda… I agree so much with that quote about how abusers are very much in control of their anger. Especially when there are witnesses.

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